FalconerRhine
Don Juan
- Joined
- Sep 19, 2004
- Messages
- 14
- Reaction score
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My first relationship (15 mos)just ended. I met this girl in HS and asked her to the prom. I got to know her and liked the fact that she seemed to have an interest level that was off the charts. She practically asked me out on our first date and held my hand on our first date. Mistake number one:
1) she told me that she had been sexually assaulted in the past and that was the reason why she needed to take it "slow". I felt so much sympathy for her. I felt bad for her. I felt as if I owed it to her to help her through her feelings.
2) she would never tell me that her parents wanted her home at a certain time(only child) - she'd purposefully get them pissed at her (and me) by coming home late and not calling to let them know where she was. Then, she eventually asked me to be her boyfriend and I said ok.
3) When I started college - I decided to stay with her even though she was still a senior in HS.
4) Shed come to see me on sundays at school. We'd never do anything except get ass from each other and get something to eat together. But, I limited myself to her - even though I had the opportunity to meet other girls etc. I still felt bad for her and that she needed me for support etc. I became complacent with the steady booty calls. I didn't do much accept my school work and see her once a week/once every other week. I hardly went to any parties or tried to meet new people. I once contemplated dumping her when she made herself unavailable for a few weeks straight - only to go back on my idea when she said "It was her parents who wouldn't let her come see me".
5)Her parents didn't want her to see me anymore - but she lied to them and told them she was going to work and instead came to see me at school. This was the first time we had sex, too. Interesting to note that she said she wanted to wait till she was married or until she was sure she found the right person before she had sex. That was about 4 months prior to us having sex. This incident with lying to her parents to come and see me blew up into a big fiasco. She told me that she "loved" me (after 6 mos. of being together) and that they'd never let her see me again, that her parents were total ass holes to her, and that she had no one else to turn to. And I BELIEVED HER!! I even stuck up for her infront of her parents when her dad said, "How can you respect my daughter, shes a liar!" I continued to stay with her after she put me in the middle of her lies.
6)WE continued to see each other once a week or once every other week 'till the end of my freshman year in college. Shed write me cards telling her how much she loved me and sent me candy. She even sent me a comb when I told her that I'd lost mine and that my hair was out of control. I'd listen to all her problems. Shed call me to "talk" very rarely. I never called her just to chat.
7) she never made me laugh and we never had a serious conversation about anything. It seems we'd always talk about how she felt about things.
8) Over the summer we continued to see each other once a week or once every other week. WE'd plan activities but it seemed like we just wanted to get ass from each other for the most part. I became complacent and started to figure that shed always be there till I got tired of her. I saw less and less of my friends and it seemed like the only time I'd go out would be with her. I didn't realize that I started to become attached to the idea of having a companion and a steady source of booty. I conned myself into believing that I should just be happy and stay with her forever because it would be easy and simplify my life. Heck - I thought she'd never leave me - SHE kept calling me to make plans.
9) She told me she loved me one night when we were alone togehter. I didn't say it back but thought to myself that this girl was here to stay no matter what.
10) She started college - lives on the same campus as me. Once we started this year shed tell me about the parties she went to, the guys she met, and all the stuff she was doing. She came over one night and we did what we usually do - get ass from each other. She kept saying "I love you" to me. But I didn't say it back. She wanted to go back to her dorm because here roomate would be gone and mine were around. She kept saying "I love you" and eventually grabbed me and said "DO YOU LOVE ME!!??" Unfortunately I said "Of course I do!". I left her room after she fell asleep.
11) I got a little ticked off at her when she said she was going to sit with people from her dorm at the football game insted of me and my bud. We were supposed to meet up that night after the game. When we did, she was furious. I said "What's wrong with you??" and she just kept walking away and I grabbed her arm. Then she said she wanted to break up. I asked if we could talk about it. She said "I never was happy when shed make plans to go out with other people. That she knew I cared about her but that I never said that I loved her - that she had to ask me if I loved her. She said it made her uncomfortable when I'd raise my voice (never mentioned prior to the breakup). She said shed been thinking about it for a month but finally got the courage to tell me.
12) I ran into her and asked her if we could "work it out" She said that she liked being on her own and that its nice not to be tied down - even though she admitted that I never tied her down. She said she didn't have another guy in mind and that she didn't think anything would happen - but wanted to be free just incase. She said she was busy and in a lot of new clubs. She said that I should call her to hang out or go to a party together. My biggest mistake was that I actually thought that I did "love this girl" and lost something.
After wondering what the hell happened I realized that I should have never entered this relationship. I got taken for a fool. I stopped improving as a person. I stopped hanging out with my friends all of the time.
This was quite the learning experince. Don't let people dump thier problems at your doorstep. Don't become complacent. Don't trust people unconditionally - no matter how sweet or innocent they seem. Don't respect people who put you in the middle of their lies. Don't feel like you have to be someones therapist or that you owe them something if they reveal something personal. Don't stop living your life or experiencing new things because you think its "good enough" as it is or because you think things will stay the same no matter what.
