hello fellow djs. its been a while since I visited the forum. doesnt seem that necessary anymore. here lies a part of my story, the part which so suave dealt with partially. I want you to tell me what you think of the path I have ended in and perhaps offer me advice as wether you think Im on the right way or not. here it is:
I started as a 17 year old kid back in december of 2001. I was obssesed with becoming successful with women and got severly depressed a lot of times cause I just could not figure why I was striking out so much with girls. especially since I considered myself to be a great catch. I started browsing the internet for ingfo and came up with so suave in a few weeks.
I investigated other sources as well and most agreed on the concepts which ss promotes. I began reading the bible and stopped telling everyone I saw how bad I was doing with girls.
you see i was never a total afc. just a month before I began investigating the net and came up with so suave I had gone on a date and made out with a girl nearly 6 years my senior. a junior in college. I was a junior in highschool. I had had a couple of girlfriends, not absolute hotties but cute. I did not find it difficult to talk to girls including cute ones, except of course for a few ones I considered absolutely georgeous. and several girls found me attractive. Im not drop dead georgeous but you can safely say I am a bit above average.
anyway, at that time I had had physical sexual contact (in varying degrees that went from kissing to oral sex) with 13 or 14 girls. I could have had more but rejected some because of logical reasons (like I didnt find them attractive) and others who were cute because of plain stupidity (thinking I could do better eventhough the girls were hot and caring too much about what people would say when they saw me with them, god I was so dumb.). a lot has happened in this 2 years but to make a long story short for the sake of the readers (ergo you) I will state how I started, whichI already did and how I find myself at the present moment.
I gotta start by saying that I still havent gotten a girlfriend (the last one was over 3 years ago) and very few girls have been truly attracted to me since I found ss. I have now made out with 22 or 23 girls. not all of them cute, but not all of them beauties. none I have really found incredebly beautiful though.
at first I found myself obssesed with ss and spending a lot of time reading on the net. I applied the concepts literally and did not question any concepts. the first 2 or 3 months I dated a lot and got a lot of phonenumbers but I never called any of those girls back for a second date (they didnt seem to interested anyway) but did take note of my mistakes and have always done so since then. after that I decided dating was a waste of my time and decided I coukld do better more prodductive stuff with my time. I also started going to the gym and excersising on a daily basis. I concentrated on my hobbies. but I was still obssesed with ss and wated a lot of time on the forum. still I was terribly unsuccesful with girls. I dated ocassionally but nothing ever came out of that. things kept going like this until the begginings of 2003 when I truly began excersising religiously and working on my hobbies (such as playing guitar) religiously everyday. I was also going through my last semester in high school a school where I was already highly labeled as well. I tried during that last semester with a few girls who were clearly below my league (I dont mean to sound concieted but youd know what i mean if u knew them) but I was just played for a fool by them. same old story. one of them told me once while having a chat "you are everything I want to be but Im to lazy to become". what do you think that means? I took it as a compliment but I think she meant it as an insult. anyway... the story goes on.
I practiced cold approaches and becme good at them eventhough I rarely do them unless the girls seems interesting and there is a mutual topic we can discuss (art galleries are great for these). I also became very good at getting numbers. the follow up after that was my main problem. I called them, a brief 5 minute call, set the date up and got stood up so many many many times guys.
and I was still being percieved as a nice guy eventhough i didnt participate in any of the afcs behavior patterns. a couple of girls told me I was really sweet and nice and bla bla bla. I could not undertsand why.
but the most interesting thig became this. as time moven on, I started becoming less concerned with girls, how to get them and what they wanted and more concerned with what i wanted and with my hobbies. my main interest became growing as a musician and visits to so suave on the net were replaced by visits to wholenote and taborama. I started to think that there was no need for me to worry. that there was no need for me to make an effort. I just had to concentrate on my music, keep growing musically, keep working out, keep growing as a human being and eventually girls would notice me. they would notice a guy who was into doing his thing and he loved it, felt a passion about it and about life and then they would come naturally. and not only girls but exactly the kind of girls I am interested in. simple, kind cute, artistic intelligent girls who would be with me just for the pleasure of my company. thats exactly what I needed.
and by keeping into my hobbies I was directing my energy into producing something rewarding and pleasurable instead of just drowining myself in the forums of ss full of despair trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. somewhere between march and june of 2003 I realized I just didnt care enough about that anymore. cause I was doing nothing wrong. I was myself and i like who I am. and if a girl wasnt into me it wasnt because I had done a specific thing or said something. It was simply beacuase our esscences were not compatible. so there was no reason to blame myself. instead I puyt my energy into my music and became convinced and I am to this day as well that it doesnt really matter because I have a band now. a band in which the guys are great and we get along real good and in which I am the lead singer and ione of the guitar players. and basically instead of wasting my time in individual dates, which despite all the benfits gained from the knowledge at ss still give me stress and tension, I need to gorw musically and rehearse with my band.
cause when I am playing at a gig and we are sounding great and people are applauding girls will come. and if they dont I dont even care. thats the thing. I just stopped caring. what i really want now is not to be a don juan but to be a great rockand roll musician. you could say that my priorities changed.
of course I still get nostalgic and sad at times when I think ofhow long I have been without the company of a girl that cares aboutme and who I am. and about how I do perhaps in a way lack the game to pursue the hot girls I really want. after all Im not a natural player macho type bad boy sweating sex appeal and feromnes wherever I go. still I am far from being a wimpy type who gets pushed around by anyone, especially women.
