30 year old guy who wants to pick up 18-23 year olds...

[hughie1]

Here's the deal. I turned the big 30 not long ago. I live with parents. No job. No income. Starting from zero. I have always had a goal of backpacking / travelling the world for at least 6 months or do it indefinitely as a digital nomad (make money online from anywhere using laptop.)

I have various web skills and being doing stuff / making money on the web on / off for over ten years. Due to the ever changing pace of the web my skills have largely become out-dated. I have half made the decision to get serious and put in the time and effort to learn and practice all I need to in order to make my dream a reality.

This is my main goal or my "major definite purpose." Another goal is to get good with women, have lots of sex, have fun while I am still young enough. My history with women is virtually non-existent. I've come to realise this is largely due to the nice guy syndrome. I actually think, well pretty certain, I am a good looking guy. Well, either that or I have been completely delusional all these years. I mean, not like I have the track record of having banged loads of girls. No, seriously, going back ten years or more, I have very often got stares from good-looking women. I know that ("thirsty") look they give. Plus, I've always, generally, liked what I see in the mirror. I do remember on at least two occasions girls I sort of knew telling me I was attractive.

Two times does not sound like much but considering I had an awful social life throughout my 20s, hardly interacted with women as I was terrified of them, it's still two times. In NMMNG he says how nice guys sometimes use good looks, their personal appearance as a way of gaining approval or validating themselves. That's definitely me. Back when I was in university ages 20-23, especially final year, I felt so good with the amount of female attention I got. Yet I hardly spoke to females the whole time I was there. I felt good in the aforementioned regard yet at the same time never believed any female would want to be with me.

Anyhow, it is something that really annoys me and is a huge regret of mine, not taking advantages of my looks back in my early to mid 20s, not banging girls left right and centre. There was this one girl who I was infatuated with. It was so obvious she liked me back but I never had the balls to speak to her.

All this sounds vain and selfish but if women are attracted to you and you are a young guy, I know realise there is nothing wrong with it. Anyhow I want to travel and I want to pick up girls. I want to fulfill my potential while I still have my youth and looks. I can pass for early 20s so I've been told over and over so the age gap thing may not be such a thing. I want to bang the 18-23 year olds largely to make up for the unfulfilled potential when I was this age, and secondly because I find these women most attractive, naturally. Am I wrong? Am I bad? Strange? Creepy? Share your thoughts, opinions, experiences, advice. Thanks

 

[TheMonkeyKing]

So... What are you waiting for.

 

[btownbuck2012]

I'd be more worried about moving out of my parents house, finding a job and getting some income in. It seems like you blew that off over the past 10 years too? I'd focus on that and then you'll still have most of your 30s to skirt chase.

 

[Julian]

Man ive got so much in common with you its crazy. The places we differ at are on actual female experience as far as dating and banging. Ive had my fair share of ass over the years now because I came to the hypiphany you are coming to now, back at age 20. But hey bro dont feel too bad, its better late then never.

You are letting your potential and talent go to complete waste. You should just get out there, take a job any job and start making money. Stay at home and save up about 10k. Then take yourself a weeks vacation to somewhere like los angeles. it will cost you like a grand.

Like the above poster said, what are you waiting for? I mean you can take some low level job and will be working with alot of 18-23 year olds. branch out from there. Im 30 and I was partying with a bunch of college chicks last week because I work with a bunch of them. I look about 25 and have always had that same female validation you got, the thing is you need to act on those thirsty looks chicks give and dont be a beta.

 

[Young OG]

Get some sort of job, start stacking money, and start gaming.

There is nothing wrong with being 30 and going after girls that age range. If that's what you like, then that's what you like. You might come across some haters, but don't listen to them. Do what makes you happy. Don't worry about what society tells you to do.

I'm 35 and I'm only interested in girls in there early to mid 20s. I don't care what anyone thinks about that. I look like I'm 25 - 27 so it works out for me pretty well. I banged a 23 yr old and made out with a 21 yr old at a bar last weekend. If I can do it, then so can you. Good luck.

 

[marmel75]

What are you bringing to the table that is going to get hot women to want to be with you. It doesn't sound like much, I'd probably start working on that.

 

[AJ84]

Here's the deal. I turned the big 30 not long ago. I live with parents. No job. No income. Starting from zero. I have always had a goal of backpacking / travelling the world for at least 6 months or do it indefinitely as a digital nomad (make money online from anywhere using laptop.)


I have various web skills and being doing stuff / making money on the web on / off for over ten years. Due to the ever changing pace of the web my skills have largely become out-dated. I have half made the decision to get serious and put in the time and effort to learn and practice all I need to in order to make my dream a reality.



