2 years later, my test has arrived. Advice appreciated.

[DunSweat]

I have been roaming around SS for a couple of years now and I like to think that I have developed leaps and bounds thanks to some of the great info found here.

I was in a messy relationship 2 years ago and got dumped. I quickly saw why and how I got nexted so easily by that woman. I have now been dating a woman for 8 months now and first 7 months were great but past couple weeks she has been giving me sh1t tests. The first one resulted in me telling her that she was rude and disrespectful to which she said well go find another girl so I stopped speaking to her and did my own thing for a week which drove her crazy and she came back begging. I told her that I would not accept rudeness from her and she apologized.

Now a week later we got into an argument about some male friends of hers who I heard talking sh1t about her and basically she said I was stirring sh1t and went off at me. I told her about what they were saying because she believes she's like a saint who no one would ever think ill of but regardless - she raised her voice really loudly at me, said I was a liar and said continually spoke over me. I ended up saying okay, you want to yell and call me a liar that's your choice but my choice is not to speak with someone who speaks with such filth and I said bye.

Next day I was shopping and bumped into her and had a chat about what happened. I told her that she was rude again second time in a matter of weeks and she said well you really made me upset and I cried all night. I said that her crying is her own issue because I just told her what others were saying about her and like a coward, she took it out on me. She started smiling and said she was happy to have seen me but I felt a lot of tension and uncertainty.

That was two days ago and we haven't spoken since. I don't want to cheat on her, don't want to break no contact yet but will have to this weekend to make my decision. I don't want to leave it up to her. Can you guys give me some advice?

She is generally a great find but these last two episodes have made me think.

 

[sylvester the cat]

I would have left her at: 'well go find another girl' and never looked back.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Every relationship has problems and you handled them in the best way I could think of. Idk why people here at Sosuave believe that a woman emotionally outbursting equals a must next.

Women are emotional, sometimes they're gonna spazz and if you handle it like a strong leading take- no-shīt man like your supposed to. Then it will do nothing but make her love you more and make her panties wetter for you.

So give her another chance but only it YOU truly want to.

As long as she doesn't make these outbursts a constant habit then I don't see the problem.

 

[mangotot]

Once is bad but twice is criminal. Leave her go find yourself a woman who is not rude and will not talk over you.

 

[DunSweat]

Every relationship has problems and you handled them in the best way I could think of. Idk why people here at Sosuave believe that a woman emotionally outbursting equals a must next.

Women are emotional, sometimes they're gonna spazz and if you handle it like a strong leading take- no-shīt man like your supposed to. Then it will do nothing but make her love you more and make her panties wetter for you.

So give her another chance but only it YOU truly want to.

As long as she doesn't make these outbursts a constant habit then I don't see the problem.

I too believe that some here are too quick to suggest nexting, sometimes I wonder if they actually live by their advice. I have had girls that I've not given two hoots about and sure, I nexted them even for little to no reason just because I couldn't be bothered talking to them or wanted to focus on something else but when you're in a relationship, there needs to be a set of factors to next a girl.

How should I confront this though?

 

[DunSweat]

Once is bad but twice is criminal. Leave her go find yourself a woman who is not rude and will not talk over you.

Do women like that exist? I have found that the only women who were never really rude to me were girls I was just thumping and dumping but any relationship I've been in, girls have cried, yelled and then said sorry.

I think it's how often they do it and why they do it that's key.

 

[SmooveMooves]

Do women like that exist? I have found that the only women who were never really rude to me were girls I was just thumping and dumping but any relationship I've been in, girls have cried, yelled and then said sorry.

I think it's how often they do it and why they do it that's key.

No, women like that don't exist, only doormats come like that.

Your spot on mate. If these guys are really nexting GFs as fast as they say, I'd imagine they aren't holding quality LTRS very long, or for that matter and chick worth holding on to.

It's just as you said, females that you're involved with seriously, scream, yell and cry.

