‘What’s the worst that can happen if you approach, Bro?’

[CornbreadFed]

The problem with @CornbreadFed is that he doesn't have any authority to speak because he (admits which is big, I admit) never did cold approach. And I say that from a rather positive and motivational perspective than a cynical one. Because for all we know he would KILL it with cold approach. So take that as a motivational push in the back.

I did cold approaching back in college and pre-pandemic. During the pandemic, I upped my OLD game and it was much more convenient and easier to meet women through that method, so I never went back. Y'all are romanticizing it and leaving out all of the bullshvt associated with cold approaching. This whole 100% success rate is pure BS. I prefer OLD for 3 solid reasons:

1) I am a black man that doesn't care for black women. Me approaching random non-black women out in the street means more pointless rejections because she does not want to date a black guy. Fine with me because on OLD I do not have to deal with this issue.

2). I lost desirability to go to clubs/bars when the pandemic happened. Sure, I don't mind going to lounges for date night or to hangout with friends, but it just not fun going as a thirsty single guy anymore. I would much rather stay at home, go to the gym, or do something else.

3). The convenience and ease of swipe apps. I can match and talk to women while working, at the gym, out with friends, taking a shvt, and etc. With Cold approaching, it's basically a part to full time job trying to make that work. I already have enough stress right now, so I do not need any more pressure from that.

 

[Gamisch]

I did cold approaching back in college and pre-pandemic. During the pandemic, I upped my OLD game and it was much more convenient and easier to meet women through that method, so I never went back. Y'all are romanticizing it and leaving out all of the bullshvt associated with cold approaching. This whole 100% success rate is pure BS. I prefer OLD for 3 solid reasons:

1) I am a black man that doesn't care for black women. Me approaching random non-black women out in the street means more pointless rejections because she does not want to date a black guy. Fine with me because on OLD I do not have to deal with this issue.

2). I lost desirability to go to clubs/bars when the pandemic happened. Sure, I don't mind going to lounges for date night or to hangout with friends, but it just not fun going as a thirsty single guy anymore. I would much rather stay at home, go to the gym, or do something else.

3). The convenience and ease of swipe apps. I can match and talk to women while working, at the gym, out with friends, taking a shvt, and etc. With Cold approaching, it's basically a part to full time job trying to make that work. I already have enough stress right now, so I do not need any more pressure from that.

I gave you a like but had to remove it again. I like how you clearly verbalize your reasoning, but I hate your victim mentality that I read in between the lines.

You're not gonna tell me that you get quality matches on OLD, but yet you NEVER get no IOI in real life. I get ioi everywhere I go, not every woman, but plenty. Latinas, white women, black women Arabic women ect. Doesn't matter what your race is if you are a DOPE guy. But oke, apparently you are one of the few men who feel like OLD is best, as it was intended to. Oke.

Yet I can't understand how ,like Venom actually said, the same woman who swipes right on you doesn't give you ioi in real life..

Unless you indeed don't mind dealing with the bottom of the barrel sub hb5 matches. Otherwise it doesn't makes sense. .

The point is that regardless if a man prefers OLD over cold approach or vice versa, he should be able to CHOOSE between them because essentially it's the same thing . Same goal, same result...

 

[CornbreadFed]

You're not gonna tell me that you get quality matches on OLD, but yet you NEVER get no IOI in real life. I get ioi everywhere I go, not every woman, but plenty. Latinas, white women, black women Arabic women ect. Doesn't matter what your race is if you are a DOPE guy. But oke, apparently you are one of the few men who feel like OLD is best, as it was intended to. Oke.

I get IOIs everywhere I go. I know it’s hard for some of y’all to believe but I don’t go out actively searching for pvssy. I go out to either fulfill a task or have fun with my friends.

Yet I can't understand how ,like Venom actually said, the same woman who swipes right on you doesn't give you ioi in real life..

An IOI is not a right swipe. IOIs can be subtle or easily mistaken for being friendly. You are mistaking IOIs with direct approaches which is something women tend to rarely do at all.

