1000th post: What I have learned since joining SS...

[Fuglydude]

Can't believe I have a thousands posts on a "how to pick up chics" forum... Definitely feel like a real winner!! haha...

I joined this forum around 4 and a half years ago at the tender young age of 24. At the time I was just starting my stripping career, and used this forum to better understand the social/sexual dynamics between women and men. I read the DJ bible and quite a bit of David Deangelo's materials. These materials helped me to get a handle social/sexual dynamics at clubs/shows, etc... initially it was pretty overwhelming to get that kinda female attention, but gradually you almost "get used to it" in a way, and shows become "just another day at the office".

A lot has happened in the last 4 and a half years: I've finished off my second university degree and am currently working fulltime. I've retired from the male entertainment industry... 3.5 years and hundreds of shows later. I'm engaged to a model and am very happy in the relationship. I make a decent living, and live in an upper-middle class neighborhood in the 'burbs and don't really have and significant debt except for some manageable student loans and my mortgage. I am also currently prepping for my first bodybuilding competition next year. Overall, I am pretty happy with where I currently am in life, and look forward to future challenges.

I have some life tips to dispense to all you young wipperschnappers based on what I have learned in the last 4-5 years of my life since discovering SS... These tips will not only help you pull higher quality tail, but more importantly will help you to be happier in life in general.

1. Focus on self improvement: NEVER EVER stop improving yourself. Work on the different aspects of your life: Career/scholastic, physical, social, spiritual, family etc. I strongly believe that we are happiest when we devote ourselves to a higher cause/purpose, work our asses off and finally achieve the goal.

2. Build and take care of your body: Being in elite shape will instantly give you social status in any social setting. It will greatly enhance your social/sexual value. Not only will this help you to pull hotter girls, but you'll be a lot happier being strong, lean and healthy. Trust me on this one... I've made tens of thousands of dollars and basically financed a university degree with my build. It makes a HUGE difference when you're in great shape.

3. Choose your profession/business wisely: This is more important today than ever before with all the financial turmoil that occurs through out the world. Its horrible to work your ass off for multiple degrees then not have a job afterwards. Choose a profession that's in high demand that you enjoy. Its nice if it pays well too. If you have a good business idea/plan make sure you pursue it, as having your own business is typically more lucrative than working.

4. If you're in college/university, take it seriously, or don't bother going. Having a crappy GPA can really mess up future plans for academic/career advancement. I totally regret not taking school as seriously as I should have.

5. Keep things w/ women simple. Women are kinda messed in the head... don't try to understand them, because you'll go nuts trying. This forum does a fantastic job of making things waaaay too complicated. Focus on being a high value male and the women will come to you. By high value I mean: elite shape, good career/business/finances, fun personality, social, etc. As a high value male you'll have lotsa choice when it comes to women. This will abolish the scarcity mentality that seems to permeate every single post on this forum. You can simply next women if you want and don't have to put up w/ any sorta shiiite.

6. Be positive and optimistic. Attitude is everything... I realize this is kinda cliche, but I totally believe it to be true. Your internal state will eventually manifest itself itself into the real world so make sure your inner self is sound. In my experience being optimistic and positive is also a very attractive quality to women.

7. Enjoy women. I don't just mean sexually, but also socially and as friends. I have entertained thousands of women at shows and have had lotsa fun/cool conversations with them. I have had friends w/ benefits and also just hung out with women just cuz they were cool to just chill and talk with. I don't get how lotsa guys on this forum seem to be so bitter towards women. Remember women WANT to be used for sex and many of them like sex even more than we do... act accordingly.

8. Use drugs in moderation or not at all... this includes alcohol. I've experimented w/ A LOT stuff: weed, ecstasy, prescription amphetamines, benzos, some narcotics, anabolics, etc. etc... At the end of the day, they're really not all they're cut out to be.

You only exist for a finite period... might as well do what you can to be happy while you're here.

Please free to add any tips you have and what you have learned since joining this site.

 

[NorwegianDJ]

Fantastic post! I totally agree on almost all of it, if not all. Really good material right here, straight to the point.

However I want to add that happiness should not be based of external things. Happiness is ultimately gained through self-esteem, which is partly explained in your post. You've always had self-esteem, it is just hidden behind your huge ego. To find your self-esteem again, one major thing you have to do is to IMPROVE YOURSELF. Put effort into what you do. GO TO THE GYM. Improve your life-situation. There is a lot to be said on this topic, but there is no reason to make it more complex.

