21 yr old virgin

Caesar20

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we definitely are... 21 here also and about to turn 22 in less then two weeks. :woo: :cheer:
never even tongue kissed, hold breasts in my hands and nothing. never been on a date and have a rare phenomena that i just quiet totally when in company of a girl (like in caffee w friends).

depression, sociophobia and alike all over the place, so i'm scheduled at psychiatrician early next month.:(
 

Freeman

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Originally posted by The_Shnitz
Hi,

I was just wondering if anyone else is in my situation here, im 21 years old and have never had a girlfriend. I have never even asked a girl out, ive hardly ever shown any interest towards any girl that i really liked.

Also, I have noticed that i seem to start to fancy girls that i get the feeling that they like me first, then i sort of obscess over them for a while, think about them every day n stuff and never make a move because i am so goddam shy, then i beat myself up over it.

I am quite an angry person and regually feel depressed. I really feel like if i could get laid my life would turn around, but at the same time i feel like im not getting laid because the first time needs to be with someone i actually like (not a random slut).

Im also worried that i have a small ****.

I have made out with random sluts, most of them quite ugly.

Any one else in or has been in my situation?

Whats the best way to deal with this?

sorry if i seem like im just moaning but my despondency it getting to me, i need some inspiration. I keep these thoughts inside constantly, i never tell people this stuff. The idea of having sex is so alien to me sometimes i wonder if people actually do have sex! I think i need to retrain my brain.

There's nothing wrong with being 21 and being a virgin..As much stuff thats going around who knows what you could catch. This aint the old days anymore-to survive you have to be smart-choose your partner carefully and always wear protection..
 

dice

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metalixico, i too go to school and i work in a restaurant of all places, like i said i am great at first impressions so i am succesful talking to customers. Although, thats about it for my social life. I've really made an effort to make friends, seizing every social invitation that I am invited to, but it seems like when im at a party i just go completely blank on how to talk to people. I've literally gotten so used to it I am able to come off like I am doing it on purpose, but Im sure most people see right through me. I think i just need some social experience. The kicker is im good looking, i drive a convertible, and i have a good job i just cant get it together in this one area.
 

undesputable

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i dont get it....how come there are millions of girls regularly having sex out there and there is rarely a reasonable good looking girl in her 20s thats a virgin, not to mention that the population between men and women is pretty much equal....

There are either way too many female virgins, or guys that get laid too much....and we know is not the first choice.

So girls are out there....there isnt just a world of virgins, its a world of sluts and if you think that getting laid will change your life then go ahead and actually view the world like if its full of sluts...which is not far from the truth anyways. Sex wont actually change your life, i think is overrated in that aspect but it will make you feel better about yourself.

and about your ****....there are too reasons men worry about their **** size...one is that theyre afraid theyre not going to please the girl, and the other one is that they might be embarrased. If you think youre not going to be able to please a girl as well as youd like to then practice eating a ***** out. they go wild over that **** and takes pressure off you during sex bc you know she had it. if youre embarrased, you wont give a **** after you rock her pvssy out with your tongue, and she wont either.
 

surrender83

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Hi. I'm in exactly the same boat as you except I'm a woman. I'll be 22 next month, I've not kissed in years and I'm still a virgin. I feel so insecure in the company of others(guys and girls) and as much as I try to be sociable, I become very quiet in the presence of people except my close friends . It doesn't help that I feel very insecure about my breast size. I'm only a 34A and I'm not petite/skinny either. Though people tell me I'm beautiful I can't help but feel insecure. I feel that I must either be rather unattractive or give off negative vibes becase whenever im out either with friends or alone, guys don't approach me:) and I don't have the courage to approach men due to an immense fear of rejection which would ultimately decrease my self esteem even more.

I work, go to college and every so often I go out with my friends, but that's where my life ends. What upsets me most is I just don't have the social skills to improve my situation. What's more I feel that any prospective boyfriend would be put off by my virginity and almost complete lack of sexual experience. I feel embarassed about my virginity and I feel that no guy would want to sleep with me. People also tell me I have a sweet/innocent look which probably doesn't help matters.

I feel like a freak when people constantly ask me why I have no boyfriend. My friends have had many relationships and have slept with around 20+ guys. I'm not looking for a ONS or anything like that and would like sex as part of a meaningful relationship where there is some sort of emotional connection but at this rate I can't see that happening anytime soon. :( .
So I know exactly where you're coming from I just thought I'd give you a girl's perspective. I'm going to find some groups/clubs to join to help myself get over this. I'd suggest you do the same. Most imprtantly as hard as it is, try to keep a positive outlook. Your mind is your most powerful tool, but sometimes it's your worst enemy.
 

surrender83

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BTW, I think guys have the upper hand on the size issue because no one can determine your penis size without intimacy, whereas for us ladies our breast size is on display.
 

aftershock

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More than a handfuls a waste:D. One of my favourite sayings, actually.

