100 to 0 real quick - why?

[reversed]

Hey dudes,
I'm going to provide you with a sample of my problem cause clearly I must be doing something wrong. (I'm 21 if it makes any difference)

Exhibit A

We were chilling at a pub with my friends for a hockey match and when I got up to go to the bathroom I saw a girl, made eye contact, smiled as I walked by her. The match was nearly over so when I was going back, I stopped by her table and gestured her to come to me. She immediately got up, came to me, we had a little chat, I could sense she likes me then I got her number and fb and went back to my friends.

I texted her the next day, had a little chat and told her to go out with me - she said she has exams on monday and tuesday so she needs to study - didn't offer any other time but the responds were fast and positive so I messaged her again today.

I asked about the studying, she said the exam is later today so she is studying again. And then it went like this:

Me: "yeah, i have 2 exams on wednesday too and haven't started yet... same as always"
Her: " "
Me: "wait for a bit before I go through your exhausting answer" (i didn't sound so offended in my language.....)
Her: "so what am I supposed to answer? "
Me: "i don't know, that's kinda your job "
Her: "theres nothing to say on this"

I read the last message but didn't answer because from my point of view I had 2 choices - tell her off for disrespecting me or nexting. I chose the latter because we have no common history. (Damn this is a long story.)

Exhibit B

Next thing - as I was going home I met an old female friend I haven't seen for a long long time (and she looks gooooood). We hugged, had a chat I said we should go out, she gave me a long story of her being busy. I looked straight into her eyes the whole time and then said I wasn't listening at all and told her to tell me when does she have time - she said tuesday, I said I'm at work (I work in a café) but she can visit me BUT she has to bring her A-look because what would I look like if my new girlfriend came to visit me and looked subpar. She said she will definitely do that. I told her to kiss me because I have to run, she did, we both went our own way.

She also has 2 exams this week so I messaged her today if she was ready, she gave me a one word answer "nono "

Didn't answer, don't understand.

Summary

I wouldn't ask you if this wasn't a recurring pattern of women being attracted in my presence and then being cold via texts. I am an easy going and good looking guy, I do sports (hitting the gym regularly, recently took up a little bit of boxing), I study, have a job and friends too. So I can't really complain about any aspect of my life except this "first date obstacle". It's not much of a problem for me to get her number and when I get them out once, my stats go straight up.. Looking forward to your thoughts......

 

[RangerMIke]

Summary

I wouldn't ask you if this wasn't a recurring pattern of women being attracted in my presence and then being cold via texts. I am an easy going and good looking guy, I do sports (hitting the gym regularly, recently took up a little bit of boxing), I study, have a job and friends too. So I can't really complain about any aspect of my life except this "first date obstacle". It's not much of a problem for me to get her number and when I get them out once, my stats go straight up.. Looking forward to your thoughts......

You answered your own question.... things were going well UNTIL you started texting. Don't text. Call women on the phone and talk to them.

Don't engage in ANY conversations with women unless you are face to face and then let her do most of the talking. Make observations and ask questions, but don't do too much talking.

Ask her out, she gives you an excuse with no counter-offer (like you got), then you put the ball in her court, tell her to contact you when she is free, then walk away. Don't contact her unless she contacts you.

Truth is this woman has low interest in you... don't waste your time and money on her. She will not start to change her mind about you unless she has to invest time to make it happen.

 

[om1xr]

First let's talk about these Two things: attraction and rapport/connection

1- Attraction: just because she is talking to you and giving you her time/attention doesn't mean that she attracted to you. So you just have to accept it but I don't think that this is your problem based on what you say.

2- Rapport: this is where most guys ****ed up even when the girl is attracted because they don't know how to connect with a girl on an emotional level and by emotional I don't mean to act like a girl but to use active listening and see where you can connect with her and make her feel that you understand her and make her comfortable telling you her deepest secrets (read carnegie if you don't know how to do this).

Now back to you examples it seems like you appear needy on your texts and interaction on the second example because women choose relationship not men so stop treating girls you just met as girlfriend but just speak them like speak with your friends.

The problem may be in texting but I doubt that because sometime I just text "hi" or ""whatsup" and the girls respond with an essay text and an invite to hang out or to mess around.

But I will advise you to use this to understand where the issue is exactely. When asking a girl out first see when she will be free:

You: "hi, how is your schedule this week" Or "what days are you free"

Then ask her out on the days that are convenient to you as well. If she declines you know that she is not interested. And btw girls want to be taken on an adventure not be the adventure so think of something you two may enjoy and the idea of she visit you at work is boring to me.

 

[stevo]

Exhibit A:

Me: "wait for a bit before I go through your exhausting answer" (i didn't sound so offended in my language.....)
Her: "so what am I supposed to answer? "
Me: "i don't know, that's kinda your job "
Her: "theres nothing to say on this"

What were you talking about man?

She told you she has exams Monday and Tuesday. Why are you texting her on Monday? You should have ended the first convo with "I understand, study as much as you can. When exams are finally over, hmu lets get together" and then you wait for her to initiate.

Plain, Simple.

You're texting too long man, it makes the panties dry.


Exhibit B:

Another girl you're initiating convo with, whyyyy? Let them come to you Mister.

Also why are you inviting her to where you work?

Ideal scenario would have been, if she was free tuesday, "I get off at XX, I'll hit you up on where to meet".

Your initial approach seem to be working but your follow up needs more work.

Know what you want to text about. Give them the responsibility of keeping in touch "hit me up" "let me know". Wait it out. Set a definite date. End convo.

Rinse.

Repeat.

 

[reversed]

Okaay. Simple, straightforward answers. Love it.

I went through the last days in my head again and with your help I have a much better understanding now. I even had to laugh how silly I can be sometimes. Thanks guys.

 

[VladPatton]

Too much fluff text, too soon. Text them with a purpose, not just to make a blip on the radar, namely to go do something on a set day. You'll get everything you wanna know by how they reply from that. When given a direct, simple question, the bullshît meter is set on Super Sensitive mode, and you'll be able to figure out if it's a lie or if she truly wants to go out with you.

 

[salinechow]

Uh. we can deconstruct this all we want and the men above me have done well by you in doing so.

However, there is one glaring point that everyone missed here.

You are a d!ck.

Stop being a d!ck.

It was mentioned above that rapport is important. This is correct. ****y/funny...Especially your overtly contrived version of it, needs to be placed after you have connected with them on a basic human level.

You sound pushy, slippery, and saccharin.

Your "confidance" comes off as over compensating and salesy. Schmarmey and generally angry.

Be cool son. Be cool.

To tell a girl "I wasn't listening" after you unrelentingly eye fcked her, by staring into her eyes for that long, makes you seem like a strangler, man. Relax with the PUA stuff.

Tone it back a bit. Pull a little, before you push.

100 to 0 is a perfect analogy...

Try doing 55 at first. Girls like 55 at first.

Later on you can throttle it a bit.

 

[skinnyguy]

Ranger - the one thing I've seen is that if you call a woman you barely know she won't pick up. They screen calls. But if you text they will respond.

 

[mikey2012]

Why aiiiiiii?
http://youtu.be/HG7I4oniOyA