When you are out in a social setting, focus on having fun. The more fun you have, the more success you will have. However, you must still take action. And if you didn't get any, atleast you had a lot of fun, which in the end is what it is all about! As men, we chase that great feeling inside, be it by getting women, working out or being successful in other parts of your life. That feeling is known as JOY, or happiness.

Also, take right action. Take action that will lead you towards your goals.
Take any action, just because you gain experience from it. You don't gain experience from reading on this forum, and it is experience that you learn from, knowledge just gives you a better understanding and saves time.

Rejection is better than regret.
Great post, I'm finished hijacking.

 

[Iceberg]

I just reached my 1,000 post mark after about 9 years. It's a long journey isn't it? Anyway, I agree with 99% of what you say, but I've been dying to discuss this topic with ANYONE lately, so here's an opportunity.

4. If you're in college/university, take it seriously, or don't bother going. Having a crappy GPA can really mess up future plans for academic/career advancement. I totally regret not taking school as seriously as I should have.

Perhaps it's just my profession, but I found grades to be totally useless. I always hated grades, the idea of grading, and other students who cared a lot about grades. As if some teacher giving writing "A" on my test is supposed to make me feel better about myself as a person...

As far as getting a job post-college, I'd recommend networking and internships. Knowing someone and having PRACTICAL experience means a lot more than GPA.

I work in advertising. I'm a writer. It's an EXTREMELY hard profession to get into. And I didn't have grades. All I had was the talent to write and the drive to kick doors until someone let me in.

I'm not devaluing college. It's just that I see so many of my friends who use their degree to get a job they hate, and their solution is, "I'll get a graduate degree!" Like, why would I as an employer hire you at the salary you desire if all you have to show for your career is years at a crappy job and 2 degrees? It's awesome that you have the ability to study lots of topics and memorize crap, but that has nothing to do with the day-to-day job at any workplace.

I guess my summary is: Drive, experience, and networking show a lot more to an employer than "Hey this kid studies really well."

Congratulations on your overall journey. A lot of men just take whatever life gives them and roll with it. Only a brave few of us actually TRY to change.

 

[Hakuna]

amazing post dude, quite inspirational.

I know most of us know everything in this post, but it really helps to be reminded of the more important lessons taught at SS. Also helps to keep us focused, it's easy to get caught up and forget these things.

 

[falconslax89]

Really enjoyed the post...you sound a lot like me only older and probably a little wiser..

 

[HolyG]

To the Archive!

 

[Fuglydude]

Thanks for the all the comments guys. I just think this forum is great at "sweating the small stuff" so to speak, especially on the main forum. I relegate myself to the health and fitness and mature forum mostly. The big things get overlooked sometimes when we sweat the small stuff too much. If you're doing the big things well, then you won't have to sweat the small stuff as much. Just hope someone benefits from my experience.

Iceberg, I guess it depends on what you do as a career. I work in critical care and wanna continue my career in anesthesia so I need a masters in that field. Graduate degrees mean that you have to study and get good grades. My last degree was a bit of a joke, so I was high for most of it, and had very little motivation to study as I got the same grades no matter how much I prepped.

I can see why you're valuing practical experience over GPA in your case given the field you're in. As a healthcare professional I'm inclined to agree with you wholeheartedly. Experience is by far the best teacher... you can study all the cardiovascular life support stuff that you want... but until you're in a code/arrest type situation and actively working a resuscitation, you'll never truly know what its like. That being said, grades are also important when it comes to career advancement if getting graduate degrees are involved. I guess in the end its good to have both.

Moral of the story?

Be an ENTJ! :yes: (MBTI personality test)

The Meyes-Jung test thing said I'm an ENTP... I guess that's similar to an ENTJ but just more nerdy. Its actually pretty cool that those test are kinda accurate for categorizing people's personality types.

 

[Jitterbug]

Great post Fug, and you've done very well with yourself.

I think the last half of #5 (be a high value man) and #7 (enjoy women) are a bit of chicken & egg. The high value men are, well, highly valued by women and get to see their very pleasant sides. The rest don't get such good treatments so don't enjoy their experience with women as much. I was once a low value guy before (fat, poor, no social value, new immigrant status) and it was impossible to enjoy being around women when they'd either ignore my existence completely, or go out of their way to be mean to me. While I'm now a high value guy and very much enjoy women's company as they treat me very well, I don't let myself forget that they really are of no help when you're down and out.

