2nd date, girl wants me to hang out with her friends..

[RallySportRyan]

We had a great one on one first date last Sat. We spent a couple hours talking at the bar and also while dining. Went to a club and afterwards we sat in her car for another couple hours talking.

So she just e-mailed saying she would love for me to come out with her and some friends for her best friends B-day next Sat! I don't know what to do in this situation. I am thinking about not going because more than likely it should be a "girls night out". But another part of me thinks she will feel rejected if I dont go. So should I or not?

While we had a great time by ourselves, I tend to get shy in larger groups because you feel pressured to impress more than one person so it could kill anything afterwards.

 

[Vincent Freeman]

To me it seems like she is a girl who is really close to her gfs. Thus, she is more or less waiting for their approval, so she can cast the final judgement on you. Sort of like a second interview for a job. You got approved by one boss, now you need a final approval from the rest of the executives.
Now, back to your question. Should you go? Well that all depends on what they are doing. If they are going to celebrate at a club/bar then I would go, but not alone. In cases like these I like to bring my boys in case it all doesn't go as smooth. However, if it's a small little get together, then I would most likely pass on it. Usually when I met the friends I like her to also meet my friends, that way the attention is not solely directed to me. Good luck!

 

[DJArlington]

yea take one of your boyz with you, that's a good idea. also on this date you got to initiate some kino - it's a must... hold her handle a little, like when you are crossing the street - just touch her.. .trust me on this one. and then you need to kiss her to end the night. that way - you are a guy who has balls and she's you as more then a nice guy - that's my two cents...

 

[Damian]

I say go ahead, but make sure you display personality when you are with them. Tell a story that shows that you are a great guy, but keep them laughing. If you can do set pickups at clubs, hanging out with her girlfriends shouldn't be much of a problem. Still, bring a wing to back yourself up, and heck, maybe even set him up with one of her cuter gf's.

-Damian

 

[RallySportRyan]

Yes, they are planning on going out to bars/clubs for the night of her best freinds B-day. I don't have an idea on how many are going to be there but i'm guessing less than 5? So is that probably a girls night out only? What is the max number of friends that would say go/no go?

Oh and trust me there was lots of kino on our first date. She actually would keep touching me during our dining and club outing and I would return them. We already kissed twice (french) before we parted our ways.

Thanks for the insight guys and if theres anything else that could be added please let me know!

 

[RallySportRyan]

So she will pretty much axe me as far as dating or b/f material if I totally bomb the night out with her friends?

 

[Vincent Freeman]

If she invited you, it's obviously not an all-girls night. If she wanted it that way, she would have never asked you to come. Like I said earlier, bring at least one of your friends. Best way to score with the friends is to get one of her friends to like one of your boys. She'll immediately give you the thumbs up! Don't forget to be smooth so you can brush off her friends. Luck to you!

 

[RallySportRyan]

Damian, what do you mean by "set pick ups at clubs"?

 

[amano]

Hey guys, Im in a similiar situation. I met a girl a while back, and we went on one date a couple weeks ago (movie, dinner, typical). It went fine.

I believe the IL is there since she would write to me alot. Since the date weve both been pretty busy and contact has been minimal.

She emailed me today asking if I could meet up with her and some friends in a bar Wednesday. I already turned her down for a similiar request a week ago (I was busy no joke) and told her "next time for sure". So this time I replied it wouldnt be a problem to meet her Wednesday.

Im thinking her friends are a mixed male and female group. Also my buddies are unavailable so I will be flying solo.

Normally Im not used to meeting "the friends" right away. This girl also recently (a couple months ago) broke off a 1.5 year relationship which Im sure is still not completely out of her system.

Your thoughts please.

 

[ScrewIt]

DONT DO IT

if a girl suggests you meet her friends it's LJBF land.
tell her you're busy that day and reschedule a date for some other time.

If a girl has strong IL, she will keep the get togethers with you 1on1.

 

[amano]

Hey Rallysport Ryan,

I did a search through the forum and this post on the topic has some good info.

http://www.sosuave.net/forum/showthread.php?s=&threadid=38980

 

[RallySportRyan]

Wow amano, this girl also just got out of a 1.5 yr relationship as well back in july!

To me it seems this girl is moving way to fast. she must be trying to place me into a category real quick so she could move on to the next possible date? I mean we talk on the phone two times before the date and she is already e-mailing me saying she had a great time talking to me. I think it's all very sudden, does it sound like she is desperate?

 

[Lesson4u]

First of all, do not EVER go on any "girl's night out"--ever! How do you want her to view you...as one of the "girls"?

Listen, this is her attempt to take control of the situation by bringing her into "her world." By supplicating you are lowering your social value, and furthermore, the entire night you will be viewed as a side dish that nobody ordered. Your social value will be lowered even further. Either one of two things will happen then: 1) she will keep you around as a boyfriend that she can control, 2) she will laugh at you behind your back to her friends and blow you off.

Instead of jumping through her hoop, make an offer of a DAY 2 that is just you two meeting for a drink or lunch. Bring her to some place on YOUR turf where your social value is already high.

As always, best of luck...................Lesson

 

[RallySportRyan]

Alright thought I would give you guys an update. I talked to her on the phone last night and she said it will be her and her best friend going, possibly one more girl, so 3 at most.

Heres the interesting part, some of her "guy friends" are going as well, like 2 or 3 at most. One of the guys she has known for a long time will be in her area that Sat. and he lives a good 3 or 4 hours away.

She said she would like for me to go and it would be her "treat" as in paying for everything if I were to go. So based on this new info, especially the "guy friends" coming, should I still go?

 

[Borgon]

If you feel there is something there and she just aint playing you, then i would go but just act normal and study her vibe. If she just ignores u and pays more attention to her other guy friends then hit on her friends or hook up with someone else and next her. Now on the underhand if u just want to make her your f-buddy then dont go and get some 1 on 1 time.