This is my main goal or my "major definite purpose." Another goal is to get good with women, have lots of sex, have fun while I am still young enough. My history with women is virtually non-existent. I've come to realise this is largely due to the nice guy syndrome. I actually think, well pretty certain, I am a good looking guy. Well, either that or I have been completely delusional all these years. I mean, not like I have the track record of having banged loads of girls. No, seriously, going back ten years or more, I have very often got stares from good-looking women. I know that ("thirsty") look they give. Plus, I've always, generally, liked what I see in the mirror. I do remember on at least two occasions girls I sort of knew telling me I was attractive.


Two times does not sound like much but considering I had an awful social life throughout my 20s, hardly interacted with women as I was terrified of them, it's still two times. In NMMNG he says how nice guys sometimes use good looks, their personal appearance as a way of gaining approval or validating themselves. That's definitely me. Back when I was in university ages 20-23, especially final year, I felt so good with the amount of female attention I got. Yet I hardly spoke to females the whole time I was there. I felt good in the aforementioned regard yet at the same time never believed any female would want to be with me.

Anyhow, it is something that really annoys me and is a huge regret of mine, not taking advantages of my looks back in my early to mid 20s, not banging girls left right and centre. There was this one girl who I was infatuated with. It was so obvious she liked me back but I never had the balls to speak to her.


All this sounds vain and selfish but if women are attracted to you and you are a young guy, I know realise there is nothing wrong with it. Anyhow I want to travel and I want to pick up girls. I want to fulfill my potential while I still have my youth and looks. I can pass for early 20s so I've been told over and over so the age gap thing may not be such a thing. I want to bang the 18-23 year olds largely to make up for the unfulfilled potential when I was this age, and secondly because I find these women most attractive, naturally. Am I wrong? Am I bad? Strange? Creepy? Share your thoughts, opinions, experiences, advice. Thanks

You need to find your own place.

I suggest you change that 'half decision' into a full decision to put in the effort to improve your web skills.

The thing is, and I'm sorry for being blunt, but it's not just fun with 18 to 23 yr old girls that you missed out on. You missed out on launching into an independent adult life. That really should be your number one focus as even 18 yr olds prefer a guy to have a job and his own income, and at your age, young girls will expect that. One of the benefits of dating an older man is that he can do things that an 18yr old boy can't do, like show a girl a nice time that doesn't start and end at Macdonald's. You need a job dude.

You're still youngish and if you look younger like you say you can still take advantage of your good looks but again, the living at home no job thing is an issue. What is a 30 yr old man bringing to the table that an 18 or 23 yr old isn't? That's what a girl will want to know and right now you live like an 18 yr old.

You're not wrong, bad, strange or creepy but I think your priorities are a little off. You don't have a job yet you want to travel and pick up girls. Whose paying for this? Please don't say your parents. And the longer you are away, travelling, and hence not building an independent adult life with a job and your own place to live, the harder it will be for you to do so when you begin having to compete with people who are in school and training to expand on their careers while you still haven't even started one.

I'm not suggesting abandoning your goal to date young girls, but maybe take some time on self improvement first, or at least make that your number one priority and the young girls could be a side project that you can do at home rather than put off getting a job to travel.

 

[hughie1]

You need to find your own place.

I suggest you change that 'half decision' into a full decision to put in the effort to improve your web skills.

The thing is, and I'm sorry for being blunt, but it's not just fun with 18 to 23 yr old girls that you missed out on. You missed out on launching into an independent adult life. That really should be your number one focus as even 18 yr olds prefer a guy to have a job and his own income, and at your age, young girls will expect that. One of the benefits of dating an older man is that he can do things that an 18yr old boy can't do, like show a girl a nice time that doesn't start and end at Macdonald's. You need a job dude.

You're still youngish and if you look younger like you say you can still take advantage of your good looks but again, the living at home no job thing is an issue. What is a 30 yr old man bringing to the table that an 18 or 23 yr old isn't? That's what a girl will want to know and right now you live like an 18 yr old.

You're not wrong, bad, strange or creepy but I think your priorities are a little off. You don't have a job yet you want to travel and pick up girls. Whose paying for this? Please don't say your parents. And the longer you are away, travelling, and hence not building an independent adult life with a job and your own place to live, the harder it will be for you to do so when you begin having to compete with people who are in school and training to expand on their careers while you still haven't even started one.

I'm not suggesting abandoning your goal to date young girls, but maybe take some time on self improvement first, or at least make that your number one priority and the young girls could be a side project that you can do at home rather than put off getting a job to travel.

"Whose paying for this? Please don't say your parents."

