… Worrying about everything??

[European-DJ]

Hi Guys,

Lately (3-6 months) I have started worrying madly about everything, from my job, my studies to my girls.

I am constantly felling a sense of confusion, being stressed out over the smallest issues and basically not knowing what I am doing with myself.

It is the weirdest feeling, I simple DO NOT feel comfortable in my own skin – and this comes from what used to be the calmest, most non-worrying guy there is.

I am interested in knowing if anyone of you have had any similar experienced, and if so, how did you cope with it?

Regards,

European

 

[Tictac]

All that worry making anything in your life better?

Didn't think so.

Worry is useless.

 

[Serenity]

I am constantly felling a sense of confusion, being stressed out over the smallest issues and basically not knowing what I am doing with myself.

I am interested in knowing if anyone of you have had any similar experienced, and if so, how did you cope with it?

That's your problem right there. Are you honestly telling me that you don't know what you want? Clarify exactly what you want to yourself and fvck the distractions. When you don't have anything to focus on your mind goes looking for trouble because it needs stimulation. If you direct yourself you'll be more productive.

If you don't know what you want then do as I do and do nothing until you know what to do and you can't stand inaction. By inaction I'm not talking about watching TV or playing games, that's more distractions. I'm talking about literally doing nothing and sorting yourself out, you might not want to but you know you gotta do it.

 

[mangotot]

I understand exactly where the opening poster is coming from, having been tgroug it myself. In very simple terms, you are a very negative person. As harsh as it may be, that is ultimately your problem.

 

[JohnChops]

Hi Guys,

Lately (3-6 months) I have started worrying madly about everything, from my job, my studies to my girls.

I am constantly felling a sense of confusion, being stressed out over the smallest issues and basically not knowing what I am doing with myself.

It is the weirdest feeling, I simple DO NOT feel comfortable in my own skin – and this comes from what used to be the calmest, most non-worrying guy there is.

I am interested in knowing if anyone of you have had any similar experienced, and if so, how did you cope with it?

Regards,

European

I feel your pain brotha. Felt like this ever since the semester started. Just keep chugging through and get your stuff done.

 

[JohnChops]

All that worry making anything in your life better?

Didn't think so.

Worry is useless.

Thats all well and good TicTac but thats easier said than done? How do you stop worrying about failing an exam? not getting a job? slipping up in any aspect of your life? Theres no way to stop, unless you know a nice magic secret that you don't mind sharing

 

[Tictac]

Taking action out of fear means that that you doing something (e.g. contacting someone you have feelings for ) because you feel you NEED to do it. That’s why it’s called “neediness” and people who act from this “need” called “needy.”

The feeling that you NEED to take action (do/say something) comes from a place of fear. You unconsciously (or consciously) think that if you don’t take some action something negative will happen … she’ll lose interest… he’ll meet someone else… she’ll think you’re not into her… he’ll take you for granted etc.

People who take fear-based actions not only expect something in return (and have in their minds what, how and when) they also doubt and second guess themselves – a lot! They drive themselves crazy trying to figure out the exact right way to say/do something and “get a good/positive reaction”. But even after executing their carefully crafted words or calculated actions, they generally feel uneasy, anxious, worried, fearful… of something negative that’ll will happen.

 

[Albatross953]

I have exactly the same issue.

Professionally I use "remember the milk" religiously and look at my done list. It helps to say I did get stuff done.

Personally, I'm renovating an old house. I break down projects, and don't start more than one at a time.

With women, I take the advice here sometimes too literally. I've had losses lately, I think because I'm too aloof.

I've also tried to remember Rome wasn't built in a day...and that's fine as long as today was a good day.

 

[mikey2012]

best thing to do is not even waste time thinking about it. Either take action or dont. worrying is a waste of time.

 

[JohnChops]

best thing to do is not even waste time thinking about it. Either take action or dont. worrying is a waste of time.

to add to this I have an example.

I usually make elaborate plans to get things done during the day like okay im going to study this, and do it this way etc. And I think of all the different ways I can do something. This is stupid and never works. I end up contemplating on how to do something the whole day and nothing ever gets done. WHen I get most of my stuff done is when I just say screw it and dive into whatever I have to do whether it'd be studying or whatever. Your mind is your enemy, most of the time.

 

[Tomo]

Find a stress relieving outlet. You need something that will get the heart pumping, release the chemicals to relieve your stress; a type of escape if you will. When I feel I get to that point, I go for a surf. Anything nature seems to do the trick for me. There's something about being by yourself surround in awe that has that calming effect. If you're not close to the beach, go for a run in a secluded woods or somewhere.

The good thing is you've now recognised you've got a problem so you can work on it.

 

[GADavid]

I was a ****ing mess then starting lifting weights and exercising hard each day. It changed my life. If I go a few days without the release or intensity, my life falls apart in a hurry. I'm never too busy or too tired to workout because it is what allows me to function in all other areas. Yeah, it sucks at first. Then you wouldn't give up the clarity for anything.

 

[K_architect]

I have the same experience from graduating because of my fear of failing i kept over thinking everything to a point where nothing would ever get finished.

You simply need to change your mindset and allow yourself to fail. When i finally failed a project and lost halve a year it made me realize how insignificant my fears had been. I was still here i hadn't been kicked out of school people still wanted to be your friend, my parents weren't pissed at me (they where happy i even managed to get into uni since they never reckoned me to amount to anything) and my career didn't suffer one bit in the end.

 

[European-DJ]

Thanks

First of all, thanks to everyone who took their time to answer my thread, I highly appreciate it.

I have been looking into the issue, and found the article that TicTac had copy/pasted his reply from, and I must admit, looking into the theories about fear based decision I recognize myself. The only problem is, that they do not seem to provide any guidelines for how to cope with the problem.
I guess it is all down to insecurities and getting a better hold of the thought patterns I create in my head; at least having bad self-esteem/-confidence could explain why I constantly feel the obligation to figure out the exact right thing to do/say.

When I dig deeper into myself, looking upon my last six months from a bird’s perspective, I see more issues than those originally stated. I see not only my self-confidence being shattered; I see my social skills plunging as well. One guy on this board informed me about this website called “Your Brain On Porn”, and when looking into it, I must admit, that a lot of the “side-effects” from excessive porn use, are similar to the ones I am seeing. Perhaps I could be better off ditching porn for some time (even though I have sex regularly, I enjoy porno very much, sometimes even more than sex; probably due to the confidence issues I am currently experiencing ).

I will take the approach of dropping porn for a while, and adding some heavy exercise to my weekly schedule, in the form of lifting and cardio – since this issue is bothering more than I originally thought, I will create a new topic as soon as I resolve my issues, stating what helped me the most.

Hopefully, I will be back sooner than later,

Appreciate your help,

European