Why Men Have Given Up On Dating Women

[JacquesMemoirs]

Well I am older than the 20 something crowd here but my dating life is overflowing with options.

 

[Gamisch]

If you don't want to be seen as disposable, then don't be disposable.

Most guys ARE disposable, so crying about the fact women are disposing of them isn't the problem, the problem is that they are doing nothing to change it.

I agree.

Most men are disposable, and once you ARE disposable you are at a minus 5 by default. You gotta be plus 5 to make any sorta dent in the game . That takes tons of times, effort and hard work and constantly changing/improving your mindset.

What makes one man less disposable than the next dude? That's seemingly the million dollar question that allows many "content creators" to make a living from male loniness and desperation.

 

[Gamisch]

Yes, learned helplessness is a really big and common problem. It’s tough because the guy doesn’t objectively “know” 100% if it’s over or there is still a chance waiting around the corner.

It would take a leap of faith (at a bare minimum) to continue around that corner.

I liked your post although I don't fully agree

Is there a chance to sleep with her after throwing a " hailmary"? Ofcourse. But it's should NOT be a place where you wanna be as a man. Regarding the topic of the thread, such a hailmary can and oftentimes will result in failure.

She gotta be chasing you. If you walk away and she doesn't bother to chase you it's over. And that's FINE.

Men tend to linger around too long, getting disappointed and thus end up going MGTOW because they are fed up with being disappointed.

Women are a great barometer to check where you stand in the game. Sometimes all a man needs to do is to keep on climbing the ladder instead of giving up on improving himself. Women are a byproduct, and the way they react to you as man is raw,but truthful.

 

[JacquesMemoirs]

I’m trying to imagine what you are doing wrong.

A lot of men must be disingenuous about their presentation, or just scared to show people who they really are inside, or not bold enough of a man, or maybe they’re lying to themselves, or confused about what type of person they are. You probably hide your most attractive attributes.

You can’t be incongruent because the women will reject you from a mile away in a snap. Even a 3 year old girl has the same intuition - they can just see the most minute details and instantly know if you’re a creepshow. You know? It’s built into females.

If you’re presenting yourself correctly then you will be experiencing an excessive amount of dating options just like women do - the inboxes will be overflowing so much you can’t even reply to them all.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

I know a few guys who have never approached or asked a woman out in person as they know it's a guaranteed rejection.

or get labeled/perceived as weird/creepy, uncomfortable just for making honest mistakes and women being able to get away with that

 

[JacquesMemoirs]

The creepy label is because you’re not living an honest life. Like you hide things. Maybe you look at porn. You jerk off. You do weird things. You are lying. You have dirty hands and dirty psychology.

You’re not living a clean life. You’re damaging yourself somehow. You’re lazy about things. You’re sneaking around. You’re doing things wrong, or spiritually off, and women’s response is giving you the creepy label.

Maybe your voice is off. The creepy label is also connected to a man’s eyes. It’s connected to the quality of a man’s skin. The manner that he walks. The ways he interacts in social situations. A lot creepy guys just have a certain dullness in their eyes, like they are lazy, and they are not properly dressed or socially calibrated.

Plenty of unattractive men are not creepy. If you look really good you can get away with more but even the best looking guys can throw it all away and find themselves being labeled a creepshow.

It’s just what women naturally do and should not be taken personally.

Women can identify the most minute information from a man’s eyes, his voice, his skin, his movements. They are designed to spot a creep from a mile away

 

[BaronOfHair]

Let those guys try dating the other man-babies they're still playing Dungeons&Dragons and attending Star Wars Cons with then...

A trip to The ER, so as to have a poorly lubed anus stitched back together, and a few months spent swallowing other dudes's semen just might revive their affinity for cooter

 

[Travel memoir21]

The goal is ultimately be content and try not to copy everyone else. You've really got to question who you are and question your beliefs but most of all your Dating Goals. What one guy's fantasy or outcome may not make you happy, but I know one thing for sure we must all not rely on women's validations for happiness and contentment. So yeah it's good to look at tactics in here for advise, but you must also taylor it according your personality and style for it to become authentic. You must also use it with great responsibility and try to leave the women you get involve with better than they were before.

