10th Grader needing help!

[Wheeler]

Hi guys, new here and I came across this site amazed by all the tips I found. Right now I'm going to share my story and hopefully you guys can help me with some tips more suited to me...

Well back in grade 8 began to develop a high level of moderate acne (if that makes sense lol) so I stop trying to go after girl and eventually stopped talking to them in general. This effected me my whole grade 8 year and first year of high school in grade 9 (im canadian btw, different school system lol). I was soo shy at certain points i couldn't even look a girl in the eye and would try to avoid any contact with a girl.

Summer came along an the worst of my acne has cleared up, I still have some little red bumps on my forehead but I really dont think its a big deal at all. The beginning of grade 10 was alright, I began to talk to girls with the occasional one showing some interest. I began to become more comfortable. I had on and off days, on and off weeks. What I mean by that is like the number of girls I've been talking to and flirting with. I haven't went after a girl yet but I have a few in mind that could be interested. Heres some of the pros and cons that I have.

Pros
-Funny
-Great Personality
-5ft 9, 130 pounds (in shape lol)
-Alright looking (I could be better looking than i think but we'll go with alright for now lol...)
-Athletic
-Smart when I want to be lol

Cons
-A little acne (nbd tho)
-I have one ****ed up tooth next to my 2 big front ones (I really dont think its a big deal but idk what a girl thinks about it...)
-Low confidence level
-Not sure how to start and escalate a conversation
-I always think of what bad can come out of me talking to a girl and not the good, when i talk to a girl and have a conversation, I always go over in my head what bad could have happened during the convo and it sorta puts me down for the rest of the day

I wanna how to go up to that random hot girl start a conversation and get her interested. Or get any girl interested for that matter. With the given information is it possible for this to happen?

Thank you for your feedback, its much appreciated.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Sup man, I think I understand your situation, you're like a little better than me, when I started out.

So, your main "problem" seems to be your acne. Stop touching your face, and rinse in the shower a bit on neutral heat. I have some too, no big deal, don't ever think about it.

You must remember that almost all of these things are minor and changeable. You say you have a great personality, are funny and low confidence, why is that? Are you always low confidence / good personality?

As for your tooth... dude... IM LAUGHTING SO FVCKING HARD!!!
You wanna see my teeth!? I had cemo when I was frikkin 6 months old. My teeth are crap. My mom uses them to show effects of cemo. I'm missing atleast 9, I have a huge gap between my front teeth, the ones next to them are really sharp and tiny and the bottom ones are small. Chill out about your tooth
IT DOES NOT MATTER.

Your escalation skills will simply come later. You do not learn confidence or escalation by gaining knowledge. The cycle is like this:
You gain knowledge by reading
You apply in real life (often failing), and gain reference experience.
Reference experience teaches your mind that it's OK and you gain confidence and skills.
Gain confidence by working out, setting standards (not girls) for yourself and pushing your limits (Acting in spite of fear).

Stop thinking about the bad stuff, they never happen. The worst case scenario often isn't bad at all. It's a win-win.

The only thing stopping you from talking to her is YOU. You must realize that you are just as likely to talk to her after you've read all of the info, than now. Act in spite of fear, do not fear rejection, however, telling you that isn't enough.

 

[Rollo Tomassi]

OK, lets see, where to begin? First thing, go listen to this:
Have a Look

I'll give you the advice no one ever gave me in 10th grade; first and foremost understand your environment and how it interacts with your own personal conditions. You're 15, in high school, and you're subject to a lot of unfamiliar social stresses. You've only existed for 15 years, but your peers, pop culture, your socialization, all expect you to have everything figured out. And you don't, and it's frustrating, but the good news is that all of your peers, all of the girls you're hot for, have only been on planet earth for about the same time, and they're just as lost as you are to varying degrees. They all share the same environment you do, and their conditions are more or less similar to your own. So when you see a popular guy at school, or some gorgeous girl you think is way out of your league, remind yourself that they're in the same boat you are, only they're able to cover it better thanks to talent or looks.

This comes to my next point; in high school perception is EVERYTHING. Think about it this way - you've only been alive 15 years and really only maybe 3 of those have been spent developing yourself socially. If you feel you "lack confidence" it's really only because you simply have no prior successes (or options) to base that confidence on. Adolescents simply don't have the depth of experience necessary to judge their peers based upon anything BUT appearances. Even these estimations are drawn from how well a teenager compares to an archetype they've come to know from popular culture. Yes, Game helps and being socially intelligent and savvy will add to your appeal, but in high school attraction is reduced to it's Darwinian rawest - Looks.

As I stated above, you're all in the same social environment together. None of you really have a job, or any status (earned or otherwise) to base demonstrating higher value on (DHV). That is except looks and/or performance. If you look good or do something people respect (social proof) your value increases. Now, this definitely changes as you get into your 20's, college, career, etc., but at 15 girls want a hot guy with a Look.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Yes, Game helps and being socially intelligent and savvy will add to your appeal, but in high school attraction is reduced to it's Darwinian rawest - Looks.

As I stated above, you're all in the same social environment together. None of you really have a job, or any status (earned or otherwise) to base demonstrating higher value on (DHV). That is except looks and/or performance. If you look good or do something people respect (social proof) your value increases. Now, this definitely changes as you get into your 20's, college, career, etc., but at 15 girls want a hot guy with a Look.

I disagree with your statement. I believe that College and HS is pretty much the same - just that College is more people and parties.

You make sense with your theory about age though, interesting. However, value is displayed in many other ways than looks, and several of these are in effect in HS. There are 3 biggies:

Looks - Dressing, style, muscle, face, hair, it all gains attention, and I suppose that looks matter more in HS than in real life. However, I don't believe that looks matter much.

Reputation - How many people knows your name and how you are known. How many friends, and what friends, etc. (How many people react to you).

Confidence - Simply game. Girls just spot confidence like That. I shouldn't really have to explain this one. It also boosts the two above.

 

[Wheeler]

Thanks for the help guys! I can already tell my first day back to school is going to be a good one. I'll make sure to keep you guys updated. Anymore help is still much appreciated.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Thanks for the help guys! I can already tell my first day back to school is going to be a good one. I'll make sure to keep you guys updated. Anymore help is still much appreciated.

Just stay on track and keep us updated bro.

 

[Jack Wealthy]

Rich kids have house parties more often, because of they're big houses.

 

[handle]

Dude, just have a good time and don't get too stressed about this ****. You're in 10th grade.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Dude, just have a good time and don't get too stressed about this ****. You're in 10th grade.

Rather before than later. Getting into a habit of procrastination is not good.
I also think that the earlier you solve the problem - the easier it is.