The point is that regardless if a man prefers OLD over cold approach or vice versa, he should be able to CHOOSE between them because essentially it's the same thing . Same goal, same result...

They aren’t the same thing at all. Idk how y’all can even consider this conclusion whatsoever.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I did cold approaching back in college and pre-pandemic.

During the pandemic, I upped my OLD game and it was much more convenient and easier to meet women through that method, so I never went back.

It is equally easy and convenient to meet women via cold approach.

When you are at home: OLD

When you are out & about: Cold approach

See that?

Y'all are romanticizing it and leaving out all of the bullshvt associated with cold approaching.

I ain't seen bullsh!t yet.

This whole 100% success rate is pure BS.

Nothing is 100%

Not even OLD.

I prefer OLD for 3 solid reasons:

1) I am a black man that doesn't care for black women. Me approaching random non-black women out in the street means more pointless rejections because she does not want to date a black guy. Fine with me because on OLD I do not have to deal with this issue.

You wanna know what is bs? You playing the race card when it comes to dating.

This ain't the 1950's bruh.

2). I lost desirability to go to clubs/bars when the pandemic happened.

Sure, blame COVID lol.

Sure, I don't mind going to lounges for date night or to hangout with friends, but it just not fun going as a thirsty single guy anymore.

As you were told before, there are more places to encounter women; not just at clubs and bars.

So that cop out won't work.

I would much rather stay at home, go to the gym, or do something else.

Yeah, and if that "something else" is in public, then you can cold approach..if you had the balls to do so.

3). The convenience and ease of swipe apps. I can match and talk to women while working

True.

, at the gym

You can cold approach at the gym.

, out with friends

You can cold approach while out with friends.

, taking a shvt

While you are taking a sh!t, you can also text a woman that you cold approached earlier and got her number.

With Cold approaching, it's basically a part to full time job trying to make that work.

Is it?

If I have to go to the grocery store, and while there I see a baddie also shopping and I approach her..that ain't a job or a chore.

That is easy and more importantly, CONVENIENT.

I already have enough stress right now, so I do not need any more pressure from that.

The approach anxiety is real, people.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

That makes zero sense

It is 50/50.

If there are 100 women who may reject you, then there are also 100 women who may accept you.

Who is saying she won't leave you on read when you text her to actually hangout?

Never happened to me, but I see your point.

Which is why I advocate giving her YOUR number instead of vice versa.

It is pretty easy to differentiate between a genuine profile and catfish profile. The only guys that complain about getting catfished on OLD are guys that suck on OLD and have to apply the hopium strategy to fat girls because of scarcity.

It wasn't easy to the guys that got caught up in the mess.

Plus, cold approaching is much more dangerous than OLD because you haven't vetted the girl at all. How do you know her beta male insecure boyfriend open carrying isn't around the corner? How do you know if this girl you just cold approached isn't crazy or a criminal? The other day I went to the store, saw a girl that caught my eye while shopping. While I was walking back to my truck, I noticed she was walking close to me and her car was some beat up Nissan Rogue with trash in the back parked at a handicap spot illegally. There's no way in hell I would've guessed that was her vehicle based on her appearance.

Vetted? What have you done to vet any of the OLD women you've dealt with?

All you know is what they put on their profile and you don't even know if the woman in the picture is the same woman you are communicating with.

There's some that do, but my current and past relationships from OLD did not.

And neither did most of my relationships from cold approach.

So your point?

Why would I care? I don't remember 99% of the profiles I swipe right on anyway. This is incel/blackpill thinking tbh.

You completely missed the point.

 

[f(x)]

Do not approach with the mind set of getting a number. Approach to develop your conversation and social skills.

This is the easiest thing in the world for me. I approach women of all ages every day. I am much more satisfied with CA than OLD.

Bear in mind I might be a sociopath, lol. Often thought of getting into local politics. I’m 46 and I was friends w Chad & his little brother growing up, so…

My challenge is in not catching a case of oneitis after I hit it raw.

