does this one sound familiar?
How can something like this happen`?
Well i have spent most of my life develloping my hobbies and recreational activities like composing music and doing artsy stuff.
Played in many bands. This is all great. One thing i didn't do was develop my physical appearance: (BIG MISTAKE!)
(People say I'm really good-looking though)
I weigh about 53kg(116lbs) and am 172cm tall. I have a very slim figure (maybe frighteningly slim, but not really sickly).
These physical factors contributed to my complex of not being "worthy" to the women I seek. I have very high standards concerning looks and figure when it comes to women and never really thought I myself could match these expectations, thus never approached women really. If i did, my moves greatly lacked self confidence. I'd always become childish or self-pitying or even belittle myself even more using self centered jokes- on the other hand always tried to play the romantic, highly emotional artsy guy with "great" interests and always very analytical when it came to social behavior of people in general...always philosophying about the purpose in this or that - also life in itself. Expecting people to love and approach me because of my unusual interests?
BIG MISTAKE!
My grave deficit: poor conversational skills. Flirting is difficult.
I display an earnest type of behavior whereby my discussions with women are very subject oriented and focussed on "interests" in general, or serious matters like the ones mentioned above, but sometimes, mistakenly emphasizing the fact that I dont know where I belong...since I have a very mixed ethnic background that has nothing to do with germany (my actual home).
TIP: DON't EVER DO THIS!
This always made me appear unstable and lacking a decent backbone. My backbone was music but obviously they never believe this.
All my friends have girlfriends though. This helped me draw myself into the hole of self pity. I wasted a lot of time trying to gain contacts through my friends and socializing with them a lot. --ended up never meeting new people, cause they always had their girlfriends with them. (The girlfriends LOVE to talk to me.)
MY friends were not interested in drawing new crowds. ...Dead end. Spent my whole high-school carreer with these guys. mostly because I play in a band with them. It may pay off someday though.
But hey guys: examine your surroundings. Can you meet new people if you continue to be in the circles your are currently in`?
Look at this closely and make changes.
Music was for me the only way of emphasizing my uniqueness to the community. Somehow this didn't cause the girls to run up to me and beg for dates though. For whatever reason.
Being a student in the science field is already a handicap.
It usually triggers the "yuck" reaction with girls and them remembering their horrible chemistry chapters they had to learn in school. One has to immediatly divert their attention to "positive things" - not an easy thing to do once that evil seed is planted.
There is not a day that goes by where i don'T think of how nice it would be to have a girlfriend to share my interests with. It's like a sickness: always longing for sexual nearness (ever since I was f*cking 11 years old - like being obsessed with women, but not showing it really).
Now this may sound pitiful, but I think every man has similar feelings. It's just so dehabilitating because it puts you under incredible stress the whole time.
How to get rid of this? DJ bible does offer some advice.
I am trying the gym. Three times a week. Muscle build-up.
Hoping I can gain self confidence.
But might there be more underlying factors that where not spoken of in the DJ-bible? i.e. upbringing?
Is all this sh*t worth a councellor or can it be alleviated by working out and practicing DJ-Bible-techniques?
One of my strengths is being very open and fair to myself and towards others as well. I can become very personal if i want to.
One question most guys have to face at my age (having zero experience with women) is... am i perhaps gay?
I have even thought of the possibility of me being gay.
My conclusion after analyzing my thoughts and behavior and comparing it to many examples:
This does not apply since I do not feel drawn towards men.
I do not enjoy touching them, neither do I enjoy being touched by them in any way, whereas if women only touch me I become aroused. I think they notice this but I can't help enjoying it.
Also I never dreamt of having sex with a man and kind of thought of it as being really disgusting and disturbed. sorry for bringing this up guys, but i think it's a fair question to ask.
Let's face it. if i don't improve I'll stay single for the rest of my life.
I highly recommend the dj bible to any newcomer.
If anyone of you guys out there has some advice, don't hesitate.
I am just starting to change. you can change to.
First one must recognize what's wrong, then act accordingly.
If one were to seek professional help, who to go to?
greetz - the future DJ - on the rise.
------------------------------------------------------
"Erkenntnis ist der weg zur Besserung"
How can something like this happen`?