FalconerRhine
1) she told me that she had been sexually assaulted in the past and that was the reason why she needed to take it "slow". I felt so much sympathy for her. I felt bad for her. I felt as if I owed it to her to help her through her feelings.
2) she would never tell me that her parents wanted her home at a certain time(only child) - she'd purposefully get them pissed at her (and me) by coming home late and not calling to let them know where she was. Then, she eventually asked me to be her boyfriend and I said ok.
3) When I started college - I decided to stay with her even though she was still a senior in HS.
4) Shed come to see me on sundays at school. We'd never do anything except get ass from each other and get something to eat together. But, I limited myself to her - even though I had the opportunity to meet other girls etc. I still felt bad for her and that she needed me for support etc. I became complacent with the steady booty calls. I didn't do much accept my school work and see her once a week/once every other week. I hardly went to any parties or tried to meet new people. I once contemplated dumping her when she made herself unavailable for a few weeks straight - only to go back on my idea when she said "It was her parents who wouldn't let her come see me".
5)Her parents didn't want her to see me anymore - but she lied to them and told them she was going to work and instead came to see me at school. This was the first time we had sex, too. Interesting to note that she said she wanted to wait till she was married or until she was sure she found the right person before she had sex. That was about 4 months prior to us having sex. This incident with lying to her parents to come and see me blew up into a big fiasco. She told me that she "loved" me (after 6 mos. of being together) and that they'd never let her see me again, that her parents were total ass holes to her, and that she had no one else to turn to. And I BELIEVED HER!! I even stuck up for her infront of her parents when her dad said, "How can you respect my daughter, shes a liar!" I continued to stay with her after she put me in the middle of her lies.
6)WE continued to see each other once a week or once every other week 'till the end of my freshman year in college. Shed write me cards telling her how much she loved me and sent me candy. She even sent me a comb when I told her that I'd lost mine and that my hair was out of control. I'd listen to all her problems. Shed call me to "talk" very rarely. I never called her just to chat.
7) she never made me laugh and we never had a serious conversation about anything. It seems we'd always talk about how she felt about things.
8) Over the summer we continued to see each other once a week or once every other week. WE'd plan activities but it seemed like we just wanted to get ass from each other for the most part. I became complacent and started to figure that shed always be there till I got tired of her. I saw less and less of my friends and it seemed like the only time I'd go out would be with her. I didn't realize that I started to become attached to the idea of having a companion and a steady source of booty. I conned myself into believing that I should just be happy and stay with her forever because it would be easy and simplify my life. Heck - I thought she'd never leave me - SHE kept calling me to make plans.
9) She told me she loved me one night when we were alone togehter. I didn't say it back but thought to myself that this girl was here to stay no matter what.
10) She started college - lives on the same campus as me. Once we started this year shed tell me about the parties she went to, the guys she met, and all the stuff she was doing. She came over one night and we did what we usually do - get ass from each other. She kept saying "I love you" to me. But I didn't say it back. She wanted to go back to her dorm because here roomate would be gone and mine were around. She kept saying "I love you" and eventually grabbed me and said "DO YOU LOVE ME!!??" Unfortunately I said "Of course I do!". I left her room after she fell asleep.
11) I got a little ticked off at her when she said she was going to sit with people from her dorm at the football game insted of me and my bud. We were supposed to meet up that night after the game. When we did, she was furious. I said "What's wrong with you??" and she just kept walking away and I grabbed her arm. Then she said she wanted to break up. I asked if we could talk about it. She said "I never was happy when shed make plans to go out with other people. That she knew I cared about her but that I never said that I loved her - that she had to ask me if I loved her. She said it made her uncomfortable when I'd raise my voice (never mentioned prior to the breakup). She said shed been thinking about it for a month but finally got the courage to tell me.
12) I ran into her and asked her if we could "work it out" She said that she liked being on her own and that its nice not to be tied down - even though she admitted that I never tied her down. She said she didn't have another guy in mind and that she didn't think anything would happen - but wanted to be free just incase. She said she was busy and in a lot of new clubs. She said that I should call her to hang out or go to a party together. My biggest mistake was that I actually thought that I did "love this girl" and lost something.
After wondering what the hell happened I realized that I should have never entered this relationship. I got taken for a fool. I stopped improving as a person. I stopped hanging out with my friends all of the time.
This was quite the learning experince. Don't let people dump thier problems at your doorstep. Don't become complacent. Don't trust people unconditionally - no matter how sweet or innocent they seem. Don't respect people who put you in the middle of their lies. Don't feel like you have to be someones therapist or that you owe them something if they reveal something personal. Don't stop living your life or experiencing new things because you think its "good enough" as it is or because you think things will stay the same no matter what.
FalconerRhine