 

[CornbreadFed]

When you are out & about: Cold approach

I don’t disagree, but I prefer just OLD

Sure, blame COVID lol.

what is blaming Covid? Bars/clubs got shut down for a few months and it made me realize that hunting at clubs/bars isn’t fulfilling to me.

If I have to go to the grocery store, and while there I see a baddie also shopping and I approach her..that ain't a job or a chore.

What if I don’t want to stop what I’m doing to appeal to some stranger at the moment? It’s a chore to me.

The approach anxiety is real, people.

God forbid someone exhibit a normal human behavior

If there are 100 women who may reject you, then there are also 100 women who may accept you.

Good luck finding these 100 women at the grocery store though.

Vetted? What have you done to vet any of the OLD women you've dealt with?

All you know is what they put on their profile and you don't even know if the woman in the picture is the same woman you are communicating with.

The OLD setting allows you to ask her more vetting/first date questions than a cold approach. If I cold approached a girl, am I really going to open up with so what are you looking for in a relationship?

 

[SW15]

An IOI is not a right swipe. IOIs can be subtle or easily mistaken for being friendly. You are mistaking IOIs with direct approaches which is something women tend to rarely do at all.

I have had this happen to me in real life approaching.

Most dudes getting thousands of rejections via OLD. And the funny thing after some time , some way somehow you actually feel these rejections as well. Because you might've seen let's say 20 women you'd like, yet none of them swiped on you apparently (I'm being modest by saying 20,might as well be 200). We all know that feeling....thats the moment when you delete the app feeling even more lost, only to return not knowing you are shadowbanned haha.

The swipe app experience is traumatizing. It's very difficult to swipe right on hundreds to thousands of women and get less than a 1% match rate. Then, there are the flakes and the "one date, no sex, no second date" interactions. It's all bad.

On top off all this, cold approach also means YOU decide which woman you'll talk to. On OLD most (I said most not all), men get to speak to the bottom of the barrel, or at least women they actually feel mweh about. But due the lack of anything else..they'll engage. That's why a 56 y.o woman without teeth nowadays has the nerves to swipe right on a 25 y.o 7-ish dude. Wont be her first and definitely not her last..

All true.

I am pro OLD for the average man, I do not think cold approaching works for every man.

If we are talking about the 5/10 average man with a median income, neither path will be pleasant. I think approaching strangers is a better option for that man, but he'll take some brutal in-person rejections. If he swipes, he'll takes more "digital" rejections.

1) I am a black man that doesn't care for black women. Me approaching random non-black women out in the street means more pointless rejections because she does not want to date a black guy. Fine with me because on OLD I do not have to deal with this issue.

I am a White man who primarily seeks White women. I am a bit of an ethnic White guy as an Italian-American. I have dark-ish, Southern Italian, Mediterranean look. That's not as commonplace as some White American guy with English, French, or Germanic ancestry.

It's often easier to date within one's own race/ethnicity than outside of it.

I can imagine that a Black man trying with White and Hispanic women would have more challenges.

I see how you are saving yourself in-person rejections with White and Hispanic women who aren't interested in Black men. I think you're in the Miami area, so it's more likely to be Hispanic women.

What are your thoughts on Afro-Hispanic women? There are tons of Afro-Caribbean Hispanic women around Miami.

With Cold approaching, it's basically a part to full time job trying to make that work. I already have enough stress right now, so I do not need any more pressure from that.

I agree that approaching strangers can feel like a 2nd part to full time job.

 

[corrector]

I did cold approaching back in college and pre-pandemic. During the pandemic, I upped my OLD game and it was much more convenient and easier to meet women through that method, so I never went back. Y'all are romanticizing it and leaving out all of the bullshvt associated with cold approaching. This whole 100% success rate is pure BS. I prefer OLD for 3 solid reasons:

1) I am a black man that doesn't care for black women. Me approaching random non-black women out in the street means more pointless rejections because she does not want to date a black guy. Fine with me because on OLD I do not have to deal with this issue.

