2 dates went great. Suddenly went sorta cold?

[Ryan Adams]

Met girl took her on date she obviously found me attractive talked for hours end up date got a couple pecks on the lip. She texted me. After that non stop we talked for days from morning to night just making jokes laughing etc. On christmas she ready has told her family about me. Her mom told her to invite me over etc etc. Went on 2nd date ice skating i was horrible but it still went well she was laughing her ass off the entire time. Went and got food laughed etc etc. Went to drop her off at apartment and she said if I wasn't so tired i would invite you in. Gave her a hug got a couple more pecks on the lips more like bf/gf kisses then making out. After that texts got more spaced out. She still snapchats me alot with her and her sister together and random stuff like that. Basically quit talking to me on text and now we just snapchat but the communication isnt nonstop like it was a few days ago. What could this be? We still communicate but shes kinda got a hard vibe now to read.. But i have no idea what to do at this point
Help me out fellas

 

[MightyOracle]

Too much communication hurts. Let her miss you.

 

[Ryan Adams]

So your saying go no contact?

 

[Ryan Adams]

Bump

 

[Igetit!]

I agree with MightOracle. For one......you communicated with her too much. Spending too much time talking and texting not only makes it look like you don't have a life with other things to do,you also reveal too much about yourself too soon....you kinda take away the mystery of being this "new guy" she wants to learn about and explore.

And once the cat's out of the bag,that's kinda it....kinda like reading a book. Once you've read it and know everything that's in it,your desire to read it kinda goes away since there's nothing new there to learn.

I'm afraid that's just the tip of the iceberg,though. If I read and understood everything correctly,you might have an even bigger problem on your hands. I wanna go though what you said here......

Met girl took her on date she obviously found me attractive talked for hours end up date got a couple pecks on the lip. She texted me. After that non stop we talked for days from morning to night just making jokes laughing etc. On christmas she ready has told her family about me. Her mom told her to invite me over etc etc. Went on 2nd date ice skating.....

You said you two went on a date,everything seemed well. You talked nonstop from morning to night for a few days,on Christmas she told her mother about you,her mom told her to invite you over,then maybe a day or two later,you two went out again,iceskating.


Ok,uhhh.....correct me if I'm wrong.......but did this girl tell her mom/family about you after only ONE date? And her mother told her to invite you over.....so they're trying to invite you over to meet the family....after only ONE date?


If so,you might wanna kinda ease things up a bit. Stuff like this is where you get chicks throwing out the "We rushed things/We moved too fast" line. Guys getting invited over to meet a chick's parents are for dudes in RELATIONSHIPS......not guys who've only been on ONE DATE with a girl. Your goal should be sex....not a relationship. Even if meeting her folk is HER idea,if you go along with her,you're still the one who's gonna get punished.


Yes,that's right. A woman can have an idea....something SHE BROUGHT UP.....and if you go along with it,she'll blame you as if you were the one who brought it up.

Gave her a hug. got a couple more pecks on the lips more like bf/gf kisses then making out After that texts got more spaced out.

Bam...you see that? You said.....

"got a couple more pecks on the lips more like bf/gf kisses then making out"

You shouldn't be "bf/gf" kissing after 2 dates. If you're doing things that give off a "relationship" type vibe...after only 2 dates,she's gonna back off. Don't be surprised if she suddenly starts cancelling dates,or making up excuses as to why she can't spend time with you.

You're simply moving things too fast. You shouldn't be talking to her all day..."nonstop" day after day after day.....I don't care how much she seems to like or enjoy it.

If you don't slow things down,HER EMOTIONS will do it for you by "needing space".

 

[Ryan Adams]

I understand but thats her moving things fast not me! Im not the one doing the pecking thats her. I definitly should of initiated making out. Am i too far gone to get this back or do you still think i have a chance? How should i play my cards with this from now on? My plan is to set a date on say monday asap and not really chit chat until we meet?

 

[Ryan Adams]

I was just going with the flow and communication was super high at first then tapered off. Last night she was drunk with her sister snap chatting me videos or her and her sister drunk Making food playing with her niece and nephew. i got the vibe she was showing me shes "wifey" material but who knows. I feel like shes diggin me still but i just gotta play my cards right. If she sends me snaps should i just never respond back?

I get the feeling shes a very very family oriented girl who doesnt party much. And for fun hangs out with family instead of going out which i like.

 

[Igetit!]

I understand but thats her moving things fast not me!

I'm gonna clear my throat,and say this a SECOND TIME to make sure you get it......(clears throat)...

IT DOESN'T MATTER IF SHE'S THE ONE MOVING TOO FAST.........

If you go along with it......YOU'RE THE ONE who's gonna get punished.

I told you....if you go along with something that's a bad idea...even if it's HER IDEA,you're the one she's gonna assign the blame to.......even though she brought the whole thing up.

