2 nights, 2 fails ... How can I improve?

FrizePolo

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I'm in vacation in an european country ... There are here a lot of foreign girls at night looking for guys ... So I'm going to explain my 2 last nights ... I rarely go out so I don't know how it works ...

Night #1: I was near a night club, and come to me 5/6 girls, one of them ask me where is bar X, I didn't know and said that, one of them stays near me while the other ones go away ... Well, I started a conversation asking where shes from (in my stupid english, shes from france but speak english too), how many time shes here, etc after while asked if she want go to somewhere more quiet/peaceful she said dunno, I said ok ... we continued to speak and I remembered that I didnt know her name, so I asked and she say you have to guess bla bla, I said 2 or 3 names and nothing ... I was bored and asked what she are doing there, she said that is waiting for a friend(bull****), I said ok and leave ...

Well, she probably is 20/22yo, like me, but her convesation is from a child (i think) what can be done in this situation? nothing? it was me that was stupid?

Night #2: I was with + 2 friends dancing at a bar, and I noticed that a girl was looking at me intensely, however, she was the one of the prettiests girls I had ever seen I didn't believed it was for me so I ignored ... After I while she came near me and I started to believe, however I didn't have "balls" to talk with her ... after a while some guy came and started to talked to her and after that there wasn't anything to do ...

My question here is, she speaks another language ... What can I do in similar situations? Even If I talk with her in english, what should I say?

Thank you
 

Iceberg

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Masculinity

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No approach is failure. You fail when you DON'T approach. You are being too harsh on yourself. Not every woman will be interested--in fact, most won't, but if you don't go for the approach you will always be asking yourself what could have happened. The situation you gave couldn't have been a better example:

FrizePolo said:
I noticed that a girl was looking at me intensely, however, she was the one of the prettiests girls I had ever seen I didn't believed it was for me so I ignored ... After I while she came near me and I started to believe, however I didn't have "balls" to talk with her ... after a while some guy came and started to talked to her and after that there wasn't anything to do ...
You need to work on your self esteem. You have an inner-game problem--you don't think you're good enough for women like this and that they couldn't be possibly be interested in you. I don't want to be harsh on you, but you are expecting chicks to come to you and that's simply not going to happen.
You are answering your own question here. The words in BOLD represent what kept you from succeeding. The other guy went for it and got her.

She is not going to come over and make out with you. YOU have to be a MAN and approach; this is a huge opportunity you missed, but hey...move forward, learn from it and don't let it happen again.
 

piday314

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Okay Frize, before I address each of your questions, you seem to be very insecure in your "skills" with women. Just take things easy buddy and it will come to you.

In scenario #1, the main problem is that you were bored. When you become bored early in an interaction with a woman, it's over. Therefore, amuse yourself, have fun with it. Make fun of her, push her buttons. Don't be afraid. It's that simple.

In scenario #2, it sounds like you don't know exactly what kind of women you are capable of attracting. You just have to come to believe that you are capable of getting with any woman, and then this kind of thing won't be an issue for you. Instead, if you are internally validated, you will be wondering if these hot model btches are right FOR YOU. A completely different frame.

You should have just tried to talk to her. You can communicate a lot through body language. What did you have to lose?
 

thevilittletroll

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you had 2 girls attracted to you, and you failed to pull the trigger. even though one of the girls you thought was boring, you still could have banged her if you escalted kino on her. the other girl you never approached when you should have. european women are a lot more open sexually than americans, so escalting kino should be much easier. also do not let not being able to speak the language be an obstacle for you. its very common in europe, think about how many countries are close together. they all speak different languages, your bound to meet someone who doesnt speak them all. sexual body language is your key. remember 90% of all communication is non verbal anyway, so it doesnt really matter what you say.
 

FrizePolo

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Before anything thank you for your words ...

In scenario #1, Kino would be a good option, however I talked with her like 7/8 minutes, maybe a little bit "aggressive" escalate to kino in this short time, no?
Anyway, the point here, is that: I didn't know what to say, I can't be like a dog and say 100 names until I get her name ... I tried to guess saying some funny names, she smiles: no ... no ... She kills my conversation, however she was acting like "do something, i like you" ... this already happened to me before, her face say one thing, the mouth other ... They act like they enjoy but they can't ... I don't understand

In scenario #2: This was a good lesson, no doubt. However I still don't know what I can do ... She was with her friends (2, I think) in a noisy bar, I had to say something, but what?! I don't know to do that "non-verbal" thing ...

By the way, how can I boost my self esteem?

Thank you, and I hope that you understand my words, since i'm not a native english speaker
 
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