You mean totally black or the one-drop rule black thing? I think day-game cold-approaching can be dangerous because if you approach the wrong "Karen" then they can outrightly call the cops, make up stories and land you in trouble fast. We also have the BBC sterotype going for you (while I sadly don't have one, I might indirectly benefit from that before the lady actually sees that) for women who are into that fetish.

Why is your alias Cornbread? Is that a reference to the Life movie (1999). That scene with the cornbread was funny.

3). The convenience and ease of swipe apps. I can match and talk to women while working, at the gym, out with friends, taking a shvt, and etc. With Cold approaching, it's basically a part to full time job trying to make that work. I already have enough stress right now, so I do not need any more pressure from that.

What is your match-rate? This really works well for you?

 

[corrector]

The swipe app experience is traumatizing. It's very difficult to swipe right on hundreds to thousands of women and get less than a 1% match rate. Then, there are the flakes and the "one date, no sex, no second date" interactions. It's all bad.

The website experience (pre-swipe app) was traumatizing enough with me (ie despite stricking it lucky in 2012 and having very limited encounters prior to that) that I couldn't bother even trying swipe apps as I was too burned out from the website. Now in 2023 I'm no longer burned out from the previous website experience and am more open-minded towards swipe apps.

Do swipe apps have profiles like websites? Allot of women looked at my profile but never sent a message, replied to my message, or if they did reply, it was with one lame sentance to be nice but you know they were not interested.

Are swipe apps more efficient than that and cuts over the nonsence of messages that are not replied to or getting lame reply messages? (ie if you get matches you get really interested women vs you are getting fake matches that lead to dead-ends)?

If we are talking about the 5/10 average man with a median income, neither path will be pleasant. I think approaching strangers is a better option for that man, but he'll take some brutal in-person rejections. If he swipes, he'll takes more "digital" rejections.

But is that different from website rejections? Allot of times I'd see if my message was sent, if it was open-read, if my profile was watched, etc.. and there was allot of guessing with it. Swipe apps are more efficient than this with less guess work? There was a more window-shopping vibe with the websites.

I am a White man who primarily seeks White women. I am a bit of an ethnic White guy as an Italian-American. I have dark-ish, Southern Italian, Mediterranean look. That's not as commonplace as some White American guy with English, French, or Germanic ancestry.

I am about just as much Italian as you are, but the minute you add black to the mix then its like the Italian side is undermined. When people hear my Italian name they assume I'm white but when they see me then I look more like brown and sometimes I get an innoscent reaction here or there. Have you ever visited Italy? Ironically my skin-colour as a "black" guy is more white than some dark ethnic Whites from southern Europe like yourself. You sound like @MatureDJ. Have you ever been misidentified as Arab/Middle-East or rejected by a prostitute because of being mis-identified by your race? Some dark-skinned whites get mis-identified as Arab and get rejected by them.

It's often easier to date within one's own race/ethnicity than outside of it.

It's often easier to date any race as a white guy. It's like allot of ethnics wants a white trophy boyfriend and white validation. You could be lacking here and there and still get a high quality ethnic.

I can imagine that a Black man trying with White and Hispanic women would have more challenges.

...or Asian, Filipina, and other Black women. Some Black women only date White guys. There are escort ads with Black women saying "no black men". However, I have seen Blacks with chubby Filipinas as of late. I subbed a Filpina escort on OF as she had pics with Black guys and thought she was into black men.

I agree that approaching strangers can feel like a 2nd part to full time job.

You don't sound like a happy camper with it.

 

[CornbreadFed]

You mean totally black or the one-drop rule black thing? I think day-game cold-approaching can be dangerous because if you approach the wrong "Karen" then they can outrightly call the cops, make up stories and land you in trouble fast. We also have the BBC sterotype going for you (while I sadly don't have one, I might indirectly benefit from that before the lady actually sees that) for women who are into that fetish.

