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Just don't be on your own with it - you need to talk about it properly with people that you know will care. Depression can make you feel pretty isolated, so you need to do everything you can to counter that.

As far as I can see, the psychology of it is this: The problem with the first one is you're kind of asking for a commitment to meet before she has any real sense of who you are. You'd be better picking something out of her profile to get a conversation going, a shared interest or something...