As for confronting it, I'd say you already did. When you met in the store didn't she apologize? You expressed your dislike of her behavior and demonstrated how quickly she can lose you. She'll contact you again sooner or later, and if you want to give her another chance depends solely on you own judgement.

Good luck bro.

 

[christoff522]

Do women like that exist? I have found that the only women who were never really rude to me were girls I was just thumping and dumping but any relationship I've been in, girls have cried, yelled and then said sorry.

I think it's how often they do it and why they do it that's key.

The truth is you don't have the abundance mentality. The more 'into her' you are the more she will be able to disrespect you. To be a fully realised masculine man, you have to understand that you can have any woman you want. You have oneitis, you can't see beyond that relationship. The guys here are trying to let you realise this.

Imagine this, you can have any girl you like, you can go into town and find some hot babe and have sex with her, or even have a new relationship just like that *clicks finger* - would you be sitting there ruminating about what to do next with this girl, worrying that cos its been two days since you talked shes moved on? Why are you worrying about what move to make? Is she such a great catch? Maybe your mindset is whats causing her to disrespect you? Maybe she senses that you're insecure, maybe she senses you're a people pleaser.

You need to work on that..and not try to work on a relationship where the girl is treating you like shlt.

 

[DunSweat]

The truth is you don't have the abundance mentality. The more 'into her' you are the more she will be able to disrespect you. To be a fully realised masculine man, you have to understand that you can have any woman you want. You have oneitis, you can't see beyond that relationship. The guys here are trying to let you realise this.

Imagine this, you can have any girl you like, you can go into town and find some hot babe and have sex with her, or even have a new relationship just like that *clicks finger* - would you be sitting there ruminating about what to do next with this girl, worrying that cos its been two days since you talked shes moved on? Why are you worrying about what move to make? Is she such a great catch? Maybe your mindset is whats causing her to disrespect you? Maybe she senses that you're insecure, maybe she senses you're a people pleaser.

You need to work on that..and not try to work on a relationship where the girl is treating you like shlt.

The truth is for the first year of DJing I did exactly what you mentioned, behaved and basically lived like I could have any woman. I was getting numbers, dates and sleep overs regularly and these women were shallow and not worth thinking twice about. But there comes a time, for my values anyway, where you should alter your behaviour and outlook on a woman and life. The principles of being a DJ remain but seriously, if I acted the same as I did with the root and boot girls I would never be in a serious relationship.

I totally agree with you on the fact that when my girlfriend started feeling as if I was really committed to her that she became a little more care free. I guess it's really a skill to be in a serious loving relationship while always having the one up.

 

[Zarky]

An "abundance mentality" can only be faked for so long. After awhile you'll lose it if you don't actually have abundance.

That's why you should be constantly prospecting for new women.

A guy with one girlfriend who isn't dating other girls OR who isn't actively cultivating female orbiters does not have abundance.

 

[hudpes]

She has shown aggressiveness and a lack of stability, self control and respect for you 8 months in, imagine how she would be like 2-3 years in.

It all depends on where you want to end up with her. If you want to marry her and have a family, then she's a big no.

If you want to have good time in a light hearted relationship, she's a no.

If you're quite happy spending sexy time with her, not expecting too much, she's a maybe. Occasional fallouts followed by make up sex, it's good.

What twists my noodle though, is that her reactions leave me with an impression that she wants out of the relationship, but she's in a very early stage and is looking for ways that you make yourself dirty, so she can point her finger. So far, you have denied her that, the only small weakness you've shown is you let her come back and she can't work with that. Can you take it as an experiment on her and a training for yourself? Then proceed, let her come back, and keep acting like a man. Keep us posted.

 

[SoSuave666]

What twists my noodle though, is that her reactions leave me with an impression that she wants out of the relationship, but she's in a very early stage and is looking for ways that you make yourself dirty, so she can point her finger. So far, you have denied her that, the only small weakness you've shown is you let her come back and she can't work with that. Can you take it as an experiment on her and a training for yourself? Then proceed, let her come back, and keep acting like a man. Keep us posted.

Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner. When the fights pop up and disrespect is being shown repetitively, she is looking for a way OUT. She's in the early stages of this process, but sooner or later she will break up with you because you "just don't care enough about her" or you "don't love her enough."

Women are so caught up with themselves and beta men who do not set boundaries and/or have standards that when they FINALLY meet an alpha male, they will do everything in their power to turn him beta. And when they realize they can't do that they will start fights, trying to break you down to beta-dom. When that doesn't work, they will dump you for "not caring."

Make no mistake that YEARS down the line, these women will be secretly fantasizing about your c0ck and have NO idea why. It's best now to get out of the relationship on YOUR terms.

 

[DunSweat]

She has shown aggressiveness and a lack of stability, self control and respect for you 8 months in, imagine how she would be like 2-3 years in.

It all depends on where you want to end up with her. If you want to marry her and have a family, then she's a big no.

If you want to have good time in a light hearted relationship, she's a no.

If you're quite happy spending sexy time with her, not expecting too much, she's a maybe. Occasional fallouts followed by make up sex, it's good.

What twists my noodle though, is that her reactions leave me with an impression that she wants out of the relationship, but she's in a very early stage and is looking for ways that you make yourself dirty, so she can point her finger. So far, you have denied her that, the only small weakness you've shown is you let her come back and she can't work with that. Can you take it as an experiment on her and a training for yourself? Then proceed, let her come back, and keep acting like a man. Keep us posted.

I think my roadblock is here that I have NEVER been with a girl who hasn't shown instability and lack of control at some point in the relationship. I do know however that once they really felt comfortable in doing that, they displayed that kind of behaviour more frequently.

Do you guys think it's too late to say, okay this is the last time you flare up like this because if you have an issue with something then there is always time to speak about real concerns but do not do this again blah blah...?

I know it is oneitis-like but I don't know if there are ANY women out there who don't put up sh1t tests like this.

 

[DunSweat]

Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner. When the fights pop up and disrespect is being shown repetitively, she is looking for a way OUT. She's in the early stages of this process, but sooner or later she will break up with you because you "just don't care enough about her" or you "don't love her enough."

Women are so caught up with themselves and beta men who do not set boundaries and/or have standards that when they FINALLY meet an alpha male, they will do everything in their power to turn him beta. And when they realize they can't do that they will start fights, trying to break you down to beta-dom. When that doesn't work, they will dump you for "not caring."

Make no mistake that YEARS down the line, these women will be secretly fantasizing about your c0ck and have NO idea why. It's best now to get out of the relationship on YOUR terms.

So how do we keep a relationship then? Being a beta makes them lose interest, being an alpha makes them leave, being a friend puts us in the friends zone... I know that many women are not worth the time but I am a man who wants to get married and have a family. There are certain concessions people have to make to make that happen but one of those definitely shouldn't involve losing our b@lls neither should it be to allow a woman to disrespect you.

I know my girl has betas floating around her, just like most attractive or even semi attractive women anyway. Two years ago, that would have bothered the hell out of me thinking some beta will swoop in when I leave but I know that it will only mess her up mentally if she does do that and give me extra push to know she was never worth it so it's win win for me.

 

[Thundernuts]

OP.

Your doing good man. You've stood your ground and you backed up what you said. This girl knows your willing to walk away.

It might be a test, or she might have been really upset. She is a woman, they aren't very good with self control so you need to just accept that.

Do you want to give her another chance or do you want to end it. Your the one with the power in this relationship so do whatever you want to.

 

[El Payaso]

Here is my advice on what you should do right now.

Start prospecting other women. The moment you start feeling like prospecting other women is cheating is the moment you lose. You are letting her ***** whip and abuse you under the label of a "relationship".