Any newbie reading Fug's post should take note of the central point. That is, becoming a high value man in looks (physique, style etc.), finance (career, investments, savings), social values (resourcefulness, friendship & connections) will draw women to you. Don't waste so much time learning Game like most of these seduction sites tell you to.

 

[Rubirosa]

I'm not jealous of you because you were a male stripper being adored by tons of horny chicks......No.- I'm jealous because you figured all this stuff out while still in your 20's. It took me hitting 40 before it all started to make sense. Thnk you for always being so unselfish and helpful in your posts. (Maybe w/ you being Indian you have a better sense of Karma than the rest of us...ha ha just kidding dude. Take care)

 

[YAboi]

Any newbie reading Fug's post should take note of the central point. That is, becoming a high value man in looks (physique, style etc.), finance (career, investments, savings), social values (resourcefulness, friendship & connections) will draw women to you. Don't waste so much time learning Game like most of these seduction sites tell you to.

This last part of your post is gold especilly the social values part. With social values you don't even need the money and physique as an immediate criteria.

 

[Fuglydude]

Jitter, thanks for explicitly posting what was implicit in my original post... that was an awesome succinct summary of my whole idea behind that post! I get your points about the high value/enjoy women thing... I guess I never considered the other side of the coin with respect to women treating lower value guys poorly. Thanks for presenting a converse position.

Rubirosa, nothing I've said its truly profound haha... its pretty simple basic shiite when you think about it. I'm glad you've realized it now though. Haha, thanks for the karma comment.

Yaboi... Can you clarify the social values thing? When I was single I've always relied on my physical appearance and social status as an entertainer to gain social value at clubs, bars, outings, etc... I mean obviously my personality helped too, but I think the former was a much bigger contributor. What other ways, (other than personality, looks and money), can someone have higher social value?

I also thought of a couple of other points I'd like to add:

9. If you're gonna get into a LTR, make sure you quality the SHIITE out of the girl and make sure you two are compatible. I judge potential LTRs on appearance (A), personality (P), intelligence/education (I), and x-factor/intangibles (X)... I call it my APIX scale haha... talk about geeky. A girl should have high ratings in all areas to be considered potential LTR material.... kinda like a valuable pokemon card.

An LTR is essentially like putting all your capital in one investment. If that investment falters then you're in a world of hurt! Therefore, make sure its a sound investment. My rule of thumb is to not engage in an LTR unless you've known a girl reasonably well for at least 6-12 months. I think most of society jumps in to LTRs way too readily. The end result is a high break up rate. I've only had one LTR, and we're engaged. I don't see the point of LTRs unless you're seriously gonna consider marrying the girl for procreative purposes.


10. Don't take your friends, family, especially your parents and siblings for granted. You never know when they'll be gone. Working in critical care you see people get sick fast. Although we're pretty good at keeping people alive, we can't save everybody. I've been doing this for a while, but I still get choked up inside when we have families present during a failed resuscitation/code. Life can be a pretty delicate thing sometimes, and it doesn't take a lot to extinguish someone's flame... Make sure you appreciate the people in your life that love and support you. Everyone is only here for a finite period and you never know when someone will be gone.

Wow talk about ending on a downer! Anyways please feel free to keep adding more tips. Thanks again for the comments!

 

[(JJ)]

i dont ever look in the archive.

but i'm glad i glanced over to read this thread.

great advice, great thread, great simplification of everything.

 

[runner83]

Awesome post.

Definitely worth +1 rep.

 

[Colossus]

Word. Inspired me to make my own.

 

[Fuglydude]

Saw your 10 things post... noticed some similarities between what you wrote on your list vs. what I've said up on this thread. Guess great minds think a like!

 

[YAboi]

Yaboi... Can you clarify the social values thing? When I was single I've always relied on my physical appearance and social status as an entertainer to gain social value at clubs, bars, outings, etc... I mean obviously my personality helped too, but I think the former was a much bigger contributor. What other ways, (other than personality, looks and money), can someone have higher social value?

Just saw your post now, In terms of social value, its not even a matter of your value being high or low , it just has to do with engaging in social circle game.

You just make friends with lots of people and through those people you meet single eligible girls. This is not about one man up ship through having high social value, its about having fun meeting new people and expanding your life interests in the process.