Nope. I hope to make money online and travel indefinitely and move abroad. I even thought about teaching english in vietnam. I just want to travel whilst I am still young and be picking up girls around the world and at hostels etc. Obviously at the moment having no money I cannot do this. Posting on here and thinking a lot about dating and self-improvement sort of shows my intent. Sort of enough's enough, got to sort my **** out. I think I am suffering from depression. I have probably been depressed for many years. I feel in a better place than I was a few months ago but I am oversleeping (find it hard to get out of bed added on to the fact I go to bed late) and just drift to old patterns of a morning which goes roughly: go downstairs, make coffee/tea, sit on couch and watch YouTube (mainly travel documentaries and vlogs, boxing related, personal development, etc). When I get the energy to shower and brush my teeth I finally do so, before spending the rest of the day on computer, phone, reading on the bed or something like that. I have been working my way through a web design ebook but find it hard to motivate myself to do more than an hour a day so it has been a slow thing. I do exercise sometimes, do a bodyweight workout, but mostly not motivated.

 

[hughie1]

What are you bringing to the table that is going to get hot women to want to be with you. It doesn't sound like much, I'd probably start working on that.

Suggestions?

 

[hughie1]

Man ive got so much in common with you its crazy. The places we differ at are on actual female experience as far as dating and banging. Ive had my fair share of ass over the years now because I came to the hypiphany you are coming to now, back at age 20. But hey bro dont feel too bad, its better late then never.

You are letting your potential and talent go to complete waste. You should just get out there, take a job any job and start making money. Stay at home and save up about 10k. Then take yourself a weeks vacation to somewhere like los angeles. it will cost you like a grand.

Like the above poster said, what are you waiting for? I mean you can take some low level job and will be working with alot of 18-23 year olds. branch out from there. Im 30 and I was partying with a bunch of college chicks last week because I work with a bunch of them. I look about 25 and have always had that same female validation you got, the thing is you need to act on those thirsty looks chicks give and dont be a beta.

My last and only job was at 26. I got that female attention again and felt truly in my prime. I took care of myself. Changed up my haircut. Used to shave every morning before work with electric razor to get that fresh look (this largely contributed to me being late far too often which eventually led to them releasing me from my contract after just 6 months.) I had this one girl who made it clear she was interested in me. I thought I was the dogs bollocks up until this point. I felt the same as I had done about three years earlier in uni. Thing is, once she started sending me emails (she got my name from one of the guys) my ass completely went. I would have ****ed this girl no doubt. But I did not know how to handle the situation at all. I was absolutely fearful of the whole situation. I felt sick almost. I ignored her emails. I gave her my number. She text me. I had no idea how to respond so ignored it for a while to. She said I was the hardest guy she had ever dealt with. She had hear of hard to get but I was taking the piss. That was not a nice experience to be honest.

 

[hughie1]

I'd be more worried about moving out of my parents house, finding a job and getting some income in. It seems like you blew that off over the past 10 years too? I'd focus on that and then you'll still have most of your 30s to skirt chase.

My work experience thing is kind of a strange one. My only job was aged 26 in a call centre for 6 months. I have had social anxiety most of my teens and twenties. But another reason is I began making money online around 2004 and on/off throughout 20s. I was never earning a lot but never had a huge social life so did not need a lot. Always lived at home. I am not too keen on a job. I feel like some ****ty minimum wage job is the last thing I need now. Sounds crazy I know.

 

[switch7]

Dude you need to move fast otherwise you are gonna miss the boat of life.

No time to waste anymore. Everyday day that you do nothing is time u will have to pay back in the future.

YouTube bullet journal, and learn how to use one. Organise your day every day.

Break down your goals into small chunks and start working at them.

Motivation requires action. Once you get moving and you see the results, then the motivation comes. Think newtons law.

 

[RedScorpion]

Focus on your goals, build up a life for yourself that makes you happy/satisfied without any girls. I fully recommend pushing yourself to at least get working out (lifting/muscle gains) - the improvements to your body also impact your psychological basis. So it's not just "Oh, my body is better looking, big whoop", but rather "Oh, I actually look good, and better than the average guy as well". The hardest part in working out is starting out, going to the gym that first bit. Then I find you just click in and actually desire it. Exercise helps in depression as well. I have depression - still working on that depression. I do get depressed still, but the exercise/improvements is pulling me out some.

This isn't all of what you need to do. I recommend focusing on yourself and thinking of how you can include a girl in that life you've built. I think you might be able to get some one night stands with looks/game alone - but if you want a semblance of a relationship, I think that girl has to think "Okay, this guy has something going on in his life". Even if you're not there yet, and you're just stating it - working towards it is enough.

