Best Response When Your Date Cancels

[Sega Genesis]

"Okay cool, thanks for letting me know."

That's it! Do not act frustrated, pissed off, guilt trip, call her out etc etc.

This comes from Blaine Anderson (female), a professional dating coach. Are any of you guys familiar?

This article was in my feed this morning and thought it was pretty spot on!

The 7-Word Text Message to Send if Someone Cancels Your Date

Blaine Anderson, a professional dating coach, has revealed the simple and easy text message to send someone if they cancel their date with you. Dating in 2025 is tough. While there's a seemingly endless supply of matches in dating apps like Hinge or Raya, it's difficult to actually have a...

www.yahoo.com

 

[Jor-El]

Sounds like reasonable advice to me

 

[Solomon]

Depending on the situation

If there is no Hard counteroffer (i.e. I'm free Tuesday night at XXPM)

Then I respond with

"OK"
No response (and block and delete number)​

If I really fancy her

"Let me know when you're free." (and leave the ball in her court)​

From personal experience, if a woman doesn't offer a HARD counter-offer, usually no date will happen anyway. No reason to get pissy and cuss her out, Just be chill and nonchalant about it. Remember these BOP's in 2025 are saving all text messages so they can post it in weirdo groups like "Are we dating the same guy" Nowadays if a woman cancels on me or flakes I view it as she saved you money and more importantly time!

 

[Dr_jitsu]

"Okay cool, thanks for letting me know."

That's it! Do not act frustrated, pissed off, guilt trip, call her out etc etc.

This comes from Blaine Anderson (female), a professional dating coach. Are any of you guys familiar?

This article was in my feed this morning and thought it was pretty spot on!

The 7-Word Text Message to Send if Someone Cancels Your Date

Blaine Anderson, a professional dating coach, has revealed the simple and easy text message to send someone if they cancel their date with you. Dating in 2025 is tough. While there's a seemingly endless supply of matches in dating apps like Hinge or Raya, it's difficult to actually have a...

www.yahoo.com

AS a general rule, and unless you receive a serious counteroffer, delete her number and move on. You have many other phone numbers and are dating other women, yes?

This applies to the first few dates. 4 is a good number. Now if you have been seeing a gal for 2 months and having lots of great sex then a canceled date (with a good reason) is not a relationship breaker.

 

[Sega Genesis]

AS a general rule, and unless you receive a serious counteroffer, delete her number and move on. You have many other phone numbers and are dating other women, yes?

I don't agree with bolded @Dr_jitsu .

Yes, you should have other phone numbers and options, which is precisely why there is no need to act so impulsively and emotionally and delete/block her number.

Which IS an emotional reaction indicating you're butt hurt on some level.. It's what I would think (and have thought when it happened) when I've had to cancel a date unexpectedly. And didn't immediately know when I'd be available.

Not only that but not all women know they're "supposed" to offer an immediate counter offer and it's possible her reason is legit and she will reach our in a few days and want to get together.

That's on her.

Why not just leave it open? I am talking about the first few dates.

In the meantime, whether she reaches out or not, after saying what Blaine Anderson advised, do not contact and simply carry on with your other options.

This shouldn't really be a big deal should it? That you need to immediately delete her?

Again I don't get that. It sounds a bit like a bruised ego.

JMO

 

[BackInTheGame78]

That's good advice, but I take it a step further and that has worked well for me.

If they don't give me a counteroffer, I'll say something like:

"OK cool. But just to clarify, are you wanting to cancel or reschedule?"

Their answer to that usually lets me know what to do with their number.

If it's some excuse about not knowing what their schedule is going to be like etc I assume no interest and delete the number.

If they say something along the lines of they do want to meet up and want to reschedule then I'll say "OK, I'm down to reschedule but ball is in your court".

That way they know if they want to meet me, it's on them to make something happen and that I'm not going to be chasing them around trying to get them on a date.

It's subtle, but it conveys the message I want to convey.

Usually they will either make a date with me right there or will get back to me within a few days with a date and then I can decide what to do from there.

 

[The Duke]

Forget about her is the correct answer.

I can't remember a time when a girl cancelled on me and ever reached out again. I'm sure I've asked a couple hundred out.