You can say,"Well she did this,and she did that...it was her fault...she's the one who moved things too fast"...and you know what?

You can be 100% correct.......100% right.....but it won't matter....if she starts flaking,and cancelling,and making excuses not to see you,YOU'RE THE ONE who's still gonna still like sh1t.

I know it's not fair,but chicks don't care about what's fair,or right and wrong when it comes to dating...they only care about their feelings.

Am i too far gone to get this back or do you still think i have a chance?

Honestly....it's kinda hard to say. Does she reach out to you,or do you have to initiate everything? You have to call or text her FIRST all the time? If she reaches out to you still....even if it's just every now and then,and if she still goes out on dates with you and hasn't started flaking,cancelling,or making up excuses....then yeah,I'd say you still have a chance....BUT...

You need to back off a little. Maybe call or text every other day,don't be online with her all the time,and for pete's sake.....STOP TEXTING AND TALKING ALL DAY "NONSTOP" DAY AFTER DAY AFTER DAY.

And for damn sure....DON'T GO OVER TO HER MOTHER'S HOUSE. Act like a man who's sexually attracted to her....not like a guy seeking his next relationship.

 

[Ryan Adams]

I think her inviting me over was more of a joke then anything but i wouldnt of done it that woukd of been so weird. but her family definitly knows my name already. And she still reaches out to me first 9/10. This morning i initiated a convo about an xmas present we talked about. Chatted over snapchat for a little then she hasnt answered me in 2 hrs. Which isnt unusual. If she hits me up again should i not answer? Its like when do i suddenly not answer. at what point?
Like i said she usually iniates the convos i dont want to blow her off

 

[Ryan Adams]

We have only been on 2 dates... met her 2 weeks ago. Really want a 3rd date but haven't talked about that yet

 

[MightyOracle]

Always take time to reply.
Also try to reduce the usage of snapchat. Whenever you open her snap she will know, and you will have a need to reply, it is a very awkward position.

 

[Ryan Adams]

She basically quit communicating through text haha alllll snapchat what should i do?

 

[Ryan Adams]

?

 

[Denny19]

It seems you are concentrating too much on this one girl....it happens to the best of us, but its not going to get you anywhere. Your probably looking at your phone every 5 min to see if she texted or snapped shotted you. Im not criticizing you, I'm trying to help you.

Don't ever let a woman think you are waiting for her in anyway...EVER. @Allin is right...do something to keep your mind off this situation. Don't be so eager to respond.

And yes, i agree with everybody on here, waayyyy too much communication too early. The phone (whether calling or texting)_ should be used to set up dates only!!! She probably got bored because she probably knows everything about you already

And don't be fooled by her "telling her family about you"....woman are emotional creatures. Thats how she was feeling at that particular time.....LITERALLY, women will fall out of love within in minutes. Its just how they work.

 

[Ryan Adams]

You all are right i need to chill acting like a lite kid. Once i like a girl my head goes out the window. I dont think im to late just yet but ill just go with the flow and keep texting to a minimum.

 

[bigneil]

First, the bad news: she has another man in her life.

Now the good news: that will pass and she'll be back in 2+ weeks. You will pick up where you left off. This is almost always the case.

 

[finality]

You are being retarded.

Ask her out on a date.. be specific. Friday bowling ect

If she gives you anything other than a yes then ghost her

If she says yes then keep the contact to a minimum and only let her initiate via text. Stay the fuk off snapchat

Be willing to go zero contact until she confirms the day of the date... are we still on today.. she will.

If she doesn't then ghost her and realize that she had low interest in you.

If you let the date slide it will get her hamster wheel spinning and she will wonder why you didn't care if you went out with her and it will increase her attraction for you and probably ask you out and you will have her chasing.. like women should be.

 

[Ryan Adams]

I know im an idiot thing is ive been fee quite a few girls but once feelings start coming into play im a bumbling mess.


Update: i went no contact for only 5 hrs and she came at me hard texting me 2 different times asking where i was what i was doing etc. Asked her on a 3rd date after small chitchat. and got it easily.... thanks fellas

 

[sazc]

Typically the female ends up at an emotional crossroads where they realize that they ate going have to get vulnerable, sexually and emotionally, with the man, if they continue to date. The idea of opening up sexually and emotionally, and leaving themselves vulnerable to getting hurt, causes them to panic and pull back. I would imagine that it's very confusing and frustrating for a man.
For the most part, its not you, its them. And there is nothing you can do to correct this. You just have to go NC, give then their space, and let them sort their emotional sh1t out themselves.
Missed opportunity? Yes. However, apparently, it wasn't meant to be.

Not all females are like this. But the ones who go chilly after a few good dates, this may explain it.

 

[Ryan Adams]

Did you read what i just wrote?