Well i have spent most of my life develloping my hobbies and recreational activities like composing music and doing artsy stuff.
Played in many bands. This is all great. One thing i didn't do was develop my physical appearance: (BIG MISTAKE!)
(People say I'm really good-looking though)
I weigh about 53kg(116lbs) and am 172cm tall. I have a very slim figure (maybe frighteningly slim, but not really sickly).
These physical factors contributed to my complex of not being "worthy" to the women I seek. I have very high standards concerning looks and figure when it comes to women and never really thought I myself could match these expectations, thus never approached women really. If i did, my moves greatly lacked self confidence. I'd always become childish or self-pitying or even belittle myself even more using self centered jokes- on the other hand always tried to play the romantic, highly emotional artsy guy with "great" interests and always very analytical when it came to social behavior of people in general...always philosophying about the purpose in this or that - also life in itself. Expecting people to love and approach me because of my unusual interests?
BIG MISTAKE!
My grave deficit: poor conversational skills. Flirting is difficult.
I display an earnest type of behavior whereby my discussions with women are very subject oriented and focussed on "interests" in general, or serious matters like the ones mentioned above, but sometimes, mistakenly emphasizing the fact that I dont know where I belong...since I have a very mixed ethnic background that has nothing to do with germany (my actual home).
TIP: DON't EVER DO THIS!
This always made me appear unstable and lacking a decent backbone. My backbone was music but obviously they never believe this.
All my friends have girlfriends though. This helped me draw myself into the hole of self pity. I wasted a lot of time trying to gain contacts through my friends and socializing with them a lot. --ended up never meeting new people, cause they always had their girlfriends with them. (The girlfriends LOVE to talk to me.)
MY friends were not interested in drawing new crowds. ...Dead end. Spent my whole high-school carreer with these guys. mostly because I play in a band with them. It may pay off someday though.
But hey guys: examine your surroundings. Can you meet new people if you continue to be in the circles your are currently in`?
Look at this closely and make changes.
Music was for me the only way of emphasizing my uniqueness to the community. Somehow this didn't cause the girls to run up to me and beg for dates though. For whatever reason.
Being a student in the science field is already a handicap.
It usually triggers the "yuck" reaction with girls and them remembering their horrible chemistry chapters they had to learn in school. One has to immediatly divert their attention to "positive things" - not an easy thing to do once that evil seed is planted.
There is not a day that goes by where i don'T think of how nice it would be to have a girlfriend to share my interests with. It's like a sickness: always longing for sexual nearness (ever since I was f*cking 11 years old - like being obsessed with women, but not showing it really).
Now this may sound pitiful, but I think every man has similar feelings. It's just so dehabilitating because it puts you under incredible stress the whole time.
How to get rid of this? DJ bible does offer some advice.
I am trying the gym. Three times a week. Muscle build-up.
Hoping I can gain self confidence.
But might there be more underlying factors that where not spoken of in the DJ-bible? i.e. upbringing?
Is all this sh*t worth a councellor or can it be alleviated by working out and practicing DJ-Bible-techniques?
One of my strengths is being very open and fair to myself and towards others as well. I can become very personal if i want to.
One question most guys have to face at my age (having zero experience with women) is... am i perhaps gay?
I have even thought of the possibility of me being gay.
My conclusion after analyzing my thoughts and behavior and comparing it to many examples:
This does not apply since I do not feel drawn towards men.
I do not enjoy touching them, neither do I enjoy being touched by them in any way, whereas if women only touch me I become aroused. I think they notice this but I can't help enjoying it.
Also I never dreamt of having sex with a man and kind of thought of it as being really disgusting and disturbed. sorry for bringing this up guys, but i think it's a fair question to ask.
Let's face it. if i don't improve I'll stay single for the rest of my life.
I highly recommend the dj bible to any newcomer.
If anyone of you guys out there has some advice, don't hesitate.
I am just starting to change. you can change to.
First one must recognize what's wrong, then act accordingly.
If one were to seek professional help, who to go to?
greetz - the future DJ - on the rise.
------------------------------------------------------
"Erkenntnis ist der weg zur Besserung"