Why is your alias Cornbread? Is that a reference to the Life movie (1999). That scene with the cornbread was funny.

yeah or you have the beta male white knight army come in and play captain save a hoe. Aside from that, I would rather get rejected on stuff I can control rather than something I can’t. Whether you get rejected on your race, height, lack of tattoos, or etc, the girl isn’t going to be upfront about it. These death by a thousand cut pointless rejections do add up and kill your confidence.

 

[corrector]

Whether you get rejected on your race, height, lack of tattoos, or etc, the girl isn’t going to be upfront about it.

Isn't that a benefit of cold-approach though? OLD feels like you are pigeonholing yourself in fixed categories. If I cold-approach someone and she likes me and we hit it off, then I might get rejected by that same person through OLD if she put a bunch of filters in, (ie I'm technically below 6 ft (ie if she wants at least 6 feet)), I'm 47 years old (ie but came across to her like I was in my early-mid 30s on the cold-approach), she put white on her OLD filter (whereas I was passable enough in cold-approach and she doesn't actually know where I'm from)....then that's already three catgories I would have been filtered out with. If I had some sort of magical tight-game, there is an unknown in her mind with all of those categories on a cold-approach. Once you run tight-game and get her laughing at your jokes her guard is down and she's thinking "this is a cool guy, I'd like to get to know him" then do you really think you would have had the same chance with this hb7+ if that was OLD?

These death by a thousand cut pointless rejections do add up and kill your confidence.

Yeah, I of all people get that.

 

[Jesse Pinkman]

Majority of cold approach and good game during the day is social awareness and knowing when not to open. It is why there are so many PUAs and "daygamers" who have 100s of approaches a month but little to show for it. The same dudes who sprint across a street to open women and have no idea of how weird they are coming across to everyone else in the vicinity. Good cold approach is being aware of your environment, blending in well with it, and then doing game in such a subtle way that people assume you and the girl already know each other.

 

[SW15]

Majority of cold approach and good game during the day is social awareness and knowing when not to open. It is why there are so many PUAs and "daygamers" who have 100s of approaches a month but little to show for it.

I believe in this a lot. Over the years of being a daygamer, I've probably passed on more approaches than I've taken. A lot of times, when I consider making an approach, I make strong eye contact with my target and smile at her. If she doesn't respond or appears distracted (phone, texting, earbuds, dog walking, etc.), I don't approach. I don't want to do low percentage approaches.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Isn't that a benefit of cold-approach though? OLD feels like you are pigeonholing yourself in fixed categories. If I cold-approach someone and she likes me and we hit it off, then I might get rejected by that same person through OLD if she put a bunch of filters in, (ie I'm technically below 6 ft (ie if she wants at least 6 feet)), I'm 47 years old (ie but came across to her like I was in my early-mid 30s on the cold-approach), she put white on her OLD filter (whereas I was passable enough in cold-approach and she doesn't actually know where I'm from)....then that's already three catgories I would have been filtered out with. If I had some sort of magical tight-game, there is an unknown in her mind with all of those categories on a cold-approach. Once you run tight-game and get her laughing at your jokes her guard is down and she's thinking "this is a cool guy, I'd like to get to know him" then do you really think you would have had the same chance with this hb7+ if that was OLD?

What you stated is extremely rare and the hope strategy IMHO. Here is the reality of a cold approach encounter based on my experience. Lets just say I execute my approach perfectly to a girl that would never consider dating a black guy, here are the possible outcomes.

1). Sorry I am not interested, or I have a boyfriend- This is just a nice way of saying hell no, gtf away from me...Very Likely

2). She is too scared to reject me in person and exchanges numbers. She either ghosts me or constantly flakes on meeting in person....Medium

3). Lets say she does give me a chance because I impressed her, and we go on a few dates. She is never going to have high interest in me and me dating her will be a constant uphill battle. If this girl naturally likes tall guys and you are 5ft 8, expect to her to wake up lol. Eventually things will go to shvt and I will be on sosuave red pilled or complaining about women like all of the other guys that applied the Disney Hope Strategy.

