23 month relationship down in spirals...

[robinincarolina]

When a woman or a man for that matter says they have other things going on right now and can't be in a relationship, or maybe they say they need a break, or maybe the say they fear commitment, or the famous its not you its me, it means one thing. GOODBYE. Usually for good. It means I am going to see if the grass is greener on the other side, period.

I too went through this after a long commited relationship, there is only one way to go and that is NO CONTACT at all. It hurts, but it passes. Do like the others say, use this time to figure out some things about yourself, validate yourself. 30 to 60 days from the break up, you will see it in a different light. I too got a little bashing and I was in no contact, but I always answer the same way. "It just didn't work out". I have no need to defend myself like the others here say, these people are not your friends if they are believing her or participating in the bashing. Ignore them, they are not worth your time nor are they worth the space they are occupying in your mind.

 

[Paintballguy]

When a woman or a man for that matter says they have other things going on right now and can't be in a relationship, or maybe they say they need a break, or maybe the say they fear commitment, or the famous its not you its me, it means one thing. GOODBYE. Usually for good. It means I am going to see if the grass is greener on the other side, period.

Lol this is what I told my ex gf pretty much word for word. I just wasn't feeling it anymore, and it would be better for both of us to split.

 

[Axcell]

@ game.r/Cabal - Thanks for the posts, those were ALOT of help. I'm going to update my facebook status to that, and I have shut her out of my life now. Although for the first 2 weeks after the breakup I practically did everything wrong (started talking to her friends about it, trying to contact her, etc.) But it has been 2.5 weeks now without me contacting her or anybody about it. So I just hope not too much damage has been done. The "not talking to the ex" thing works, but only if done immediately, so I blew that.

I just find it so puzzling that as Cabal put it, she says she is no longer able to date me due to parental issues, and that she was busy the entire summer with stuff (that she didn't have too much time to spend with me), but managed to find time to chat up with this new guy, get over her 2 year old relationship in 1 month and find time for a relationship with someone else. Cabal your situation is LITERALLY mine. You convinced your girl to go to education (as a good deed), but it came out as a regret. She said she was VERY busy this summer, so I respected that and spent only a limited amount of time with her because after 2 years, you learn to become more understanding.

Ah well, its a learning experience. Thanks for all the posts guys!

@ slaog - Honestly, when we first started dating, all her friends in our social circle wanted me, but I chose her since she seemed like the best person (decent looking probably an HB7 at the time with a 9 for personality.) However, as we started dating, she turned into an HB8.5. Obviously when we started dating, I spent less time talking to those other girls (and those other girls obviously lost interest because I was now taken), and so I think she could have possibly lost interest in the fact that nobody was interested in me anymore?

Oh, and I recently found out that our MSN conversations for when we broke up (and I look a bit desperate in some of them), she emailed them to practically 1/3 of our social circle (about 10 people). I have so much blackmail on her, but if everyone here feels the best way is to just ignore it, brush it off, than I'll do just that.

@ Gamer - Going to follow all those steps EXACTLY.

More advice is appreciated! I keep getting more and more great tips.

 

[slaog]

Obviously when we started dating, I spent less time talking to those other girls (and those other girls obviously lost interest because I was now taken), and so I think she could have possibly lost interest in the fact that nobody was interested in me anymore?

Could be her growing up. The ages complicate things a little. Her friends knew you were off limits so they wouldn't try anything. That doesn't mean you were seen as being less attractive to them although at that young age people do tend to change their minds alot and are more influenced by what their peers think.


Could be her seeing more of your AFC side. Keep in mind people are controlled by their feelings. I'm guessing your ex saw a side of you she didn't like or maybe a side that was more AFC. Her feelings about you changed over time and went from positive to more negative and her friends picked up on that and that influenced them too. Once the good feelings stopped she lost interested and you were just another branch then.


Could be her becoming a bigger prize/higher value. Her new improved looks ment she was getting more attention from other men which in her mind makes her more of a prize.


Always judge women by their actions not their words. When you do this everything becomes alot clearer and you'll know straight away when something is wrong. So her saying she hadn't time etc was just excuses not to see you.


Its over with her but learn the lessons and go improve your inner self and in future you'll be the one in control of any relationship.

 

[Dante420]

I need to read this thread later tonight, this one looks good and pretty similar to mine.

I guess me and you both couldn't make it past the 23rd month huh?

 

[Cabal]

I think the problem is women want a bloke to fully commit and never look at another plate, and if he doesn't, she'll get insecure and leave him. But if you stop looking at other plates, they get ideas above their station that they can get someone more 'in demand' (because you are asinine, off market now to other girls) and leave you.

 

[Paintballguy]

I think the problem is women want a bloke to fully commit and never look at another plate, and if he doesn't, she'll get insecure and leave him. But if you stop looking at other plates, they get ideas above their station that they can get someone more 'in demand' (because you are asinine, off market now to other girls) and leave you.

This is why I can't be in a monogamous relationship. It just doesn't work out. Maybe its fine for AFC's who are in "love".

 

[eaglez1177]

Heres a simple lesson: DO NOT DATE HIGHSCHOOL CHICKS. They are emotional wrecks, cant be trusted, and do not have any of their sh*t together.

Im going to be a senior in highschool and even I have realized this. I see some girls around our school who have boyfriends in college, and by the things i've witnessed these girls do, I FEEL BAD for their boyfriends.