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We are still having sex every time we hang out although she has been offering up some halfassed resistance which I have taken as a sign of declined interest as well as a **** test / frame test and handled as such. Regarding the declining attraction that is my fault for giving her too much of my...

Kind of agree here. Never been fully denied, just had some resistance which I have pushed trough. Feels wierd but like you are alluding to, not acceptable to be denied sex.

Thanks. Well in short, because she's not hot enough and extremly emotionally immature. Constant gaslighting because of her insecurities. This type of behaviour has been turning me off alot in the past, still does.

Thanks for sharing.

I was going to before we went to spend new years. Now I feel different. god I really sound like a guy who’s coping.

Would you mind giving some examplesof what you changed and how she responded? How did you put her in her place?

Talking about these different skill sets. What would be your approach in this scenario as opposed to what Sparta suggested?

I’ll try this out and keep you updated. Thanks for taking the time write an elaborate answer!

Well put, agree. So apart from nexting this person, what are your five cents on how to go about rectifying this situation? Pulling back on the sex part, dread game, keeping frame, i.e. not agreeing to make peace or silly demands and being generally attractive?

On point with the attachment style.

Really well put, this has been my mental model until the last couple of weeks. At first I allowed myself to make mistakes because I thought I have some leeway because the nature of the power position I've had in the relationship. After that I have due to some severe life stress somewhat lost...

Thank you. I get your point of objectifying and not feeling appreciated. Those things are ofcourse nessecary in a LTR. I may be of base here but my two cents about women and relationships is that respect and attraction are at the top of the list. Lose these two and whatever you do wont really...

Sure, most likely. Since like I said in the original post, I have been messing up for a couple of weeks. Forgot to mention in the original post. We both though she got pregnant at new years. Scare is now over, confirmed not preg, but this may play a part in testing or am I just coping?

What do you mean by this?

This was my thought process. Focus on being attractive, keep frame (i.e. not submit to concede more power to silly demands) and have her work for my validation and not the other way around. Not pushing for sex and like you said. And dread game, there has been plenty of that, not actively but...

I can but not someone I would consider for something long term. Also I'm one of those tin foils that wont date vaxxed ppl.

This post hits home. I have acted weak AF and am abit ashamed for it. Going for sex even tho I didn't even want it because I didnt want to be denied.

Used to be the case until 2 weeks ago.

Im happy with your input as well. You hit on important points that my ego does not want me to acknowledge.

Her feeling objectified by me sounds pretty on point here tbh. I’m actually really impressed with all of your input because your hit the nail on the head. She’s not been feeling valued at all by me the past year. Sure it’s your responsibility how you accept to be treated but that does not...