 

[Barrister]

Generally agree.

Over the years, I have desired sex more than anything else. My sex has slowed a little bit in the last 5 years or so, but it is still very high right now in my early 40s.

I find it easier to focus on the rest of my life when I am having sex.

Sex is often my focus.

I can imagine men would give up when they can't get sex from a reasonably attractive woman.

Some men only have sexual options with subpar women and they'd have to put in more effort for that sex with a subpar woman than it is worth.

That's impressive you’re that honest with yourself and I think if we’re all being honest this is true to an extent. The happiest I’ve ever been in my life is when I feel like I’m playing with house money. When I feel that way I find I am performing best not just in my job but also dating. It’s a common thing across my life. And generally, the more sex I’m having with different women the more I feel this way.

It may be a chicken and egg thing but I agree with you that in periods of time where my sex has drastically slowed (end of an LTR), I generally feel like my life is also stuck in a rut. The two are fairly linked. So - while not “focusing” on sex, when I’m having more of it I’m doing better in life. This probably isn’t some epiphany.

 

[SW15]

That's impressive you’re that honest with yourself and I think if we’re all being honest this is true to an extent. The happiest I’ve ever been in my life is when I feel like I’m playing with house money. When I feel that way I find I am performing best not just in my job but also dating. It’s a common thing across my life. And generally, the more sex I’m having with different women the more I feel this way.

I actually missed a word in that post above. I meant that my sex drive has slowed in the past 5 years, but I still have a high drive. My sex frequency has been consistent.

It is easier to focus on the rest of my life when I am having sex. In times when I am not having sex, my life feels less focused. It's also more difficult for me as a guy who practices no masturbation and no porn. I am motivated to approach and find sex when I don't have a good rotation or 1 woman at a minimum.

Having sex with 2+ women at a time feels even better than 1. The worst feeling is 0. 0 to 1 is a huge difference whereas 1 to 2 is less of a difference.

It may be a chicken and egg thing but I agree with you that in periods of time where my sex has drastically slowed (end of an LTR), I generally feel like my life is also stuck in a rut.

I dislike that feeling. I have felt it.

The two are fairly linked. So - while not “focusing” on sex, when I’m having more of it I’m doing better in life. This probably isn’t some epiphany.

So true. In my experience in white collar work, it makes it easier to deal with the bullcrap of white collar work when getting laid.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

The creepy label is because you’re not living an honest life. Like you hide things. Maybe you look at porn. You jerk off. You do weird things. You are lying. You have dirty hands and dirty psychology.

You’re not living a clean life. You’re damaging yourself somehow. You’re lazy about things. You’re sneaking around. You’re doing things wrong, or spiritually off, and women’s response is giving you the creepy label.

Maybe your voice is off. The creepy label is also connected to a man’s eyes. It’s connected to the quality of a man’s skin. The manner that he walks. The ways he interacts in social situations. A lot creepy guys just have a certain dullness in their eyes, like they are lazy, and they are not properly dressed or socially calibrated.

Plenty of unattractive men are not creepy. If you look really good you can get away with more but even the best looking guys can throw it all away and find themselves being labeled a creepshow.

It’s just what women naturally do and should not be taken personally.

Women can identify the most minute information from a man’s eyes, his voice, his skin, his movements. They are designed to spot a creep from a mile away

yeah, somethings i'm sure will always be the same

 

[Solomon]

I know a few guys who have never approached or asked a woman out in person as they know it's a guaranteed rejection.

This is nonsense. How do you know you will get rejected if you don't try?
You have to have the mindset that you will win and even if you don't, take it as a learning experience. Rejection isn't the end of the world. Rejection actually teaches resilience, your ability to adapt on the fly and learn, your tenacity. This is something lacking in modern men and I'm not just talking about tenacity with women but in regards to life in general
The times I use to think "Oh she won't like me" that was times where I was trying to psych myself out, and as you think you shall become this is why it's important to keep that negative self-chatter to a minimum it's toxic to your overall metal health and success.