I'd rather have a 34A as chances are it means you are slim and good looking rather than a 44FF which probably means she's fat. Most guys would prefer a flat chested slim, good looking girl, to a fat munter.

You just need more confidence.

(Why the f**k am I talking to a woman like this? This isn't how I normally talk to women! "Aftershock treats woman like a human shocker")
 

KSoze

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You aren't the only one out there trust me. I was a virgin till I was 24yrs old. Before that I hadn't been on a date, only been kissed once. It felt good to lose it but then after awhile I stopped seeing the person and wished i hadn't have slept with them.
It was a waste, pointless. The only thing different is its not such a big deal.

Getting laid isn't going to make you happy bro, in fact it might make things worse under certain circumstances.
Try to find a woman you like, can respect, and actually have fun with...when that happens then get physical. But having a mission solely to just get laid will probably back fire on you; atleast it does my friends. All they think about is getting laid, macking on women and at end of all the BS they are alone.
Learn to enjoy a womans company, learn to listen to them, talk with them; then the sex will come and hopefully with somebody that is worth a damn.

PS I know a couple that were virgins until they got married at age 23. There sex life is insane, they are the kinkiest SOB's I know. All those years of frustration built up and now they are screwing each others brains out. The guy is one of the happiest people ive ever seen in my life. Too funny
 

Black_Italian

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Read the DJ bible and Double Your Dating (DYD). I recomend DYD its by a guy called Davi DeAngelo hes a genius
 

MikeyBoi

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I was exactly like you, The_Shnitz. I was afraid of dying a virgin, and I lost it one day before my twentieth birthday. You bet your arse I played the birthday card to chat up that girl.

What changed my life was seeing a psychiatrist and then seeing a therapist.

Flame away, brothers.

I knew I was an unhappy, bitter person, and hadn't a clue what to do about it. Thankfully my University has a very good student health program that covers psychiatry. In very little time I was given medication (which I am still on) for social anxiety.

It was as though the walls separating me from people were obliterated totally. I was not a social butterfly, nor am I currently--that takes practice--but I wasn't afraid anymore. I had this magical ability to use words to express myself around strangers and females.

And no, taking medication is not an "easy way out". This is because it is NOT a way out at ALL. The real "worK" is in teaching yourself new lessons and learning new ways of thinking, which is something you do in everyday life and with the help of a therapist (which by the way, insurance can also cover.) Medication simply ameliorates one's biochemical disadvantage.

It amazes me how negative so many people are about psychotropic drugs, particularly those similar to Prozac. These drugs do NOT make you a lethargic listless smiling zombie, and they do NOT take away who you are.

If you have a hard time talking to people and feel depressed often, it's worth a shot. Look into it.

And furthermore, I say OWN your virginity with confidence and enthusiasm.

Don't bring it up if you don't have to, but if a girl ends up asking you, it is MUCH better to divulge the truth with CONFIDENCE and a SMILE than seem ashamed and backed into a corner. If she asks why, just say it isn't the most important thing in your life, and you haven't met the right girl. And then on with the conversation. The important thing is that you are warm and comfortable with yourself. If you're not weird about it, she won't be, either.

End of rant.
 

bbestar

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Originally posted by KSoze
You aren't the only one out there trust me. I was a virgin till I was 24yrs old. Before that I hadn't been on a date, only been kissed once. It felt good to lose it but then after awhile I stopped seeing the person and wished i hadn't have slept with them.
It was a waste, pointless. The only thing different is its not such a big deal.

Getting laid isn't going to make you happy bro, in fact it might make things worse under certain circumstances.
Try to find a woman you like, can respect, and actually have fun with...when that happens then get physical. But having a mission solely to just get laid will probably back fire on you; atleast it does my friends. All they think about is getting laid, macking on women and at end of all the BS they are alone.
Learn to enjoy a womans company, learn to listen to them, talk with them; then the sex will come and hopefully with somebody that is worth a damn.

PS I know a couple that were virgins until they got married at age 23. There sex life is insane, they are the kinkiest SOB's I know. All those years of frustration built up and now they are screwing each others brains out. The guy is one of the happiest people ive ever seen in my life. Too funny
I love this post..lol
 

chance

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dunno about the whole "girls dont find virgins attractive"

i was 18. i lost my virginity to a married mother, 22 years old, bisexual ex model. if i remember right, she liked the fact that i was a virgin and chased me the whole time. i didn't need to do much. she just kept chasing and pulling all her moves on me. made the first kiss and all.

i believe some women/girls like the fact that they take someones virginity away. makes them feel good i guess.

oh and dice. don't get like that when you are left alone with a girl. they're human, just like you and i. treat her like one. she's just another pal alright? only she's a girl. no need to get all nervous and silent on her. don't think so hard.

don't mean to sound up myself but it's not that hard to get laid these days. it's YOU that's the problem. not the girls.
 
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