30 y.o. gals + Bars = ???

[al77]

I recently talk to a couple of gals of 27 and 33 y.o. , and it occured to me that both of them emphasized a) they love to go to bars b) they love to do it with friends.

There is nothing wrong with bars, but excuse me: it is a good thing for 30 y.o. women to share with a guy in the very begining of the convo?

I would understand if she is 21 - she's eager to show off with her new status of legal drinking. "Coool!". Ok.
I would understand if she likes a paricular, cool bar and later on in the convo. And without friends but with me.

But if she is 30 and still the first thing to say is "Bars\friends"? What am I supposed to think? That she still loves to get drunk at 30? She is still a party girl? That bars\friends is the highest entartainment she can think of? Is she trying to say "I am too attached to my independent life where I work, and then go to bars to get get drunk with friends, therefore I dont need anyone in my life right now?
Or is it "Hey I am an average Jane, boring and dumb - I can't think of anything besides bars, I still think they are cool?"

Here is a begiing of the IM convo:

She: Hello.
Me: How is it going?
She: Good and you?
Me: Peachy Anything exciting this weekend?
She: I just got back from Chicago
Me: Foodfest or you are ona diet? lol
She: No, no diet for me. It was so packed though we only got food there once.
Me: Tight schedule of fun? sounds cool! what did you do?
She: We basically went to the bars . Did some tourist things to, the tastefest, relaxed on the beach...

I am not getting it: she drove all teh way to Chicago to go to some bars with friends?? She could not get drunk in her town? WTF? Why is it the first thing she is telling me?

All comments are welcome.

 

[scordate]

1.
dont think so much about what women say !

2.
she wants to show you that she lives an active life with many friends instead of staying home watching TV

3.
you asked what she did, huh ?
she told you ! period.

4.
you are reading too much into it

/ scordate

 

[al77]

Originally posted by scordate
2.
she wants to show you that she lives an active life with many friends instead of staying home watching TV

3.
you asked what she did, huh ?
she told you ! period.

It is true. Though imagine: a guy in his 30s is asked: so what you were doing on the weekened?
He: uh well.. I went to bars with my friends mostly.

Did he look like a guy who has a life?

And it is ok for a guy to go and have a drink - it is fine.
But when an older woman say that " yeah, I love to go to bars" - thats different, that means her life revolves mainly around getting drunk.
I would prefer her to say what cool programs on TV she watched instead of "We went ot bars".
At least it would show she is home-oriented person, who is into LTR. Women are into bars in their 30s are looking for whom? For sombody who is also into bars, for a drink buddy ((

 

[iveyleeger]

Peachy

I'm gonna steal that line

 

[al77]

Originally posted by iveyleeger
I'm gonna steal that line

Nah.. dont...some women got stuck.... and later told me "Hmm.. I was not sure if your "peachy" was connected to sex" LOL
When you start IM convo - they are so uptight since they dont want to talk to a creep...
But it would definitely work well in real life.

 

[Ebach]

Life is about what you make of it. Actually, in bars you're living your life. What the hell is wrong with people these days? It's ****ing depressing. Planning everything ahead is just stupid and playing by society's rules is just as stupid.

If you continue like that, at around 40 or so you'll realize you haven't done **** in your life and you'll wanna go all crazy but you'll be too old for that ****. Live while you can...

al77, if someone asks you about the definition of active life what would you tell them?

What you don't understand is that society's rules are made of scared old men who never got to enjoy life, who's potential is the size of their penis which isn't much, who work all day long to **** up your life. Do you want to be like them?

 

[al77]

Ebach,

I would not talk about bars for sure.
What I dont like is her attitude: she is telling me how she likes to get drunk with her friends. She is telling me that first, as if really it is her "active life" that is worth showing off. Dont you find it odd?

Would you like a woman who is into bars, drinks and getting drunk with friends?

 

[NewMan]

Where does it say that she got drunk?

It sounds like she went to Chicago to this tastefest - had fun and hung out with other people socialising in bars.

what? is she supposed to sit in her hotel room all day and night?

If you are not social and do not like bars then don't go - and forget this woman.

 

[al77]

NewMan,

I guess I am just readind too much, look she said:
"We basically went to the bars . Did some tourist things to, the tastefest, relaxed on the beach..."

That means she _basically_ went to Chicago not to the tastefest, it doesnt happen in bars...Her primary goal, time spent was in bars. She emphasized it: she is it first and said "basically".
what do people do in bars? especially if they visit many of them? Getting drunk.

I felt like she didn't want to sound like a complete average jane and of course added the tastefest, tourist things....

What I dont get is why she wanted to drive all the way to Chicago to go to _basically_ to bars?? Why did she tell me that _first_ as if it was the most important thing in her schedule?

If she had say "the tastfest, hung out with people.. visited a cool bar" then it would habe been completely different.
But no, she wanted me to know she loves bar scene so much. You think it is a good conversation started for a woman?