Failures do suck ass. It can be really tough to overcome and push it aside - but it does make you stronger. You won't think it during or even after perhaps, but as long as you have that goal and can keep pushing towards it - that is proof in itself of your accomplishment. Strength comes from the ability to overcome, in my opinion. And it varies from person to person the struggle. It's not easy.

Personally, I've gone from nearly completely broken, to being adequate at being myself. My last failure... it really burns in me, but it spurned me from a two year zombie stupor, where I was only going back to school, and occasionally hanging out with friends. No hobbies, doing ok at school. But really not living life at all. Just... life passing by. This is an absolute waste.

Now - I've picked up two hobbies that I really like. Hitting the gym 3-4 times a week in addition. Hanging out with friends more (although I still need to make more friends). I'm keeping my mind fresh and 'thirsty' for new goals and ambitions. Because I know I have to. I can live like most people and meander through life. Or I can capture what I can, and move forward. The only other option is to give up. Which I have decided not to do.

It's tough. Don't be too hard on yourself either. Just go for your goals. No more excuses or self-blame. It's an easy habit, one that I'm still working on. But push forward regardless of the pain. Always.

 

[hughie1]

I do a lot of reading in the personal development arena but virtually take no action. One of my favourite books is Brian Tracy Goals. I read it often to give me a dopamine hit. I have quite recently started working through it and answering the questions again. I have answered the questions in the early chapters various times in the past. Now I am trying to work through the more advanced chapters. One thing I have been doing though since July which I learned from Brian Tracy is to write down your goals in the present, personal, positive tense with a deadline and do this every day. I sometimes do it twice a day.

 

[AJ84]

I do a lot of reading in the personal development arena but virtually take no action. One of my favourite books is Brian Tracy Goals. I read it often to give me a dopamine hit. I have quite recently started working through it and answering the questions again. I have answered the questions in the early chapters various times in the past. Now I am trying to work through the more advanced chapters. One thing I have been doing though since July which I learned from Brian Tracy is to write down your goals in the present, personal, positive tense with a deadline and do this every day. I sometimes do it twice a day.

I see from one of your posts that you have suffered from social anxiety in the past and think you may have depression.

Have you ever heard of mindfulness mediation for anxiety and depression? It's a cognitive therapy based process that helps people deal with anxiety and depression in the moments when they feel it. It's not a process where one is taught to avoid feelings or thoughts that contribute to anxiety or depression, rather, people are taught how to tolerate them (like building distress tolerance). It's the premise of not believing everything you think (ie I think I'm a dumb so I must be dumb) and learng how to cope with negative thoughts and feelings by acknowledging them and allowing them to pass, rather than dwelling on them and letting them spiral into more negative thoughts and feelings.

 

[marmel75]

Suggestions?

Start acting like a man? Men have ambition, drive and determination. You seem to have none of those. Unless you figure out a way to get those, there isn't much to say. Your parents have done you a great disservice by letting you mooch off them.

What exactly is that teaching you? That it's OK to sit around and do nothing because they will take care of you. I just don't understand how you are cool with that...I would do whatever I had to not to end up in that situation.

 

[Trump]

99.9% sure OP is a troll.

Keep taking the bait at your own risk.

 

[ChristopherColumbus]

You need outward orientated adventure. Get out of the safe cocooned environment you are currently mired in.

 

[sph21]

I want to bang the 18-23 year olds largely to make up for the unfulfilled potential when I was this age, and secondly because I find these women most attractive, naturally. Am I wrong? Am I bad? Strange? Creepy? Share your thoughts, opinions, experiences, advice. Thanks

No. You're not wrong. it's not a bad thing. It's not creepy. You're worrying too much. I'm 35 and I'm dating a girl who's today is turning 21. When I was 31, I was dating with a 20 yo girl. I was still a beta or a nice guy. You see, I could still get a girl even if I was a nice guy. All you have to do is to take action.

If you have a problem about talking to a girl you like, why not practicing a conversation with a girl you don't like. I did it to gain my own self confidence.Talking to a beautiful girl that I like is not a big deal now. You need to fix your mindset towards everything. Once you change it, you'll see everything differently.

Don't be afraid to try new things. Don't be afraid to fail. Failures can be a good teacher if you let it. This is your life. Nobody can fix it for you but yourself.

Read DJ Bible and start fixing what you can fix right now.

 

[user43770]

Staying up late, sleeping all day and never leaving the house will definitely lead to depression. I've been there a couple of times in my life. Add alcohol/marijuana to the mix and you have a recipe for disaster.

You need structure in your life. Start going to bed at the same time every night and forcing yourself to wake up early. Find reasons to get out of the house during the day so you can get some sun and social interaction.

Get a job waiting tables or something. It will allow you to be around younger women and will help with the things I already mentioned.