Why Men Have Given Up On Dating Women

[MatureDJ]

Don’t want to sound like a broken record, but a lot of it js height and hair ... If a man lacks that, he won’t even get into the game.

It's OVER for ShortBaldCels.

 

[SW15]

It's OVER for ShortBaldCels.

The most successful seduction student of all time is a 5'6" man who was balding at the time he started studying pickup and seduction.

Circa 2000, Neil Strauss was around age 30, 5'6", and was balding. He had a Ivy League bachelor's degree and had some career accomplishments since his 1991 graduation. He had written for the New York Times and Rolling Stone. He co-wrote Marilyn Manson's 1998 autobiography and co-wrote Motley Crue's autobiography in 2001. Despite his status as a music journalist, Ivy League graduate, and good financial situation from solid earnings from his high profile journalism work, he had struggled to get attention and get laid with women. He was an incel/borderline incel.

Strauss was quite successful in learning concepts of seduction and applying them in real world settings. He went from being ignored by women to being able to have sex with many women.

Most students of seduction are not nearly as successful as Strauss. He was outlier level in terms of his success in applying learnings.

 

[Redwood]

Not MGTOW or anything, but I have stopped caring for a minute. I want to focus more on what I'm really trying to do, and dating is a distraction.

 

[Solomon]

Again it depends on the age of the woman, but I don’t think it’s mindset holding men back. Don’t want to sound like a broken record, but a lot of it js height and hair, After a man has that, then other attributes are important. If a man lacks that, he won’t even get into the game.

Now when we talk women, we are talking hot young women under 30 with 0 divorces and 0 kids. If you want to f a single mother in her 40s, then yes, mindset is important and height and hair is not.

I disagree

You're basically saying mindset depends in regards to success on the type of quality woman you are approaching basically putting her value over yours.

As a man your mindset is based on you, Height/Hair/Money etc none of that means anything with women unless you have the mindset as a man first to be willing to succeed even if you fail. This means taking intentioal action, and if the outcome doesn't go your way, you try again. If the outcome does go your way great. Even if the outcome doesn't go your way as long as you learn from it and are willing to try again. That's a major factor, a lot of men nowadays lack resilience and dedication. The fact that your'e thinking that is all about hair and height subconcously you're already setting yourself up for failure cause you look at women under 30 with no kids and no marriage as the prize(hence putting them on a pedestal)
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The mindset of any successfull guy with women is that he's the prize, and I'm saying this from expertince, regardless of the woman's value. This isn't to say that height/hair etc doesn't matter but before you get in the game, you have to have the mindset that you will win(or at least learn). Some examples of bad mindsets that a lot of men have is fear of rejection or social interactions hold guys back from pursuing women. Negative self-talk, self-doubt, and bad experiences can destroy confidence, making it harder to approach potential partners. These can all kill a postive or motviated mindset with the quickness. To say that men aren't suffering from negative or bad mindsets, is like a fat woman calling herself a "10" on a Redpill podcast.

Have you noticed that successfull people tend to hang around other successful people why do you think that is? Successfull people tend to graviate towards each other and understand surrounding yourself with postive and motivated individuals can boost your mindset and help you get to the next level(wheter it's women, business, life, etc). Successfull people understand to get to the level that they want takes hard work, dedication and perservancer. To have this type of resolve it takes a mindset that is focused not just on results but embacing the journey of learning, striving and improving.

When I read posts from men who sturggle today with women compared to 15 years ago. I don't get that vibe that men are focused on embracing the journey of learning, striving and imprvoing. It's quickly becoming a lost mindset

 

[MatureDJ]

Not MGTOW or anything, but I have stopped caring for a minute. I want to focus more on what I'm really trying to do, and dating is a distraction.

FocusCope.

 

[Vanderdonck]

How do you explain dead bedrooms then?

As in sexless?

In most cases that means the woman is getting D elsewhere. Either she lost attraction for him because of his behavior or he stopped putting in effort. Perhaps a small percentage are the woman losing her libido for psychological or biological reasons. Otherwise trust me, they will find a D if you're not supplying it.

 

[Redwood]

FocusCope.

It is what it is

 

[SW15]

FocusCope.

Generally agree.

Over the years, I have desired sex more than anything else. My sex has slowed a little bit in the last 5 years or so, but it is still very high right now in my early 40s.

I find it easier to focus on the rest of my life when I am having sex.

Sex is often my focus.

I can imagine men would give up when they can't get sex from a reasonably attractive woman.

Some men only have sexual options with subpar women and they'd have to put in more effort for that sex with a subpar woman than it is worth.

 

[SW15]

Unless they were homeschooled or attended an all-male high school, these 18-25 year old dudes went to high school with plenty of female classmates (and many 18-25 year old dudes are either in college or at least attended college)

They've had plenty of opportunities to ask out the opposite sex.

The homeschool and the all-male high school audiences are different audiences.

Over the years, I've met more males that have attended all-male high schools vs. the homeschooled. On this forum, @MatureDJ still talks about attending an all-male high school in the 1980s. The experiences of an all-male high school can have a long term negative effect.