I guess cincerning girls, Im just a regular guy who really does not undesrtand the behavioral patterns of a woman magnet, but is lucky enough to have a guitar and a talent to help him get that missing sex appeal.
the great thing is now when we start doing gigs Ill have a reason to do cold approaches all the time. Ill print flyers of the gig and approach any hot girl I see and give them flyers and some migh show up and watch me do my thing on stage and walla, I already know them, my status is high thanks to the band performing and the way is set for a future date and best , it all seems extremely casual.
the other day I gave a ride to one of the few girls I have really found myself to be attracted to in the last few months. lauren, a short blonde american girl kinda chubby but very pretty. very my type. I saw her walking home from school and turned around and geave her a ride home. although I didnt know her or her name we chatted a bit but could not see where she lived cause she told me to drop her on the corner of her street. asking for a phone number would have been odd and obvious. invitingher to a gig (if I had had one would havce been not) and better yet inviting her to a gig, giving her the flyer but telling her the date or something isnt completley set yet so give me you number so I can tell you where its going to be kinda thing. anyway. when I got back home only knowing her name but not her number por address I felt really bad and nearly cried. dont really know why. at least I went and pciked her up. maybe my old self wouldnt have had the balls to do that. but still I felt as if she was so out of my reach. I felt like I was so out of her league. I knew it was stupid but I felt that way. I cant explain why. I felt like so inferior. I felt like only the macho player who used women types coud get her. that that was all women wanted.
nevertheless as soon as I recover and we get a gig Im going to her school, Im going to find her and Im going to do my thing and hopefully she ll show up because you always have to try. you can never give up. I will find my women. I will have my share of cute artistic girls. I plan to work out everyday for the rest of my life and have a family until Im like 45 so I have plenty of time for them. Id say the main thing that changed was that Im a lot more focused and centered. I worry and think about girls a lot less now.
I expect your responses. the longer the response the better. I want to know your opinions on my 2 year journey and where I am at at this point in my life. Ill appreciate suggestions and feedback . I wish you all the best.
I started as a 17 year old kid back in december of 2001. I was obssesed with becoming successful with women and got severly depressed a lot of times cause I just could not figure why I was striking out so much with girls. especially since I considered myself to be a great catch. I started browsing the internet for ingfo and came up with so suave in a few weeks.
I investigated other sources as well and most agreed on the concepts which ss promotes. I began reading the bible and stopped telling everyone I saw how bad I was doing with girls.
you see i was never a total afc. just a month before I began investigating the net and came up with so suave I had gone on a date and made out with a girl nearly 6 years my senior. a junior in college. I was a junior in highschool. I had had a couple of girlfriends, not absolute hotties but cute. I did not find it difficult to talk to girls including cute ones, except of course for a few ones I considered absolutely georgeous. and several girls found me attractive. Im not drop dead georgeous but you can safely say I am a bit above average.
anyway, at that time I had had physical sexual contact (in varying degrees that went from kissing to oral sex) with 13 or 14 girls. I could have had more but rejected some because of logical reasons (like I didnt find them attractive) and others who were cute because of plain stupidity (thinking I could do better eventhough the girls were hot and caring too much about what people would say when they saw me with them, god I was so dumb.). a lot has happened in this 2 years but to make a long story short for the sake of the readers (ergo you) I will state how I started, whichI already did and how I find myself at the present moment.
I gotta start by saying that I still havent gotten a girlfriend (the last one was over 3 years ago) and very few girls have been truly attracted to me since I found ss. I have now made out with 22 or 23 girls. not all of them cute, but not all of them beauties. none I have really found incredebly beautiful though.
at first I found myself obssesed with ss and spending a lot of time reading on the net. I applied the concepts literally and did not question any concepts. the first 2 or 3 months I dated a lot and got a lot of phonenumbers but I never called any of those girls back for a second date (they didnt seem to interested anyway) but did take note of my mistakes and have always done so since then. after that I decided dating was a waste of my time and decided I coukld do better more prodductive stuff with my time. I also started going to the gym and excersising on a daily basis. I concentrated on my hobbies. but I was still obssesed with ss and wated a lot of time on the forum. still I was terribly unsuccesful with girls. I dated ocassionally but nothing ever came out of that. things kept going like this until the begginings of 2003 when I truly began excersising religiously and working on my hobbies (such as playing guitar) religiously everyday. I was also going through my last semester in high school a school where I was already highly labeled as well. I tried during that last semester with a few girls who were clearly below my league (I dont mean to sound concieted but youd know what i mean if u knew them) but I was just played for a fool by them. same old story. one of them told me once while having a chat "you are everything I want to be but Im to lazy to become". what do you think that means? I took it as a compliment but I think she meant it as an insult. anyway... the story goes on.
