1 year into my first LTR

JasonF

New Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2006
Messages
4
Reaction score
0
Hey guys,

I'm a first time poster here.. I've been reading for a looong time and I think i've picked up a few things. I'm in HS, however the reason I didn't post on the HS forum, was cause i wanted the advice from some people who have gone through this and have a mature opinion to offer.

Here's the deal. I've been going out with my gf for almost a year. She used to be my obsession, on a complete pedestal. I'll admit I had no inner game in the earlier stages but lately, I think i've been much more at terms with myself, and I'm proud of my accomplishments that way. Everyone always says this, but this girl is almost perfect. She's very good looking, very smart, athletic, outgoing, loving etc. The thing with me is that I have incredibly high standards, but very little game when it comes to someone that meets those standards. Girls i have no interest in are always all over me, but when a girl I like comes around, I can't stop thinking about her. This girl loves me, and I love her (I don't think its puppy love anymore). We're best friends, and she means a great deal to me.

SO HERES THE PROBLEM:

Ever since I met her, my grades have gone down quite a bit. It's cause of inner game problems.. not cause of her. My priorities have just changed. I've never admitted this to her until tonight.

Side note: On my quest to don juanness, as my grades dropped, i realized that my grades really contributed to my ego. I judge my own value based on my accomplishments. Lately I've been starting to change this, and believe in myself no matter what... but I'm not quite sure it's a good thing. It creates complacency.

Anyway, so I talked to her about it.. many of you may say it wasn't a very don juan move... however although I may agree, it's been eating at me. Haha here's the kicker though... I have two tests tomorrow.. I'll probably be pulling an allnighter studying.. and she pretty much leaves halfway through the conversation cause its past her bedtime. Although i take the time to talk to her, sacrificing a lot more than her, she leaves half way through.

MY QUESTION IS:
What should I do?

I want to know from everyone, but especially from those of you with this kind of experience.

a) Dump her
Pros: Be able to focus on myself more, work on inner game, school, the works
Cons: Not very manly.. shouldnt a DJ be able to cope with his responsibilities?

b) See her less while working on inner game
Pros: Probably the right thing to do
Cons: I've been trying ever since i started going out with her.


I'd really appreciate hearing from you guys.
 

Cod3r

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 19, 2006
Messages
863
Reaction score
12
So you're going to dump her because she had to go to sleep ??

If you're sacrificing yourself (more than you can stand and more than she is for you) to be with her than you might want to reassess the relationship.

I have far too little information to give advice, but sounds like you are bored and want something new, I've been there. Dosen't matter how hot she is or how perfect she is, after a certain time-period the girl loses the novelty and naturally as humans we want the next conquest. IF real love is there, you stay on eventho the novelty wore off because you love them...

Sounds like you are at this point and are using irrelevant excuses to justify breaking up with her so you can not own up to the fact that you may have just left the best thing you have going for you...


-Cod3r
 

JasonF

New Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2006
Messages
4
Reaction score
0
maybe i'm a little bored. But having little experience of my own, I'm assuming that it's simply settling into the "comfort" zone. I don't think I'm using irrelevent data to make up an excuse for my actions. I will agree with you that she is the best thing going for me right now.

To simplify my post, here is the issue in my mind:

Inexperience and some lack of inner game on my part. I'm not taking care of my responsibilities, due to not caring about them.

What I'm trying to figure out is: What would help me more in the long run/short run? Not seeing her, and working on getting my **** together? or trying to fix these problems of mine while still in the relationship.
 

Cod3r

Master Don Juan
Joined
Jun 19, 2006
Messages
863
Reaction score
12
Your grades slipping have ZERO to do with her. It's completely in your control to change that, don't blame your fvck ups on her. Don't tell me its because you're spending all of your time with her or some other bs, YOU decided to balance your time in this manner... its your fault

What I'm trying to figure out is: What would help me more in the long run/short run? Not seeing her, and working on getting my **** together? or trying to fix these problems of mine while still in the relationship.
How about seeing her AND getting your shvt together ?? It's completely possible. You're in HS and you're complaining ?? I have a 60 hour a week job while taking 18 COLLEGE credits and STILL have time to be with my gf and maintaining a 3.5 GPA... stop complaining, life only gets harder


-Cod3r
 

JasonF

New Member
Joined
Dec 19, 2006
Messages
4
Reaction score
0
fair enough. i must have been a bit worked up... plus its late at night.

i admit its completely my fault, and i didn't ever deny it. my problem is i'm quite bad at multitasking, when she came into my life, i started thinking about her a lot, and my perceptions / priorities changed.

i've gotta just get my **** together.. ur post helped me realize that.. thanks.

i'll just play it cool and pretend like that conversation with her never happened.
 
Top