You're not gonna get every girl but the more you try, and learn to adapt eventually you will find success.

The game is harsh and yes you will get rejected a lot but all it takes is one approach, one situation to go right and it's a dopamine rush unlike any other. If you ever approached a woman and made it happen you know what I'm talking about

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

This is nonsense. How do you know you will get rejected if you don't try?
You have to have the mindset that you will win and even if you don't, take it as a learning experience. Rejection isn't the end of the world. Rejection actually teaches resilience, your ability to adapt on the fly and learn, your tenacity. This is something lacking in modern men and I'm not just talking about tenacity with women but in regards to life in general
The times I use to think "Oh she won't like me" that was times where I was trying to psych myself out, and as you think you shall become this is why it's important to keep that negative self-chatter to a minimum it's toxic to your overall metal health and success.

You're not gonna get every girl but the more you try, and learn to adapt eventually you will find success.

The game is harsh and yes you will get rejected a lot but all it takes is one approach, one situation to go right and it's a dopamine rush unlike any other. If you ever approached a woman and made it happen you know what I'm talking about

They've been on first dates with women who told them directly that they don't have a connection/spark. This is what they told me. They figured no women would want them after this, I guess.

 

[Solomon]

They've been on first dates with women who told them directly that they don't have a connection/spark. This is what they told me. They figured no women would want them after this, I guess.

Ok I see we are talking about 2 different things, I'm talking about approaching a woman initially, you're talking about they are already on the date.

Well yeah statically speaking most first dates don't lead into a 2nd one (it's only 25% tops per various studies I have seen recently) You can't avoid that, for whatever reason it may be, this is why meeting various women and having various options allows you to have higher chance of success

It's a numbers game

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

Ok I see we are talking about 2 different things, I'm talking about approaching a woman initially, you're talking about they are already on the date.

Well yeah statically speaking most first dates don't lead into a 2nd one (it's only 25% tops per various studies I have seen recently) You can't avoid that, for whatever reason it may be, this is why meeting various women and having various options allows you to have higher chance of success

It's a numbers game

How many men generally do you think have that option?

 

[Solomon]

How many men generally do you think have that option?

I don't know nor am I focused on other men's options, I'm worried about mine, call me selfish call me an ******* but I have put in the work over the years and continue to do so. Most men who struggle refuse to even do the minium hence my empathy for modern men is low. I have literally "Coached" guys for free, including on this site who refused to do the work. So now I focus on myself

 

[CheekyMonkey101]

I don't know nor am I focused on other men's options, I'm worried about mine, call me selfish call me an ******* but I have put in the work over the years and continue to do so. Most men who struggle refuse to even do the minium hence my empathy for modern men is low. I have literally "Coached" guys for free, including on this site who refused to do the work. So now I focus on myself

What would you say most men need to do in order to be successful?

 

[john1234]

1). The decline of the third place/meeting women at work and rise of online has put a lot of men at a disadvantage. I will be completely honest and say that it takes a certain type of man to succeed in online dating/cold approaching while the majority of men will be completely left out. The avenues these guys found women historically have declined and it takes more effort to break into these circles with the reward being mysterious. In addition, a lot of men are going to the internet for advice and being brainwashed by gurus and monetary social manipulators.

2). Men are not being raised as men anymore. Today, it is okay for boys to embrace Hermit Hikikomori traits such as being glued to a screen, never leaving the house, not being productive, and bam thinking he can be an attractive male to women at age 18 or whatever because he woke and watched some Kevin Samuels snip it and went to the gym. Umm, no that is not how it works, and you are so behind men that did not do rot decades of their life being a Hermit.

Who told you this?

 

[Smok1nAce]

women today are pump and dump dumpster for lesser men

theirs a reason why all these rich men nowadays have foreign wives

and I’m sure that will become novelty at some point

will probably get to a point where certain women are bread legally for wifey material

 

[Solomon]

if your weren't broke you wouldn't be worried about this horsehyt

I have noticed the guy is using the same talking points fat-twitter-incels use, you can tell he has no idea what's really going on, and is a keyboard warrior reciting twitter narratives when it comes to dating