I practiced cold approaches and becme good at them eventhough I rarely do them unless the girls seems interesting and there is a mutual topic we can discuss (art galleries are great for these). I also became very good at getting numbers. the follow up after that was my main problem. I called them, a brief 5 minute call, set the date up and got stood up so many many many times guys.
and I was still being percieved as a nice guy eventhough i didnt participate in any of the afcs behavior patterns. a couple of girls told me I was really sweet and nice and bla bla bla. I could not undertsand why.
but the most interesting thig became this. as time moven on, I started becoming less concerned with girls, how to get them and what they wanted and more concerned with what i wanted and with my hobbies. my main interest became growing as a musician and visits to so suave on the net were replaced by visits to wholenote and taborama. I started to think that there was no need for me to worry. that there was no need for me to make an effort. I just had to concentrate on my music, keep growing musically, keep working out, keep growing as a human being and eventually girls would notice me. they would notice a guy who was into doing his thing and he loved it, felt a passion about it and about life and then they would come naturally. and not only girls but exactly the kind of girls I am interested in. simple, kind cute, artistic intelligent girls who would be with me just for the pleasure of my company. thats exactly what I needed.
and by keeping into my hobbies I was directing my energy into producing something rewarding and pleasurable instead of just drowining myself in the forums of ss full of despair trying to figure out what I was doing wrong. somewhere between march and june of 2003 I realized I just didnt care enough about that anymore. cause I was doing nothing wrong. I was myself and i like who I am. and if a girl wasnt into me it wasnt because I had done a specific thing or said something. It was simply beacuase our esscences were not compatible. so there was no reason to blame myself. instead I puyt my energy into my music and became convinced and I am to this day as well that it doesnt really matter because I have a band now. a band in which the guys are great and we get along real good and in which I am the lead singer and ione of the guitar players. and basically instead of wasting my time in individual dates, which despite all the benfits gained from the knowledge at ss still give me stress and tension, I need to gorw musically and rehearse with my band.
cause when I am playing at a gig and we are sounding great and people are applauding girls will come. and if they dont I dont even care. thats the thing. I just stopped caring. what i really want now is not to be a don juan but to be a great rockand roll musician. you could say that my priorities changed.
of course I still get nostalgic and sad at times when I think ofhow long I have been without the company of a girl that cares aboutme and who I am. and about how I do perhaps in a way lack the game to pursue the hot girls I really want. after all Im not a natural player macho type bad boy sweating sex appeal and feromnes wherever I go. still I am far from being a wimpy type who gets pushed around by anyone, especially women.
I guess cincerning girls, Im just a regular guy who really does not undesrtand the behavioral patterns of a woman magnet, but is lucky enough to have a guitar and a talent to help him get that missing sex appeal.
the great thing is now when we start doing gigs Ill have a reason to do cold approaches all the time. Ill print flyers of the gig and approach any hot girl I see and give them flyers and some migh show up and watch me do my thing on stage and walla, I already know them, my status is high thanks to the band performing and the way is set for a future date and best , it all seems extremely casual.
the other day I gave a ride to one of the few girls I have really found myself to be attracted to in the last few months. lauren, a short blonde american girl kinda chubby but very pretty. very my type. I saw her walking home from school and turned around and geave her a ride home. although I didnt know her or her name we chatted a bit but could not see where she lived cause she told me to drop her on the corner of her street. asking for a phone number would have been odd and obvious. invitingher to a gig (if I had had one would havce been not) and better yet inviting her to a gig, giving her the flyer but telling her the date or something isnt completley set yet so give me you number so I can tell you where its going to be kinda thing. anyway. when I got back home only knowing her name but not her number por address I felt really bad and nearly cried. dont really know why. at least I went and pciked her up. maybe my old self wouldnt have had the balls to do that. but still I felt as if she was so out of my reach. I felt like I was so out of her league. I knew it was stupid but I felt that way. I cant explain why. I felt like so inferior. I felt like only the macho player who used women types coud get her. that that was all women wanted.
nevertheless as soon as I recover and we get a gig Im going to her school, Im going to find her and Im going to do my thing and hopefully she ll show up because you always have to try. you can never give up. I will find my women. I will have my share of cute artistic girls. I plan to work out everyday for the rest of my life and have a family until Im like 45 so I have plenty of time for them. Id say the main thing that changed was that Im a lot more focused and centered. I worry and think about girls a lot less now.
I expect your responses. the longer the response the better. I want to know your opinions on my 2 year journey and where I am at at this point in my life. Ill appreciate suggestions and feedback . I wish you all the best.
