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Thanks mate, I've gone through rationale male and a lot of what was said in it lined up to my situation, so grasped the concept pretty well, but as you say I don't think it gives you much more than knowledge of the female mindset, which is obviously key but only part of the battle

Yea I guess it doesn't take a trained professional to work out there's probably some residue issues from being a child/teenager and feeling inadequate. The thing is I wouldn't say I lack self esteem, although I'm definetly better once I get to know people rather than from fresh. The...

Starting this post with the caveat I'm aware that I am in a position that I probably shouldn't be complaining about, even though the last 3 months have been some of the worst of my life. The short summary - I was in an LTR for seven years, have two children with the woman who I thought I would...

I was very much in the 'she'd never do that' camp but now I realise how wrong I was. I will stop caring but all very fresh, trying to focus on the moving forward but hard not to wallow at times.

Did a good job for a week, had to turn off the dating apps as somewhat unbelievably had more interest than my schedule/bank roll could handle. No contact other than when she messaged me about kid stuff. Went away for the weekend with my family and kids, she packed all the stuff for me to pick...

Harder to see when you're in it, much easier to see from the outside. The signs weren't there to start with she seemed like perfect wifey material, probably kicked in after our first kid. Started spinning my first plate tonight so that's a step in the right direction

All the warning signs were there, recently divorced best friend, two young kids so I got a bit to comfortable and took my foot off the gas. Assumed because of all the stuff she said in the past she'd never be one to do that kind of thing. My mate said why do you think she's some unicorn that's...

Yea I did put that in there and it was the case. She's ****ed me and my family over which I can never forgive her for. Recovery starts now. Hardest part will be having to see her on changeovers but will be purely transactional

Starting this now, added complication of 7 year relationship with two kids, we are rotating in and out of our house until January when our tenancy is up. Short summary of what happened, I noticed she was off as around July but put it down to moving house and job etc. When approached she said...

What are the next steps here? What can I do for the kids and myself?

I'm sure you will all be thrilled to hear I was wrong, found messages on her phone if her planning to cheat. She initiated. Said she doesn't love me anymore. Was my hands and move on. She didn't think that she would be able to come back from where she was feeling. On a separate note, guessing...

I think saying having 2 previous partners is a serious red flag is pretty far fetched, particularly in this day and age, given how far below the average it is. Having an underlying issue, I am not aware of, but obviously that doesn't mean there isn't one, but would hope it would have surfaced...

Give me a list of these red flags and I will tell you, but in all honesty, I cannot think of any before this point

I'm not saying it's a rational response, but there are factors beyond just us. We met when she was around 24, a few mid to long term boyfriends before that. Yes its diminished but she's still attractive and personable enough to meet someone else, or at least she will feel that is the case I...

Yep I'm trying to take all the stress off that I can, deal with the flat sale etc. I don't have an exit plan as of yet, but I think it will be good to think it through and come up with one

I appreciate the responses from everyone, I can't respond directly to it all, but will try and provide some further context. In regards to the general situation: We have moved because our eldest child is nearing school age and we didn't want to send them to school in the city we lived in. We...

This thought has definitely crossed my mind, but I think for me it has to be at the point that all other options are exhausted, as I couldn't look my children in the eye, knowing what happens to children from broken homes, and say I simply walked away. I have to do it without the expectation...

So I understand where you are coming from, and she is fully aware of the impact on the kids (they are mine) and it's one of the things she is terrified of if this doesn't end with us together. What I should probably have said is that she has stated her commitment to making this work and...

She doesn't decline to communicate, she's actually been quite clear about what she wants, why she's doing it and how she feels, just her approach is polar opposite to mine. Also she has been clear she knows how I feel and what this is like, but she just doesn't feel she can process it at the...

This is a tough one as we always had a bit of a way with this, like the whole relationship there would be times I'd give her a hug or such like and she'd pull away and give me a look like 'what are you doing' - but it was part and parcel of the relationship, so now it's just double guessing...