At the end of the day, it's not worth it. On OLD, a girl sees that I am black, 6ft, has a decent job, and well-travelled and I eliminate this whole barrier of BS upfront. The only thing OLD doesn't filter out that cold approaching does is that some of the women I butt heads with were looking for a more "black" black guy and I consider myself independent. However, I will take this con over the cold approach con.

 

[CornbreadFed]

Majority of cold approach and good game during the day is social awareness and knowing when not to open. It is why there are so many PUAs and "daygamers" who have 100s of approaches a month but little to show for it. The same dudes who sprint across a street to open women and have no idea of how weird they are coming across to everyone else in the vicinity. Good cold approach is being aware of your environment, blending in well with it, and then doing game in such a subtle way that people assume you and the girl already know each other.

Exactly, it's not just you are checking out at Publix and you see a hot girl, so you drop everything you are doing to approach her, get her number, and fvck her the same night. This is hollywood not reality. 20 years later, you are telling this story to your kids about "How I Met your Mother"

 

[corrector]

What you stated is extremely rare and the hope strategy IMHO. Here is the reality of a cold approach encounter based on my experience. Lets just say I execute my approach perfectly to a girl that would never consider dating a black guy, here are the possible outcomes.

1). Sorry I am not interested, or I have a boyfriend- This is just a nice way of saying hell no, gtf away from me...Very Likely

2). She is too scared to reject me in person and exchanges numbers. She either ghosts me or constantly flakes on meeting in person....Medium

3). Lets say she does give me a chance because I impressed her, and we go on a few dates. She is never going to have high interest in me and me dating her will be a constant uphill battle. If this girl naturally likes tall guys and you are 5ft 8, expect to her to wake up lol. Eventually things will go to shvt and I will be on sosuave red pilled or complaining about women like all of the other guys that applied the Disney Hope Strategy.

At the end of the day, it's not worth it. On OLD, a girl sees that I am black, 6ft, has a decent job, and well-travelled and I eliminate this whole barrier of BS upfront. The only thing OLD doesn't filter out that cold approaching does is that some of the women I butt heads with were looking for a more "black" black guy and I consider myself independent. However, I will take this con over the cold approach con.

You are meeting decent girls through OLD?

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I don’t disagree, but I prefer just OLD

I bet. Most guys who are afraid to approach women do.

what is blaming Covid? Bars/clubs got shut down for a few months and it made me realize that hunting at clubs/bars isn’t fulfilling to me.

Yup, Covid.

What if I don’t want to stop what I’m doing to appeal to some stranger at the moment? It’s a chore to me.

If you can stop what you are doing while you are at the home to go check your new match notifications on your phone, then you can stop what you are doing while shopping to talk to a baddie in aisle 4.

God forbid someone exhibit a normal human behavior

Says the guy who claims he used to cold approach.

Good luck finding these 100 women at the grocery store though.

Those women you see online; where do you think they go for groceries?

The OLD setting allows you to ask her more vetting/first date questions than a cold approach.

You can ask her those same questions on a cold approach.

If I cold approached a girl, am I really going to open up with so what are you looking for in a relationship?

As if those women who has "looking for a serious relationship" on their profiles won't hook up for casual sex with the right guy.

Don't be naive.

 

[CollegeMan22]

A lot of times, when I consider making an approach, I make strong eye contact with my target and smile at her.

What kind of smile are you making at her?

A smirk?

Or a full smile?

 

[MatureDJ]

Majority of cold approach and good game during the day is social awareness and knowing when not to open. It is why there are so many PUAs and "daygamers" who have 100s of approaches a month but little to show for it. The same dudes who sprint across a street to open women and have no idea of how weird they are coming across to everyone else in the vicinity.

About as weird as scooting up an escalator to open a chick.