10 Months In…things are getting serious….

[expos]

Thanks for all of the responses.

A few things to clarify:

This woman didn’t hit her stride, looks-wise until she was 30. She was overweight in her 20’s and as a child. She doesn’t even look like the same person. She grew up in a small community and didn’t have a lot of opportunities to find a guy “worth the time” (her words). So, she’s had a low partner count because of this. I do believe her, and she’s picky as hell.

I think what scares me the most is that she’s ready to leave her job and relocate to my area. We live 50 minutes apart. I left the town we both lived in to take my new job and we’ve kept our relationship going because honestly I haven’t met someone as good as her. I dated several women after my divorce and most of them were disasters. She’s talking about taking a job in my area, and I’m alway asking if “if I did not exist, would you still move here on your own?” I think a good test would be asking her to get her own apartment if she decides to move.

I’m not trying to beat my ex-wife to the altar. My ex-wife is a BPD whack job - and I find it absolutely embarrassing that she’s already getting married this quick after our divorce. I cannot imagine moving that fast with someone after going something as horrible as divorce and willingly throwing yourself back in to marriage (something she is clearly not good at). She’s miserable, I saw recent photos of her and she looks like absolute sh*t (Bradd80 can back me up). She gained all of her weight back, so it’s only a matter of time before her second marriage implodes. I heard that she lives with him and his mom so I imagine things are just WONDERFUL under that roof. I feel bad for my replacement.

To me, a year of dating is not enough to put a ring on someone’s finger. You can hide too much and still not show all of your colors. I’m not ready for marriage and I’ll make this clear to her if she asks again.

Thanks SS for keeping me sane.

 

[JohnnyStorm]

I think 10 months into a relationship is a perfectly valid time to assess whether this is a long term thing or not. At 40, she does need to know whether you just see this as a bit of fun or whether she needs to be looking for someone else. For a woman, these are valid concerns as there is undoubtedly a time limit to have healthy children.

Have you ever lived with this woman before? If not and you see some kind of future with her, then isn't this the logical next stage? She sounds like an honest, quality woman, and as a result doesn't really deserve to be messed around. Just be honest in your dealings with her and if you don't fanct moving your relationship to the next stage, then tell her and allow her to make up her mind.
Good luck bro!

 

[expos]

Have you ever lived with this woman before? If not and you see some kind of future with her, then isn't this the logical next stage?
Good luck bro!

I'm serious about her. I see a future with her. But my pace is just a little slower because I went through some bad sh*t and I'm not looking to go through a similar situation again.

I have lived with two woman. I lived with an ex-girlfriend from 2001 to 2004. I lived with my ex-wife from late 2008 to summer 2012.