I figured out what's been bothering me.
I feel like I'm wasting my prime years. I feel like I hit my prime sometime in January and I fear wasting months, if not years of it. The guys who said "you don't have to get laid" are right, but I don't want that to make me content and complacent...
Me wanting to have sex has nothing to do with low self-confidence or wanting to "become a man" or be able to say to my friends that I'm not a virgin.
I'm not one of those guys on here that think "Wow I'm 18 (or whatever age), my friends have had sex and I haven't, there's something wrong...
I'll sum up my previous 25 years of living in one paragraph: I didn't have a chance. Low self-esteem, extreme social anxiety, extreme life-threatening depression and on top of that being "that guy"...the one a group of girls point out and laugh at or look at like he's planning to murder them...
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