Colossus
Master Don Juan
- Joined
- Jan 22, 2005
- Messages
- 3,505
- Reaction score
- 547
Listen up, newbies.
Most veterans probably know these things, but they bear repeating. Some of these are from an old AskMen list, but I threw in a few of my own. Add to the list if you have any.
10. "I'll call you Friday".
...or any day for that matter. Telling her when you are going to call her does two things: it takes all the mystery out of the interaction, which women need, and it precludes HER from calling you because she is waiting for your call and she wont want to look desperate. Better to just say you'll talk to her soon.
9. "How many guys have you had?"
I don't even need to explain this, but never, ever, ever, ask this question for any reason, unless you happen to be a doctor conducting a sexual health exam. Trust me, you don't wanna know and it's not gonna make you feel better if you DO know.
8. Anything negative about her guy friends.
It makes you look insecure, needy, or controlling; even if you are right. If she is directly asking you for advice about a problem, that's one thing, but dont ever offer your opinion of her male pals. Even if they are more than pals, prodding about them or dissing them is only going to drive her further into their arms.
7. Anything that hints at your "future"
Guys make this mistake early in dating. They find out things they have in common with her, and say "oh wow I love that too. We should do it sometime!!" This sounds good in theory, but it takes the challenge out of it for her. If you are only on the third date and you already have the next 5 dates suggested and penciled in, she knows she has you and the chase is over. Unfortunately so is your frame with her. Better to wait and spontaneously call her to go do that thing you both like at a later time.
6. Where your money is going.
She might have a general idea of what you make or know the value of certain bills, but unless you are married your money is NOT her business!! She doesn't need to know the bank hammered you with three overdraft fees this week because of your accounting error. She doesn't need to know how much you spent at your friend's birthday party, or how much you are making from your latest investment.
5. How many chicks YOU have slept with.
Never, ever, ever, under pain of death, tell a woman this information. Nothing good will ever come out of it, trust me. She will use it against you at a later date, whether the number be 2 or 92. Make up something outrageous like "oh, I'm nigh on 500. I was going to give you a t-shirt but you're only 498."
4. "Can I take you out sometime?"
Dont be a vag. Just say 'we should hang out sometime. Whats your number..'
Same goes for the first kiss. Men don't ask, they do it.
3. "So what do you wanna do?"
She's wants YOU to have a plan, stan. So have one. Say "I was thinking we could ________". If she doesn't like it, counter offer. If she still doesn't like it, go out with someone else and quit calling her.
2. Your fears and insecurities.
We all have fears and stuff we just arent secure with. This stuff is for your best friend and your mom, not your girlfriend. You need to be her rock, not her willow branch. Once you start telling her your personal insecurities and emotional fears, the beginning of the end has come. She may not leave you tomorrow, or even in a month, but this is like opening Pandora's box. The more you tell her, the more of a comfort-security bond you will feel with her, and the more you will be likely to spill further insecurities. Once she has a boyfriend who has disclosed all this, you cease to be the man and become the weakling she is looking for a reason to leave. I know, it sucks and it isnt fair. But your girlfriend is not your therapist. You have to talk about this stuff with someone else.
1. "Sooo, what are we?"
NEVER ask for exclusivity or fish for her feelings on the issue. If you have been dating for a good while (at least a dozen dates) and you still arent certain of where you two stand, it may be time to re-evaluate your interest in her or accept the reality of her interest deficit. If a woman is truly interested in you she will be the one to bring up the exclusive talk, in one way or another. It may not be direct, but if you listen to the cues you'll know.
Most veterans probably know these things, but they bear repeating. Some of these are from an old AskMen list, but I threw in a few of my own. Add to the list if you have any.
10. "I'll call you Friday".
...or any day for that matter. Telling her when you are going to call her does two things: it takes all the mystery out of the interaction, which women need, and it precludes HER from calling you because she is waiting for your call and she wont want to look desperate. Better to just say you'll talk to her soon.
9. "How many guys have you had?"
I don't even need to explain this, but never, ever, ever, ask this question for any reason, unless you happen to be a doctor conducting a sexual health exam. Trust me, you don't wanna know and it's not gonna make you feel better if you DO know.
8. Anything negative about her guy friends.
It makes you look insecure, needy, or controlling; even if you are right. If she is directly asking you for advice about a problem, that's one thing, but dont ever offer your opinion of her male pals. Even if they are more than pals, prodding about them or dissing them is only going to drive her further into their arms.
7. Anything that hints at your "future"
Guys make this mistake early in dating. They find out things they have in common with her, and say "oh wow I love that too. We should do it sometime!!" This sounds good in theory, but it takes the challenge out of it for her. If you are only on the third date and you already have the next 5 dates suggested and penciled in, she knows she has you and the chase is over. Unfortunately so is your frame with her. Better to wait and spontaneously call her to go do that thing you both like at a later time.
6. Where your money is going.
She might have a general idea of what you make or know the value of certain bills, but unless you are married your money is NOT her business!! She doesn't need to know the bank hammered you with three overdraft fees this week because of your accounting error. She doesn't need to know how much you spent at your friend's birthday party, or how much you are making from your latest investment.
5. How many chicks YOU have slept with.
Never, ever, ever, under pain of death, tell a woman this information. Nothing good will ever come out of it, trust me. She will use it against you at a later date, whether the number be 2 or 92. Make up something outrageous like "oh, I'm nigh on 500. I was going to give you a t-shirt but you're only 498."
4. "Can I take you out sometime?"
Dont be a vag. Just say 'we should hang out sometime. Whats your number..'
Same goes for the first kiss. Men don't ask, they do it.
3. "So what do you wanna do?"
She's wants YOU to have a plan, stan. So have one. Say "I was thinking we could ________". If she doesn't like it, counter offer. If she still doesn't like it, go out with someone else and quit calling her.
2. Your fears and insecurities.
We all have fears and stuff we just arent secure with. This stuff is for your best friend and your mom, not your girlfriend. You need to be her rock, not her willow branch. Once you start telling her your personal insecurities and emotional fears, the beginning of the end has come. She may not leave you tomorrow, or even in a month, but this is like opening Pandora's box. The more you tell her, the more of a comfort-security bond you will feel with her, and the more you will be likely to spill further insecurities. Once she has a boyfriend who has disclosed all this, you cease to be the man and become the weakling she is looking for a reason to leave. I know, it sucks and it isnt fair. But your girlfriend is not your therapist. You have to talk about this stuff with someone else.
1. "Sooo, what are we?"
NEVER ask for exclusivity or fish for her feelings on the issue. If you have been dating for a good while (at least a dozen dates) and you still arent certain of where you two stand, it may be time to re-evaluate your interest in her or accept the reality of her interest deficit. If a woman is truly interested in you she will be the one to bring up the exclusive talk, in one way or another. It may not be direct, but if you listen to the cues you'll know.