I'll start this talking more about the effects of an all-male high school.

In most US cities with all-male high schools, there's an all female high school nearby. The all-male high school and the all-female high school in the same area have a relationship. Sometimes, there are socials between the 2 schools. The socials are about once a month, which cannot compensate for a lack of daily interaction on campus.

If a male goes to an all-male high school, his sexual success during high school is going to be mostly dependent upon the network he's built during the K-8 years. If his elementary and junior high experiences had numerous females, he's better positioned. If he has a slightly younger sister (1-2 grade levels younger), then he'll have more interactions with females. Without a slightly younger sister or a good K-8 network (usually built from being in the same school/school feeder pattern), he's going to find 4 years at an all male school to be quite difficult. It might even take him years to recover from that after high school. Showing up at a co-ed college/university isn't going to make him ready to seduce right away.

I'm less familiar with the homeschool audience. From what I know about homeschoolers, they tend to have good social networks through activities (after school sports, etc.) or even their church participation. This tends to happen out of necessity. Some homeschoolers can be socially awkward, but that seems less common. Having a younger sister matters less for homeschoolers (since the younger sister is also likely homeschooled too).

I think both audiences have difficulty adjusting to a co-ed college/university if they go to one after high school. Males from neither of these audiences tend to be the best on campus seducers at college. In fairness, a lot of males who went to co-ed high schools often struggle in the college sex environment, but the co-ed high school males are better positioned for social success.

Homeschooled males and all-male high school males are a smaller percentage of males in general. Most males went to a co-ed high school.

There are a multitude of reasons 45% of 18-25 year old dudes haven't asked out a member of the opposite sex in person. The idea that they haven't been in positions to meet a member of the opposite sex, however, isn't the explanation.

Agree. It's mostly the influence of technology in Generation Z and the latter part of the Millennial generation. You are a late Millennial so you saw this. Most earlier Millennials like me asked out women on dates by age 20 or so.

 

[H8CourtshipWithAPassion]

well i think there are more men today than ever before who surpass their mid-20s and older and have never been in a relationship before

 

[Skyline]

If you make your kid do home schooling then you are a r*tard. They will finish school with little to no networks and bad social intelligence. The more time a child spends with their parents the more they start to not act their age. Sometimes they will get stuck in a teenager mindset despite being in their 30’s. This is because they don’t interact with other kids their age.

I agree with some of those statements but it really boils down to most women not being worth your time because they have no reason to improve when the majority of men are terrible.

 

[Redwood]

well i think there are more men today than ever before who surpass their mid-20s and older and have never been in a relationship before

Sad state of affairs, but there should be a silver lining somewhere...

 

[Isildur1]

1). The decline of the third place/meeting women at work and rise of online has put a lot of men at a disadvantage. I will be completely honest and say that it takes a certain type of man to succeed in online dating/cold approaching while the majority of men will be completely left out. The avenues these guys found women historically have declined and it takes more effort to break into these circles with the reward being mysterious. In addition, a lot of men are going to the internet for advice and being brainwashed by gurus and monetary social manipulators.

2). Men are not being raised as men anymore. Today, it is okay for boys to embrace Hermit Hikikomori traits such as being glued to a screen, never leaving the house, not being productive, and bam thinking he can be an attractive male to women at age 18 or whatever because he woke and watched some Kevin Samuels snip it and went to the gym. Umm, no that is not how it works, and you are so behind men that did not do rot decades of their life being a Hermit.

Lol the second point hit home to me , was exactly how I was

 

[MatureDJ]

If you make your kid do home schooling then you are a r*tard. They will finish school with little to no networks and bad social intelligence. The more time a child spends with their parents the more they start to not act their age. Sometimes they will get stuck in a teenager mindset despite being in their 30’s. This is because they don’t interact with other kids their age.

I agree with some of those statements but it really boils down to most women not being worth your time because they have no reason to improve when the majority of men are terrible.

There are other ways to acculturate. I went to an all-boys high school , but maybe that was a good thing since high-school these days is totally brutal for sub-Chads.

 

[MatureDJ]

I can imagine men would give up when they can't get sex from a reasonably attractive woman.

This has by far been the most difficult quest in my life.

 

[Smok1nAce]

Both genders are being lied to for corporate profit and there powerless to do anything about it.

Society is every man and women for themselves.

 

[SW15]

How do you explain dead bedrooms then?

Dead bedrooms occur in longer term relationships where the woman has reduced interest in the man with whom she is long term partnered. Over time, men tend to become more beta in interactions. That loss of frame does reduce genuine burning desire. It's even worse when the man is more beta as a starting point in the interaction and then becomes even more beta over time.

A woman in a dead bedroom relationship is interested in sex but not sex with her longer term partner.

This has by far been the most difficult quest in my life.

Plenty of men would say that, but they tend to be Millennial or Gen Z. It's more unusual for a late Boomer/early Gen X man to say that.

Most of the men born in the early to mid 1960s had an easier time getting sex/relationships than you have had.