 

[Sega Genesis]

I just want to say that as a woman, I do like the response from @Solomon "OK, let me know when you're free."

And what @BackInTheGame78 posted. It's quite direct but it's strong.

Then leave it, the ball is in her court!

In fact there were times even if/when my interest was lukewarm, him being so cool about it actually increased my interest!

Early stage dating is such a crap shoot and definitely requires flexibility, a chill attitude and thick skin!

Same for women!

 

[SW15]

Are any of you guys familiar?

I have posted a video from Blaine Anderson before. While she might have good advice from time to time, she is a fish trying to teach men to catch fish. Men need the advice of a fisherman in catching fish.

This is the video you've mentioned in the first post.

- YouTube

Enjoy the videos and music you love, upload original content, and share it all with friends, family, and the world on YouTube.

www.youtube.com

Forget about her is the correct answer.

True. Canceling a date is a low interest move.

My preferred response to this would be no response.

I can't remember a time when a girl cancelled on me and ever reached out again. I'm sure I've asked a couple hundred out.

I can't either. Why would she? In most cases, she has enough abundance. She's forgotten about the man she's cancelled on within a day.

From personal experience, if a woman doesn't offer a HARD counter-offer, usually no date will happen anyway.

Agree

 

[Sega Genesis]

I have posted a video from Blaine Anderson before. While she might have good advice from time to time, she is a fish trying to teach men to catch fish. Men need the advice of a fisherman in catching fish.

I would agree except the majority of men who post here are not successful at catching fish.

You have said so yourself.

I dunno why not try something new on? Like not making unfounded assumptions, again her reason might be perfectly legit and she will reach out in a few days?

If you block/delete you won't ever know and just assume she's a flake, just saying.

As I said and I would venture to guess Blaine Anderson feels the same, a man being so cool about it while still holding his frame is extremely attractive and it's been known to increase my interest!

 

[SW15]

I dunno why not try something new on? Like not making unfounded assumptions, again her reason might be perfectly legit and she will reach out in a few days?

A woman with genuine burning desire for me is not going to cancel an early stage date with me without good reason.

I have also disliked how impersonal cancellations have become. Text messages stink. I've never liked how much of early stage dating has been moved to text messaging.

I want to interact with a woman with genuine burning desire for me, not one who is going to send a text message canceling randomly within hours of an early stage date.

 

[Sega Genesis]

A woman with genuine burning desire for me is not going to cancel an early stage date with me without good reason.

I want to interact with a woman with genuine burning desire for me.

A genuine burning desire? Before a first date? Or second? That's quite a requirement so early in but okay.

 

[Solomon]

I don't agree with bolded @Dr_jitsu .

Yes, you should have other phone numbers and options, which is precisely why there is no need to act so impulsively and emotionally and delete/block her number.

Which IS an emotional reaction indicating you're butt hurt on some level.. It's what I would think (and have thought when it happened) when I've had to cancel a date unexpectedly. And didn't immediately know when I'd be available.

Not only that but not all women know they're "supposed" to offer an immediate counter offer and it's possible her reason is legit and she will reach our in a few days and want to get together.

That's on her.

Why not just leave it open? I am talking about the first few dates.

In the meantime, whether she reaches out or not, after saying what Blaine Anderson advised, do not contact and simply carry on with your other options.

This shouldn't really be a big deal should it? That you need to immediately delete her?

Again I don't get that. It sounds a bit like a bruised ego.

JMO

I know you're talking about the first few dates, and in that regard, I do agree with you on that point, There is no pushback there as in my experience if you have been on several dates/hangouts with a woman usually I give them the benefit of the doubt

In my experience, women who tend to flake usually do so 90% on date 1, and 10% on date 2. Not saying flaking doesn't happen down the road, however, for me personally, if a woman flakes before the first date it usually rarely pans out for a reschudle. One thing I have learned is not to waste my time trying to get another date if a woman doesn't offer a counteroffer, as the situations end up them "slow ghosting" you or "breadcrumming" or doing both.

If she flakes before the first date. I don't think deleting her number is an "emotional reaction," if you value your time why would you waste if it with a woman who flakes and ghosts? especially before the first date? Why give someone with poor behavior the chance to do so again if you hardly know them?