For a guy - it is tolerable, but not great. For a decent woman it is just very odd.

 

[allan976]

al, you think too much and over analyze everything. Stop thinking and start doing. Go. Out. In. The. Field. Repeat after me. Go. Out. In. The. Field. Repeat again. You MUST stop posting on this board for at least two months. Completely ignore the computer and go out in the field. Do it. Stop making excuses. Travel to another town if you have to.

 

[optimist prime]

Al, no offense, but you sound insane. You think some girl is odd because she went to chi-town to hit the bars, go to the tastefest and the beach? Sounds like a great time to me. Chicago is well known for its nightlife and bars, and lots of people go jsut for that reason.

You need to get a grip dude.

 

[JackPrescott]

Originally posted by al77
NewMan,

I guess I am just readind too much, look she said:
"We basically went to the bars . Did some tourist things to, the tastefest, relaxed on the beach..."

That means she _basically_ went to Chicago not to the tastefest, it doesnt happen in bars...Her primary goal, time spent was in bars. She emphasized it: she is it first and said "basically".
what do people do in bars? especially if they visit many of them? Getting drunk.

I felt like she didn't want to sound like a complete average jane and of course added the tastefest, tourist things....

What I dont get is why she wanted to drive all the way to Chicago to go to _basically_ to bars?? Why did she tell me that _first_ as if it was the most important thing in her schedule?

If she had say "the tastfest, hung out with people.. visited a cool bar" then it would habe been completely different.
But no, she wanted me to know she loves bar scene so much. You think it is a good conversation started for a woman?

For a guy - it is tolerable, but not great. For a decent woman it is just very odd.

People go to bars to socialize and drink. Single people go to bars to meet other single people of the opposite sex. I like to have a drink after a hard days work, and if I meet someone of the opposite sex who likes me, so be it. Nothing wrong with the bar scene.

 

[themanwithnoname]

If a woman is in her late 20s and she likes to go to bars/clubs still and she obviously doesn't go there for the music, she's a bar fly w hore.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by optimist prime
You think some girl is odd because she went to chi-town to hit the bars, go to the tastefest and the beach?

She is not odd beacsue she went to bars in Chicago. No.
Everyone go to bars once in a while.

But it is odd for her emphasize "I like bars mainly" when she just started talking to a guy, who she met from a dating site.
She wanted to tell me that she was social?
What I am getting that she is into ONS and attention from drunk dudes.

Why didn't she start with "I went o tatste fest, the beach and visited some bars?" That would make a TOTALLY different impresson.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by themanwithnoname
If a woman is in her late 20s and she likes to go to bars/clubs still and she obviously doesn't go there for the music, she's a bar fly w hore.

Some were in their early 30s and still "I love bars". I just dont get it... what she likes about bars? getting drunk? drunk dude attention? Easy, quick partenr for ONS?
And I am supposed to like her because she is into those kind of things? .... She even didn't realize what she is into... it is a huge blunder for sombody who is not 20 y.o. anymore.


themanwithnoname,

You summurized it right. Now I am even wonder why other guys here, on this forum think it is ok for 34 y.o. single woman to start a convo with a guy with "I love bars"?? She does she want to say by it?

 

[themanwithnoname]

Well, it's alright if 30+ yo women go out for drinks, but if their intention was to attract guys, they are bar fly w hores neverthless.

and you know what i think of bar flys = f ucked in the head mentality.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by themanwithnoname
Well, it's alright if 30+ yo women go out for drinks, but if their intention was to attract guys, they are bar fly w hores neverthless.

and you know what i think of bar flys = f ucked in the head mentality.

Right.
Even if she just go for drinks with her gf, man....
she is not supposed to _emphasize_ this her activity much to a guy she just met. It is not her best quality

 

[al77]

Just got a letter from a bar chick:
---
if you want my honest opinion right now, it would probably be hard to understand. I just got home from watching friends play softball, and we drank a lot of beer. I'm not sure I should be discussing anything of importance right now. I guess you will just have to wait for my insights.

Guy... help me understand this:
All right, he likes beer, he likes her friends.. he likes to hang out with friends an dget drunk. But why would she want to tell that to a guy? She thinks it is a good way to show she is social???

 

[MindOverMatter]

al77, if you don't like her lifestyle, or think she's a bar sl*t, simply don't be with her man! this is nothing to wreck your mind over, just keep looking.

I personally wouldn't touch a woman that's still clubbing after 25 with a 10 foot pole.

 

[al77]

Originally posted by MindOverMatter
al77, if you don't like her lifestyle, or think she's a bar sl*t, simply don't be with her man! this is nothing to wreck your mind over, just keep looking.

I personally wouldn't touch a woman that's still clubbing after 25 with a 10 foot pole.

MindOverMatter,

Good advice! I will definitely follow it.

Sometime after readin too many different opinions I start to doubt that what I think is 100% right: look at the posts above: about half of the responses from guys were like "She is all right, she is just social, thats you who are weird - bar flies are ok..."