21 year old girl. Help me sort this out.

[Ackles]

So, I have been seeing this 21 year old girl. I'm 32 myself. She had a major crush on me about a year ago, always asking me to hang out. This was while she had a bf whom she claimed to love very much, though she made out with me and two other guys while they were togehter. Her and the bf break up, we hang out, have sex, then start hanging out pretty consistently over a few months. During this time she kept getting stronger and stronger feelings, up to the point she said she wanted to date.

This is where it gets weird. I tell her that we should try it out. 3 weeks later she says she jumped the gun and still has feelings for her ex so her and I should split up. three days after that we hang out, smash, and its like we were dating all over again. 3 weeks after that she says she needs space again. then 4 days later we are out with a mutual group of friends, both of us drinking, and shes all over me. we eventually smash that night, too, during of which she tells me she loves me, then backtracks saying she really cares about me. Then goes back to being cold but still maintaining contact.

We occassionally hang out here and there since then, made out a few times, but thats about it.

I could use some assistance in deciphering this behavior. Or just the behavior of a 21 year old in general. Anyone had experience dating younger women? Any tips, advice, opinions, or wisdom about that or my situation would be helpful.

 

[TheSplat]

It's not that she's a younger woman. It's that she doesn't understand boundaries.

Next.

 

[Desdinova]

The high score theory doesn't lie. Her ex is at the top, you're somewhere in the middle.

 

[Glumix]

I could use some assistance in deciphering this behavior.

I understand the urge of deciphering.
Though, I am starting to think that it's pretty much useless to even try.

Just ask yourself what YOU want, know who you are and your value.
You don't care what she wants. Judge on her actions.

If it's a LTR, then you already know what to expect from a girl like her. It's over.
She is young and imature and most probably going to grow older and imature.

If you don't give a **** then let her come, **** her, have some fun and that's all.

 

[Malcontent]

I did this for 2 years with the same things you are describing -- hot/cold, contact with ex, flirty behavior with any guy that showed her attention. The puzzy was amazing, but I was constantly on edge with everything else about her. I've never done any hard drugs, but being with her, I felt like I was a junkie. Euphoric highs and intense comedowns. A roller coaster. She may have been BPD or just highly immature. She was the worst-behaved gf I've ever had which taught me a lot of lessons.

I still am only attracted to the 18-25 range, but I think to expect stability and mature behavior is setting oneself up for pain. Hell, expecting maturity from any chick at any age is expecting a lot.

I remember asking myself one time: "Is this a relationship -- or a riddle?" I'm done with all the deciphering. Usually the truth is plain to see, but we just refuse to see because we want something else.

 

[AllDay85]

So, I have been seeing this 21 year old girl. I'm 32 myself. She had a major crush on me about a year ago, always asking me to hang out. This was while she had a bf whom she claimed to love very much, though she made out with me and two other guys while they were togehter. Her and the bf break up, we hang out, have sex, then start hanging out pretty consistently over a few months. During this time she kept getting stronger and stronger feelings, up to the point she said she wanted to date.

This is where it gets weird. I tell her that we should try it out. 3 weeks later she says she jumped the gun and still has feelings for her ex so her and I should split up. three days after that we hang out, smash, and its like we were dating all over again. 3 weeks after that she says she needs space again. then 4 days later we are out with a mutual group of friends, both of us drinking, and shes all over me. we eventually smash that night, too, during of which she tells me she loves me, then backtracks saying she really cares about me. Then goes back to being cold but still maintaining contact.

We occassionally hang out here and there since then, made out a few times, but thats about it.

I could use some assistance in deciphering this behavior. Or just the behavior of a 21 year old in general. Anyone had experience dating younger women? Any tips, advice, opinions, or wisdom about that or my situation would be helpful.

She's ****ing other guys. Accept it and enjoy that you smashed 21 year old buns in your 30's. Keep it up buddy. And ignore any thought of serious monogamy with a woman under 26.

 

[Colossus]

So, I have been seeing this 21 year old girl. I'm 32 myself.

^No sorting needed. Read that a few times.

 

[AllDay85]

^No sorting needed. Read that a few times.

Master stroke.

 

[Ackles]

^No sorting needed. Read that a few times.

Let's assume I'm clueless here and I need the point hammered into my head. Could you clarify?

 

[mrgoodstuff]

Let's assume I'm clueless here and I need the point hammered into my head. Could you clarify?

It's the age she's at. You can't take it too serious because you will be hurt. Their emotions fluctuate like the wind. Like you even said yourself, she "felt" this and that, she's onto the next guy 2 days after a breakup, hot/cold all that nonsense. The guys are saying to bang it if you can, that's all you can do.

 

[KingBeef]

She's ****ing other guys. Accept it and enjoy that you smashed 21 year old buns in your 30's. Keep it up buddy. And ignore any thought of serious monogamy with a woman under 26.

She's a young and immature low level plate. Use her for what she's good for and do not get emotionally attached. You have other options and you need to continuously pursue other plates (that will prevent you from worrying about one chick)...SHE SHOULD BE ONE OF MANY OPTIONS IN YOUR STABLE. But remember...at the first sign of her being annoying/headache...drop her...

 

[Ackles]

It's the age she's at. You can't take it too serious because you will be hurt. Their emotions fluctuate like the wind. Like you even said yourself, she "felt" this and that, she's onto the next guy 2 days after a breakup, hot/cold all that nonsense. The guys are saying to bang it if you can, that's all you can do.

Agreed. Confirmed last night she's sleeping with someone else. Not surprising but disappointing. Of course, all the signs were there that she has boundary issues. One in particular is that we would have sex and five minutes later she would text her ex bf something funny about her day. Eh, good to know I can nail women 11 years younger than me. Maybe I'll nail this one again somewhere down the road. She's kind of boring now when we hang out to eat or watch movies. She's just not all that interesting if we're not having sex.