One thing I've learned is that even if a woman flakes within the first 2 dates,it sets a tone that you're ok with bad behavior. Humans we consciously try to push boundaries, and one thing I've learned about women is if they feel they can push you enough, eventually it turns into disrespect. Flaking/Ghosting right away sets a precedent for disrespect. This is why the old school Sosusave rule of waiting a week to hit a woman up never jived with me. Even if by some miracle you scored the date or the bang. The input in regards to the output is seldom worth the results. To me it was always needy behavior. The last time I did this messaging a woman after a month. She ended up sobbing whilst in bed because she wasn't over a previous hook up, that happened a month before me(surprise surprise)

If a woman flakes after dating a couple of months or longer. I'm more prone to give her the benefit of the doubt, especially if we have been hanging out i.e. spending time at hers, or mines.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

A woman with genuine burning desire for me is not going to cancel an early stage date with me without good reason.

I have also disliked how impersonal cancellations have become. Text messages stink. I've never liked how much of early stage dating has been moved to text messaging.

I want to interact with a woman with genuine burning desire for me, not one who is going to send a text message canceling randomly within hours of an early stage date.

She doesn't even know you, how could she have that for a person she doesn't know the first thing about?

 

[Sega Genesis]

One thing I have learned is not to waste my time trying to get another date...

I agree and it's not what Blaine Anderson suggested.

She only advised to be chill about it and then leave it. Don't reach out again, don't chase.

The ball is in her court. Did you read the article?

I dunno, if you have abundance not sure what the huge deal is that you have to delete her? Seems extreme.

Become indifferent to it meaning no reaction at all including deleting and carry on.

If/when she reaches out and wants to get together, decide then if that's what's YOU want.

 

[SW15]

A genuine burning desire? Before a first date? Or second? That's quite a requirement so early in but okay.

She doesn't even know you, how could she have that for a person she doesn't know the first thing about?

It's possible that she is into my physique and my charisma from our initial interaction. She perceives she needs to spend at least part of an evening with me. The evening with me is the highlight of her day.

In my experience, women who tend to flake usually do so 90% on date 1, and 10% on date 2.

This would be my experience as well.

 

[Solomon]

I agree and it's not what Blaine Anderson suggested.

She only advised to be chill about it and then leave it. Don't reach out again, don't chase.

The ball is in her court. Did you read the article?

I dunno, if you have abundance not sure what the huge deal is that you have to delete her? Seems extreme.

Become indifferent to it meaning no reaction at all including deleting and carry on.

If/when she reaches out and wants to get together, decide then if that's what's YOU want.

I didn't read the article ha ha. I just responded, anything I say is based of my own experiences. I will say currently I'm seeing just 1 woman and that's by choice. I was juggling 3 last summer and that became to tedious as my time is limited working an average of 50-70 hours a week. One woman was always upset and eventually we had to part ways.

I will say me deleting a woman's number is not out of "butthurtness" or "Ego" it's a matter of me not being tempted and hitting her up on a random Saturday night after the bar (been there done that) Remember I'm talking about deleting women's number before a first date I haven't met yet. Most likely a woman from that avenue I met through swipe apps.

Being indifferent is key you're right hence one of the biggest things you can do is walk away with your dignity. I do not care to hear from a woman who flaked on me so why does it matter? and if I do hear from a woman who flaked on me before the first date, she is either coming to my bedroom or she is paying. It is what it is

 

[BackInTheGame78]

It's possible that she is into my physique and my charisma from our initial interaction. She perceives she needs to spend at least part of an evening with me. The evening with me is the highlight of her day.



This would be my experience as well.

If you talk to her the way you write posts she might get an early night's sleep

 

[Sega Genesis]

and if I do hear from a woman who flaked on me before the first date, she is either coming to my bedroom or she is paying.

^^Fair enough but if you delete her, you won't know if she tried to reach out or not... hence you lost the opportunity for her to come to your bedroom and pay!

Not all last minute cancels are flakes, some are legit, shyt does happen sometimes. Could be so many things.

But okay gotta do what's best for you..

 

[BillyPilgrim]

There's more fluff in this thread from OP that a circus full of cotton candy.