35 and I've Finally Hit Rockbottom in Dating

[Bokanovsky]

1. dont use tinder.

2. meet girls.

3. hope theres a girl who doesnt know how much power internet and tinder gives her. aim for antisocial shy girls

4. Become Amish and date girls who have never heard of the Internet.

Seriously, your odds of meeting a woman under 40 who has never used online dating are basically zero.

 

[sexymanman]

man should spread. female and man don't like man who spread seed. they will try to financially ruin him, shame him for being a deadbeat dad.
what is a man to do? stay away from woman? adopt child to gay couple lol seems the pc thing to do now.

 

[Serenity]

I tried OLD for about 2 months before I had enough. This was back when I started dealing with my social anxiety. First one I met didn't go too well, I was awkward as fvck. Second one shortly after was maybe a bit too interested in me, she was hot, but she was crazy so I went ghost on her. Right after the second one I felt my social anxiety being severely reduced. I went to a party, apart from the host (my friend) I didn't know any of the people he invited. I went into it confidently and self-assured that I'll make it work in the moment, so it did. I set my aim for the hottest girl and then with great patience waited for the opportunity to come. I got her, easy. She turned out to not be of any interest to me for LTR, but at that point I realized that getting women IRL is far superior to OLD.

On OLD you can't take full advantage of a charming personality. You can type in the bio, but even if anyone reads it they won't get how you actually are.

On occasion I have attracted with my looks, but I don't stand out that much so they probably have very specific tastes. Most times I attract purely by the way I interact which I take full advantage of. My results on OLD was meh, few good women to begin with on top of not looking like a male model means few hits. I look good enough so I'm not immediately disqualified IRL, I get a chance and that little bit of time is enough to hook them. By that stage they don't care about how I look, they're into who I am. Then I figure out who they are.

It's not as efficient as OLD potentially could be, since you have to take the time to get to attract and then know them instead of skimming through a profile. But really it is more efficient because you will be a lot more likely to meet the types of women who wouldn't go anywhere near OLD, maybe one of those types are one that fits for you.

Basically what I'm saying is, maybe you've been looking in wrong place? Maybe the type of women you want doesn't typically use OLD?

 

[Focal core]

@OP:

Don't get me wrong mate but if you are of average attactiveness (being 5/10) you need to either:
a) read tons of DJ material/books giving perspective on female psychology
b) hit the gym ASAP
c) get your style&lifestyle checked
d) get your self development choices checked

If you have money, you can raise your SMV from 5 to 7.5 in about a year and give yourself a chance for stable LTR with a 6/10 woman which is what you should aim at TBH.

I'm around 8/10 myself and I don't get a lot of attention from women with SMV7 and higher - being able to date even point below your SMV requires work (yes, its work, for comfort look two points below).

So either you accept that you are going to marry fat chick or old chick that won't bear you offspring, I'd suggest you to hit upgrade button ASAP.

Mr specialist with 8/10 looks didnt get much attention from 7 and above? What the heck these women wants? From where I came from easily can get them without any much works, it didn't come solely base on my looks, or money, or status at work place.im Just too lazy to be in relationship. And I'm looking for a girl who doest have tomultuos relationship. Just a simple hb 7 above who love herself.

 

[Focal core]

Depends where do you live and who you date/what is 7/10 looks for you and what is 7/10 SMV for you - I live in largest city in my country, I am handsome and I earn good money - 7/10 looks chick for me is ASAP wife material for 90% of guys prolly not to mention I usually date in upper middle social circle mostly - 7/10 woman in SMV (for me) here usually prefers to get a shot at 9/10 SMV guy and will wait few months for it (because she will get it eventually, online dating here works efficiently).

Moreover I'm already in the age where looks doesn't matter as much as money (I'm close to mid-thirties ,I've very decent looks but I don't have as much money as my peers in my social group - I earn a lot but my family was rather low income with intellectual edge and my own social class peers come mostly from middle-to high income background) I'm a bit like 'homo novus' to women from my social class sometimes), Status and Money-chasers know I'm not at the peak of my SMV at this age and they know that I already should be - so I'm getting often discarded.

Moreover women in big cities nowadays have incredible amount of body count on them - when she tells you she had 4 guys but acts like she had 10, trust me, she had at least 15. You are a plate for them not the other way around - at least in my dating pool.

Sure you can settle but it's not the right time for me and I'm not really like that.

I'm 39 broke as Fvck (it will improved in near time, already had plans for it going on) as a result of my past divorced from true bpd exwife, At this very moment I'm just too busy with myself.. I myself had tons countless of past relationships, 2 of them were bpds.. still I could get a decent girl if I wanted to, most of my options were under 20s.. It isn't about money, looks, its about how you carry yourself, although I'm a good looking guy 6“1, but they can see my passion, see how happy I am for just being alone, they come even I'm not even trying. I guess girls a really good at seeing through you. It just not at my workplace, it's whenever I walk out of the door.

Nahh social circle only help, u need to expands further out of your social circle.

 

[Focal core]

Well I did change cities not so long ago so my social circle here still suc.k and I'm not really out of my upgrade mode yet (that's why I consider my SMV to be near top at 36 i.e. future not at 30 or 34 which is often quoted as top male SMV).

Btw. 6'1 is a great height to pickup women - being positive as well (personality is incredibly important). Shame you have $ issues. I really hope you will get straight with money. I know how it is.

Nayy it's not a shame living without money.. Lives is up and down such as such, Life throws us curve balls; if you've acquired some inner resources to dodge 'em, catch 'em or throw 'em back, you're doing just fine!

it's a tragic if only you lose yourself.

 

[broadstone]

OLD does suck...just approach women in person. Don't give up...

I'm 46, my last 2 relationships were both from in-person approaches. A 38 yr old and a 31 yr old. Have dated multiple others through cold approach. I'm avg looking btw (SMV 6 ish) but in good shape.