20 yo hottie issues (update from older thread)

[MaddXMan]

My first thread about this girl was titled "oops embarrasing date w/ much younger girl." I am 38 she is 20.

Over a 4 week period, we flirted at work. She talked about us hanging out. She seemed to enjoy teasing me, I backed off. She resigned from the company, I told her she knows how to reach me.

So a few days later she texts a dirty joke, I make a funny reply, she writes "lol" and that's it.

Next day (this past Sunday) I get forwarded text survey asking to pick the items that I want her for. The choices were things like friend, relationship, sex, tounge, *****, etc. I choose all the nasty responses and said I would throw in a couple hours of foreplay, teach her some roleplay, etc.

She writes back "what kind of roleplay have you done"

This leads to a long convo about sex and what she has done and likes, I tell a little about me. I learn she is bi and has sex with more women than men.

This is jacked up - the time was right to invite her over, do something - but my 2 young kids were with me, and will be every night this week until Friday (I'm divorced, split custody).

So I can't do anything spontaneous. I could hook up with her if I could plan ahead a day or two. I think that if I ask to meet up with her over the weekend when I am kid free, she will tell me she already has plans.

I dunno - I think she wants me to take the lead in setting up something so she does not sound like a slvt.

I am resisting the urge to call her and start going over all the possible options - "are you free tonight??" "no." "How about tomorrow?? The weekend??" That is not smooth.

I think instead I will not contact her. When that happens she contacts me. Then I can turn the convo into meeting up.

I do think that sex with her should happen soon or she will lose interest. I love my kids but my custody situation keeps it impossible to do anything spur of the moment and I have had others lose interest due to my unavailability.

Any thoughts on how to play this??

 

[NewMan]

I am resisting the urge to call her and start going over all the possible options - "are you free tonight??" "no." "How about tomorrow?? The weekend??" That is not smooth.

You don't go through all possibilities. Tell her, let's meet up tonight for drinks - I know a great little place with a dark corner we can hide in:" - if she's busy you leave it at that. If she offers you an alternate night - then great - if not then move on.

I do think that sex with her should happen soon or she will lose interest

agreed

Any thoughts on how to play this??

yeah, call her up and tell her to meet you tonight. If you can't do it until next week, turn off your phone and stop replying to text messages. If you can't act on the openings she gives you - stop talking until you can - you will just come across as a guy who is not able/confident enough to ask her out.

 

[grinder]

Enjoy. It's impossible to lose in this situation. Your window is closing. Act.

 

[MaddXMan]

Enjoy. It's impossible to lose in this situation. Your window is closing. Act.

It seems that way. She said she hates drama and loves a low key and laid back vibe. But she's in my head again, and I want to bang her bad. I can't offer a laid back vibe if I would call her tonight.

I am seeing someone else but have only had a few traditional dates with this other. The 20 yo is offering something that rarely comes around. I could be banging 20 other chicks and would still want her. She exudes sexuality but does not want to keep babying me along and giving more chances. I need to act, but it has to be the right move!

 

[realsmoothie]

I need to act, but it has to be the right move!

No. It just has to be ANY move. Really. I've seen this from the young uns lately... they tag an older guy along just because they can, it's a power thing. If you're going to bang this girl, you just need to saddle up and do it without thinking about technicalities and the "right" way to do it.

Just my opinion. Not like I'm an expert in doing this myself... I can just see the patterns in your story.

Go for it, and have fun.

 

[MaddXMan]

Done. I know she never answers her phone but texts all the time (she is 20 haha) so I sent this: "Hey XXXXX! Come out with me Wed night, I'm in the mood to spoil you rotten. All you have to do is be looking cute."

I can make arrangements w/ at least a couple hours advance notice. We'll see if she wants to step up.

 

[Desdinova]

She said she hates drama and loves a low key and laid back vibe.

Women who tell you this are full of 5hit. ALL women love drama to some degree. Read her actions when it comes to this subject.

