Die Hard
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Nov 15, 2009
- Messages
- 1,783
- Reaction score
- 404
Just over 10 years ago since I registered here. Seems like a good moment to reflect. So where do I stand with all this?
It's all projection. She was quite pretty, 15 years younger, VERY feminine and girly, and she was very much into me. In other words, I got validation from a very attractive, young girl. Apparently that's enough to make me feel like I'm on top of the world.....
What is it we're looking for with women anyway? I guess this.... Validation. If it's not that, than what else do they have to offer? Sex.... Well, sex is overrated. How do you feel about jerking off? Is that special? No, it's just something you do whenever you want, and when you're done, you don't feel like anything special took place right? Well, sex is just masturbation where you substitute your hand with a pvssy. So there's nothing special about that either.
Or imagine having sex with one of those super realistic sex dolls they got nowadays. Looks and feels just like a superhot girl! So why don't we all buy one of those and forget about real girls?
This all tells us that it's not just about the physical act of having sex. We desire more from women. We want them to like us, we want to feel liked, we want to feel loved, we want to feel needed, we want to feel praised blahblah. When a beautiful woman likes you, it makes you feel great. It's validation, it makes you feel good about yourself. You want her to like you, you want her to act nice to you, you want her to say nice and positive things to you, you want her to show to you that she finds you attractive (and her giving you sex is the ultimate sign that she finds you attractive!)
Even when it's supposedly just about the sex, you're looking for something more. Sex is submission, even if you think it's just about your c0ck and its need, it's always more than that. Kissing, caressing, holding each other's hands, making eye contact, pressing your heads against each other, rubbing and stroking each other's skin, it may all be under the disguise of some neanderthal urge to just fvck her brains out (which supposedly has nothing to with emotions). But all those things you do are absolutely emotional and a whole lot is going on with you emotionally, whether you decide to acknowledge it or not.
Of course there's a difference between "making love" or simple sex. But even when you're having simple sex, there's all kinds of emotional stuff happening, whether you like to admit it to yourself or not.
So what am I getting at? That it's all emotional. Women have an emotional effect on us, whether it's through just talking to them and getting validation from interacting with them, or through having sex with them, it all has to do with emotions. Whether you admit this to yourself or not is a separate matter, it doesn't change the facts. Our interactions with women have to do with emotions.
The next step in the equation is your childhood interactions with your parents, especially your mother. Your relationship with her and the interactions with her form a blueprint. Later in life, you apply that blueprint on the women you interact with. Everything's a subconscious repeat of past interactions, the same patterns repeat themselves, the same feelings, expectations and disappointments you experienced with your mother are projected onto the women you interact with later on in life.
Women and our interactions with them are just a mirror. It all mirrors your inner state, the inner state you ended up with as a result of your upbringing. No one really had a perfect upbringing, no parent is perfect, therefor we all have shortcomings in our inner state. Women and our interactions with them activate those shortcomings, they come to the surface so to speak. Those shortcomings are not CAUSED by the women, they were always there inside of you, the women just bring them to the surface.
When you were a baby and mommy was standing over your crib talking sweet and smiling at you, you felt happy. Then when she walked away and was out of sight, you started to cry. Gone was gone, you couldn't even understand that she still existed even though she was out of sight. The moment she wasn't visible, you thought she actually didn't EXIST anymore (read up on object constancy/object permanence). Result: great unrest and emotional chaos inside of you.
That same feeling is activated now when your girlfriend breaks up with you.
Again, just projection of past experiences. Same goes for that blissful feeling baby-you had when mommy was talking sweet and smiling at you. If you like a woman and she smiles at you or talks sweet at you, you just re-live the same experience and feel the same feeling that baby-you experienced. It's all projection of past experiences, period, none of us can escape this. When you were born, the doctor put you in your mother's arms and you laid on your mother's chest. And so you laid with her for many thousands of times throughout those first years. Whatever baby-you felt at that time with regards to your mother (security, symbiosis, emotional rest, safety, whatever) becomes activated when you banged your girl's brains out and then cuddle up with her in bed. Convenienty, many of us guys try to escape that by putting on our clothes and going home right after blowing our load. Doesn't feel right, makes us feel weak and vulnerable. Who wants to feel like the weak, vulnerable helpless baby he once was, right?
Food for thought.
- Women and the quest to attract them, it's all just a reflection of my inner struggle which originates from a messed up childhood.