What you did the first time is nice. Do NOT break contact with her. Simply assume that things are done between you two and start prospecting other women. If you send her a breakup notice, she will only move on faster. Women cannot live without closure.

By simply ignoring her and dating other women, her mind will run into overdrive and try to connect with you again. Keep your replies short and take a long time to respond. If she asks what you're doing or asks to come over, simply give subtle hints that you're with another woman. Say stuff like "I can't come. I promised to help a friend with some schoolwork around 11pm."

If she's still interested, you have to make her really work to get back into your good graces.

 

[mikey2012]

Dump her a$$ and find another. She's turning whack.

 

[mikey2012]

Ding Ding Ding! We have a winner. When the fights pop up and disrespect is being shown repetitively, she is looking for a way OUT. She's in the early stages of this process, but sooner or later she will break up with you because you "just don't care enough about her" or you "don't love her enough."

Women are so caught up with themselves and beta men who do not set boundaries and/or have standards that when they FINALLY meet an alpha male, they will do everything in their power to turn him beta. And when they realize they can't do that they will start fights, trying to break you down to beta-dom. When that doesn't work, they will dump you for "not caring."

Make no mistake that YEARS down the line, these women will be secretly fantasizing about your c0ck and have NO idea why. It's best now to get out of the relationship on YOUR terms.

Spot on. They will try to turn you into beta. If you comply you will be dumped. If you don't you will be dumped. Stay away from these whackos. It will just get uglier.

 

[mikey2012]

So how do we keep a relationship then? Being a beta makes them lose interest, being an alpha makes them leave, being a friend puts us in the friends zone... I know that many women are not worth the time but I am a man who wants to get married and have a family. There are certain concessions people have to make to make that happen but one of those definitely shouldn't involve losing our b@lls neither should it be to allow a woman to disrespect you.

I know my girl has betas floating around her, just like most attractive or even semi attractive women anyway. Two years ago, that would have bothered the hell out of me thinking some beta will swoop in when I leave but I know that it will only mess her up mentally if she does do that and give me extra push to know she was never worth it so it's win win for me.

Dude nothing wrong with getting married but she AINT marriage material. If you get with her you will be in deeper cr@p later. I dealt with these whacks before. It will only get worse.'

There may or may not be women out there that maybe the same but why stick with this one. Her behaviour wont get better.

 

[SoSuave666]

So how do we keep a relationship then? Being a beta makes them lose interest, being an alpha makes them leave, being a friend puts us in the friends zone... I know that many women are not worth the time but I am a man who wants to get married and have a family. There are certain concessions people have to make to make that happen but one of those definitely shouldn't involve losing our b@lls neither should it be to allow a woman to disrespect you.

I know my girl has betas floating around her, just like most attractive or even semi attractive women anyway. Two years ago, that would have bothered the hell out of me thinking some beta will swoop in when I leave but I know that it will only mess her up mentally if she does do that and give me extra push to know she was never worth it so it's win win for me.

You've got to screen very carefully for good women. The problem is, until you get exclusive with a woman, she will have a mask up--at least most of the time they will. She will be putting her best foot forward, not showing you her true colors.

Being an alpha isn't all about setting boundaries and being firm and unyieldinng. There is give and take in healthy relationships, but at the end of the day you need to be the head of the house. If she is disrespecting you then you must be willing to walk away. If she dumps you, you must be willing to walk away and not beg. There's absolutely 0 shame in being dumped or dumping someone else. Women are so fickle that they will dump you for seemingly no reason and seamlingly out of the blue. But just know that they have been thinking about the breakup for probably anywhere from 2 weeks to 2 months.

In order to keep a good girl you must act like a man, but be willing to compromise on issues to appease your girlfriend's feminine imperative. This means being able to show some emotional affection in a STABLE way. Showing love in a way that a proper MAN would. These things will meet your girlfriend's need for attention while also allowing you to keep your frame. You can't just treat your girlfriend like you would treat your guy friends and expect everything to be ok.