I sent this: "Hey XXXXX! Come out with me Wed night, I'm in the mood to spoil you rotten. All you have to do is be looking cute."

Very nice! You took the more aggressive approach to getting a date with her. Instead of asking permission to take her out, you invited her. It gives her less of a chance (or a reason) to say no. The only thing I would have done differently is use the phone.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

Ouch. I understand the 'older guy' vibe that younger chicks get off on, but NEVER tell a girl you want to 'spoil her rotten'. Other than this you've been playing your cards correctly. Consider the fact that your scarcity is increasing your value with her. If she is as sexy and "exudes" sexuality as you say, it's a good bet she's got a laundry list of other, younger, guys ready to throw themselves prostrate for her daily. You offer something her regular social group doesn't, your attention is a challenge to get. My advice would be not to chase her, but make her aware of your availability to her. Stay in your frame and make her come into it.

Also, bear in mind the best that you could hope for with a 20 y.o. like you've described is a "for now" kind of arrangement. If you do get after it with her, ride it for all it's worth and enjoy the experience, because it will be temporary at best.

 

[speed dawg]

I am 38 she is 20............a few days later she texts a dirty joke, I make a funny reply, she writes "lol" and that's it.........Next day (this past Sunday) I get forwarded text survey asking to pick the items that I want her for. The choices were things like friend, relationship, sex, tounge, *****, etc. I choose all the nasty responses and said I would throw in a couple hours of foreplay, teach her some roleplay, etc.......She writes back "what kind of roleplay have you done"

Dude, what the fukk are you doing? You're 38....stop texting. Cut that sh1t out. Quit playing dumb games and act like your mature and in control. Not flaming, but I was fukking a 21 year old and this 36 year old guy texted her all the time and we made fun of him, esp. when he texted after I just got done nutting all over her. I NEVER text with girls unless I'm in a meeting or something legit. That same 21 year old girl tried texting me alot but I called her up and said to quit that sh1t bc it costs me 10cents a text and called her on her insecurity. and it worked.

Man don't sweat these young chicks. Nothing worse than a mature older guy that could be a dynamic force with women, but rather goes AFC and gets strung out by a teenie bopper.

That 36 year old I referenced.....dude caught his wife in bed with his best friend, took her back, then she ended up leaving. To this day he kisses every girl's ass he sees thinking he's cool. The reason I say is just that it's all AFC in every facet of life......DON'T BE THAT GUY, his success rate is around 10% I'd say....I know him well.....

 

[MaddXMan]

Thanks for the replies - the "spoil you" part was in reference to the sex convo we had earlier - and what I like to do. She knew what I meant.

She replied "I can't go out Wed nite! "

Me: "Lol after getting this man all worked up you have to say that. Cool, another time then."

Her: "you just want to see me butt naked."

Me: "sad butt true."

Her: "But I can't do that."

Me: "Really? Too bad - it's all in fun and we're both grown (sort of)"

Her: "I guess I'm officially in a relationship now. We could still chill "

Me: "Hold up, I'm getting off this text and calling u."

So we talked. Her "unofficial boyfriend" threw a jealous fit because she was talking about me. I could tell it didn't sound like what she wanted but didn't press it. Add the fact that over the last 2 weeks she has appeared stress and not feeling well. I just played it cool and busted on her. She said she still wants to "chill" with me but no sex. I said maybe we will, maybe we won't, I'm kinky but teasing and denial is not my thing.

No worries. I just need to wait until this relationship of her hits the rocks again and she will contact me.

 

[Desdinova]

Her "unofficial boyfriend" threw a jealous fit because she was talking about me.

Hahaha, gotta love that.

She said she still wants to "chill" with me but no sex. I said maybe we will, maybe we won't, I'm kinky but teasing and denial is not my thing.

Refuse to "chill" with her. That's what friends do. But keep yourself open to her when she's all done playing the part of obedient housewife. You can tell that she's not completely happy to be in a LTR with this guy, so play "hard to get" until she's done making this AFC miserable. Then reward her for making you the ultimate choice.

 

[NewMan]

Refuse to "chill" with her. That's what friends do. But keep yourself open to her when she's all done playing the part of obedient housewife. You can tell that she's not completely happy to be in a LTR with this guy, so play "hard to get" until she's done making this AFC miserable. Then reward her for making you the ultimate choice.

Yes, yes, yes.

 

[NewMan]

Her "unofficial boyfriend" threw a jealous fit

Then tell her you will be her "Unofficial Fvck buddy"

 

[speed dawg]

Don't "chill" unless it's on your terms. If she agrees to your terms, she wants more than to just "chill".

Lucky for you, your opposition is a total AFC. Haha, he got pissed when she mentioned you? That's a typical sh1t test, huh? Just remember, everything she's doing to that guy, she'll be doing to you, too. Observe and be ready.

 

[Vulpine]

Then tell her you will be her "Unofficial Fvck buddy"

It's unanimous! Don't chill with her. Cut contact after something along these lines:

"Good luck with your bf, then. Call me when you wanna get your little booties knocked."

I got what you meant about "spoil you rotten". You meant, with the "treatment" in the sack. Good job with the "gotta look cute" condition. When you picked her up, you could've went with the "Nope, sorry, not cute enough - no spoiling for you!" to keep her qualifying herself.

 

[cordoncordon]

I think your wasting your time.

 

[grinder]

She's now third string, check on her once a month, if that much. Show no interest. Hope you have 1st and 2nd strings?

 

[MaddXMan]

She's now third string, check on her once a month, if that much. Show no interest. Hope you have 1st and 2nd strings?

Let's see - one string just blew me off hard tonight when I called her to set up a weekend date, silly wench. She's hot but a flake.

I got a number last Saturday nite from a cute 33 yo alternative chick - but I was so wasted I punched her number only into my phone and not her name and now can't remember her name for the life of me. She is in a band and told me to come to this bar they are playing at July 27th, so I might do that if I can drag some of my friends off the sofa! If not, I can handle going alone.

Luckily, I was introduced to a new potential circle of friends recently who are very social - but, they party hard. My night out with them resulted in weed, speed, valium, beer and tequila shots. Whoa!!!!!

 

[grinder]

This is "new thread" worthy, as, you won't see this in the (or any) bible: BUT; although driving and chemicals don't mix, chicks CAN AND DO. As long as you can keep your sh*t together. When you said "alternative chick", I hope you meant piercings in interesting places and not "hermaphordidic". LOL

You know what to do; when you wake up with some chick on you and your actually not sure where you are, and, even though she puked on your best MotorHead shirt, don't get mad, get her name and number before either you or she runs out the door.

 

[MaddXMan]

20 yo called my cell this morning at work to get my work number, she was applying for another job and was going to put me as a reference (I am in mgt). Huh??

Me: So you still must wanna just "chill", eh?

Her: Sure.

Me: Ok then, but over at my place sometime with some movies. Just remember I'm a sensitive guy and you can't go jumping my bones.

Her: laughs. Ok, but I don't think you have to worry about me jumping on you.

Me: Later then.

WTF? Why would she "chill" over at my place. I already told her during our convo Tuesday night that if we ever "chilled" and she didn't want to get down then she better learn how to box because she would be fighting me off. What would her "jealous" boyfriend think about her at my place??

Ahhhhhhh, I get it! She wants her cake and eat it too. Keep me cooling on the side for when things go south with bf, then she gets attention from me while she lines up something else. Still why would she agree to come to my house.

Fvck it - here I was again going around and around in my head over someone who has given me a tiny bit of happiness, and a lot of confusion. With that thought, I deleted her number from my cell.

I shoulda said what Vulpine suggested: "Good luck with your bf, babe. Call me when you want that bootie knocked."

Course, I didn't think of that until after, dammit.

I'm done stressing over this flaky chick.