- It's all about validation. Example: Met a girl a while ago and we had such strong chemistry, amazing! Next day I texted her, she responded very positively, expressing that she too felt that amazing chemistry and this all went on for a while.
It's all projection. She was quite pretty, 15 years younger, VERY feminine and girly, and she was very much into me. In other words, I got validation from a very attractive, young girl. Apparently that's enough to make me feel like I'm on top of the world.....
What is it we're looking for with women anyway? I guess this.... Validation. If it's not that, than what else do they have to offer? Sex.... Well, sex is overrated. How do you feel about jerking off? Is that special? No, it's just something you do whenever you want, and when you're done, you don't feel like anything special took place right? Well, sex is just masturbation where you substitute your hand with a pvssy. So there's nothing special about that either.
Or imagine having sex with one of those super realistic sex dolls they got nowadays. Looks and feels just like a superhot girl! So why don't we all buy one of those and forget about real girls?
This all tells us that it's not just about the physical act of having sex. We desire more from women. We want them to like us, we want to feel liked, we want to feel loved, we want to feel needed, we want to feel praised blahblah. When a beautiful woman likes you, it makes you feel great. It's validation, it makes you feel good about yourself. You want her to like you, you want her to act nice to you, you want her to say nice and positive things to you, you want her to show to you that she finds you attractive (and her giving you sex is the ultimate sign that she finds you attractive!)
Even when it's supposedly just about the sex, you're looking for something more. Sex is submission, even if you think it's just about your c0ck and its need, it's always more than that. Kissing, caressing, holding each other's hands, making eye contact, pressing your heads against each other, rubbing and stroking each other's skin, it may all be under the disguise of some neanderthal urge to just fvck her brains out (which supposedly has nothing to with emotions). But all those things you do are absolutely emotional and a whole lot is going on with you emotionally, whether you decide to acknowledge it or not.
Of course there's a difference between "making love" or simple sex. But even when you're having simple sex, there's all kinds of emotional stuff happening, whether you like to admit it to yourself or not.
So what am I getting at? That it's all emotional. Women have an emotional effect on us, whether it's through just talking to them and getting validation from interacting with them, or through having sex with them, it all has to do with emotions. Whether you admit this to yourself or not is a separate matter, it doesn't change the facts. Our interactions with women have to do with emotions.
The next step in the equation is your childhood interactions with your parents, especially your mother. Your relationship with her and the interactions with her form a blueprint. Later in life, you apply that blueprint on the women you interact with. Everything's a subconscious repeat of past interactions, the same patterns repeat themselves, the same feelings, expectations and disappointments you experienced with your mother are projected onto the women you interact with later on in life.
Women and our interactions with them are just a mirror. It all mirrors your inner state, the inner state you ended up with as a result of your upbringing. No one really had a perfect upbringing, no parent is perfect, therefor we all have shortcomings in our inner state. Women and our interactions with them activate those shortcomings, they come to the surface so to speak. Those shortcomings are not CAUSED by the women, they were always there inside of you, the women just bring them to the surface.
When you were a baby and mommy was standing over your crib talking sweet and smiling at you, you felt happy. Then when she walked away and was out of sight, you started to cry. Gone was gone, you couldn't even understand that she still existed even though she was out of sight. The moment she wasn't visible, you thought she actually didn't EXIST anymore (read up on object constancy/object permanence). Result: great unrest and emotional chaos inside of you.
That same feeling is activated now when your girlfriend breaks up with you.
Again, just projection of past experiences. Same goes for that blissful feeling baby-you had when mommy was talking sweet and smiling at you. If you like a woman and she smiles at you or talks sweet at you, you just re-live the same experience and feel the same feeling that baby-you experienced. It's all projection of past experiences, period, none of us can escape this. When you were born, the doctor put you in your mother's arms and you laid on your mother's chest. And so you laid with her for many thousands of times throughout those first years. Whatever baby-you felt at that time with regards to your mother (security, symbiosis, emotional rest, safety, whatever) becomes activated when you banged your girl's brains out and then cuddle up with her in bed. Convenienty, many of us guys try to escape that by putting on our clothes and going home right after blowing our load. Doesn't feel right, makes us feel weak and vulnerable. Who wants to feel like the weak, vulnerable helpless baby he once was, right?
Food for thought.
Last edited:
