Do you wanna have kids?

[BackInTheGame78]

I'll be turning 41 in less than two weeks and I would have at least two kids, maybe three.

Don't do it...no kid wants to have people calling you grampa when he is 12 and has to correct them that it's his Dad.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Sure, however The divorce rate has never been worse! And divorce rape never was a thing.

Because people stayed in unhappy marriages and just cheated.

 

[sangheilios]

@New_Journey and @The Duke

We are in really weird times now in the west for sure. Marriage and traditional family life has been under attack for quite a long time now and we are now starting to see the effects of this.

I've discussed this with @Manure Spherian but when I was growing up by the time I was in my teens it was UNUSUAL for the parents of other kids to still be married. I grew up in an upper middle class area, but you'll find that this was an incredibly common trend across white America at the time. I am of the belief that when children go through things like this it creates a form of trauma that it creates difficulty with forming relationships. Basically, you have an entire generation of young adults that struggle to create and maintain relationships OR they even outright avoid them all together. The former is due to some personal unresolved trauma that lead to stunted development, the latter may either be a conscious or unconscious decision to avoid being hurt, disappointed, etc. Speaking for myself, the divorce my parents had was quite intense. With this said, the boomer generation is to blame for this and there are/were many things going on with them that @The Duke touched upon, which was putting self interest above what may be best for the family.

Interestingly, concepts like "hookup culture" started becoming a trendy thing to talk about by the late 2000s/early 2010s, which is when people my age became adults. Around this time we also saw social media explode and a bit later we saw dating apps take over the scene, which just added fuel to the fire. These lined up and arrived right at a time where a traumatized and stunted generation came of age, coincidence or not?

There are a lot of other economic and cultural trends that took place over this time period where we see people delaying marriage and children. I also believe that there is most definitely a trend towards prolonged adolescence as well. It's very common to see men approaching 30 who still behave similar to that of a college frat boy lol, I'm talking things like smoking weed daily or spending hours playing video games. Women are also prioritizing career and education over family and children, which further delays these traditional milestones. The stunted men and career obsessed women are a very bad combination with our society right now. Many of these career women are honestly incredibly entitled and think they are way better than they actually are. Due to the sheer volume of stunted/low quality men, they actually become increasingly more fussy/picky. The end result is that you have huge numbers of both men AND women that are chronically single.

I will add, I believe that A LOT of women deep down have no real interest in men, family or children until it's way too late. As I've discussed with @SW15 many will have what I call "last call babies" as they approach their 40s while still being single and childless. Women in our society have become brainwashed into prioritizing career and attaining high educational status at the expense of having a family. Interestingly, women in high positions in business actually have HIGHER rates of unhappiness and less life satisfaction, whereas men in the same position are actually happier and more satisfied compared to their male peers. Basically, women are not in line with their natural programming and thus confused, unhappy, etc.

All of what I'm mentioning here we can see with our demographic trends and the direction they are going over the coming decades.

The biggest and most concerning thing that I see is that the only people having children it seems like are the legitimately stupid ones or women that have children completely out of wedlock with no serious boyfriend. It's going to be very interesting to see how this all lines up but it's going to be an absolute disaster.

 

[New_Journey]

@New_Journey and @The Duke

We are in really weird times now in the west for sure. Marriage and traditional family life has been under attack for quite a long time now and we are now starting to see the effects of this.

I've discussed this with @Manure Spherian but when I was growing up by the time I was in my teens it was UNUSUAL for the parents of other kids to still be married. I grew up in an upper middle class area, but you'll find that this was an incredibly common trend across white America at the time. I am of the belief that when children go through things like this it creates a form of trauma that it creates difficulty with forming relationships. Basically, you have an entire generation of young adults that struggle to create and maintain relationships OR they even outright avoid them all together. The former is due to some personal unresolved trauma that lead to stunted development, the latter may either be a conscious or unconscious decision to avoid being hurt, disappointed, etc. Speaking for myself, the divorce my parents had was quite intense. With this said, the boomer generation is to blame for this and there are/were many things going on with them that @The Duke touched upon, which was putting self interest above what may be best for the family.

Interestingly, concepts like "hookup culture" started becoming a trendy thing to talk about by the late 2000s/early 2010s, which is when people my age became adults. Around this time we also saw social media explode and a bit later we saw dating apps take over the scene, which just added fuel to the fire. These lined up and arrived right at a time where a traumatized and stunted generation came of age, coincidence or not?

There are a lot of other economic and cultural trends that took place over this time period where we see people delaying marriage and children. I also believe that there is most definitely a trend towards prolonged adolescence as well. It's very common to see men approaching 30 who still behave similar to that of a college frat boy lol, I'm talking things like smoking weed daily or spending hours playing video games. Women are also prioritizing career and education over family and children, which further delays these traditional milestones. The stunted men and career obsessed women are a very bad combination with our society right now. Many of these career women are honestly incredibly entitled and think they are way better than they actually are. Due to the sheer volume of stunted/low quality men, they actually become increasingly more fussy/picky. The end result is that you have huge numbers of both men AND women that are chronically single.

I will add, I believe that A LOT of women deep down have no real interest in men, family or children until it's way too late. As I've discussed with @SW15 many will have what I call "last call babies" as they approach their 40s while still being single and childless. Women in our society have become brainwashed into prioritizing career and attaining high educational status at the expense of having a family. Interestingly, women in high positions in business actually have HIGHER rates of unhappiness and less life satisfaction, whereas men in the same position are actually happier and more satisfied compared to their male peers. Basically, women are not in line with their natural programming and thus confused, unhappy, etc.

All of what I'm mentioning here we can see with our demographic trends and the direction they are going over the coming decades.

The biggest and most concerning thing that I see is that the only people having children it seems like are the legitimately stupid ones or women that have children completely out of wedlock with no serious boyfriend. It's going to be very interesting to see how this all lines up but it's going to be an absolute disaster.

I don't know man, but the way the trend goes with the divorce rate, the bad court system for fathers plus the incentives of social groups rooting for divorce, plus the brainwashing in the educational system and saying to women they can have everything, I don't see anything like a good deal to me apart from the sentimental in forming a family, its better to spin plates forever and live the best life you can.

Because honestly, I just want people to mention reasons for having children in this era.

 

[plumber]

I can't resist... just go passport bro if you want kids.

Laws and cultures are different, perhaps less advanced other places and closer to family first. Still going to have to be smart, and can have issue. But at least a chance does exist, its a decent chance. Maybe there is issues about the setups, but there is issues about any setup.

Having kids in USA, its going to be and is a challenge. Setting a new spirit into that cess pool always seemed bad to me. I changed my mind after learning that other cultures take care of kids. Its nice as it relates to that.

 

[New_Journey]

I can't resist... just go passport bro if you want kids.

Laws and cultures are different, perhaps less advanced other places and closer to family first. Still going to have to be smart, and can have issue. But at least a chance does exist, its a decent chance. Maybe there is issues about the setups, but there is issues about any setup.

Having kids in USA, its going to be and is a challenge. Setting a new spirit into that cess pool always seemed bad to me. I changed my mind after learning that other cultures take care of kids. Its nice as it relates to that.

Where would you go? Give me examples that you've seen.

 

[BadBoy89]

What Duke said above, he doesn't want kids for his "strong desire for freedom and fun." that is the only logical argument.

The other responses "I wouldn't have kids in this era, I don't want to deal with courts, I don't want to deal with baby mama drama, etc" these are emotional arguments.

Suppose a man was a millionaire. He could easily find a younger mother to give him a child, if he don't want to deal with her after, he could pay her off. He could send his kid to private school with the best teachers. He could hire the best nannies around the clock to handle his dating life. Everything dealing with outside sources that bother him could be dealt with if he was rich.

So essentially the question should be "Can you use your brain to invent something to get rich enough to have kids?"

 

[New_Journey]

Suppose a man was a millionaire. He could easily find a younger mother to give him a child, if he don't want to deal with her after, he could pay her off. He could send his kid to private school with the best teachers. He could hire the best nannies around the clock to handle his dating life. Everything dealing with outside sources that bother him could be dealt with if he was rich

Are you retarded? Nobody in here is a millionaire, neither are you, so stop the mental masturbation.

 

[BadBoy89]

Are you retarded? Nobody in here is a millionaire, neither are you, so stop the mental masturbation.

Look how emotional you get from one word. Boy you got way bigger problems that worrying about having kids,

 

[jhonny9546]

men shouldn't have baby fever, that's a feminine emotion

I'm Italian, cannot understand it well, what does this precisely mean in this scenario?

after learning that other cultures take care of kids

Which one?

 

[Travel memoir21]

I don't know man, but the way the trend goes with the divorce rate, the bad court system for fathers plus the incentives of social groups rooting for divorce, plus the brainwashing in the educational system and saying to women they can have everything, I don't see anything like a good deal to me apart from the sentimental in forming a family, its better to spin plates forever and live the best life you can.

Because honestly, I just want people to mention reasons for having children in this era.

Why don’t you get a remote job in a developing nation and start a family there?

 

[Plinco]

Don't do it...no kid wants to have people calling you grampa when he is 12 and has to correct them that it's his Dad.

Why do you put so much weight on what others think about you? How do you expect to gain the respect of others if you don't respect yourself?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Why do you put so much weight on what others think about you? How do you expect to gain the respect of others if you don't respect yourself?

You don't have kids, so you wouldn't understand

 

[New_Journey]

Why do you put so much weight on what others think about you? How do you expect to gain the respect of others if you don't respect yourself?

Well said, a man ashamed of who he is, is death . Noticed how @BackInTheGame78 mentioned what other people will think about him, and how ashamed he will feel for people calling him grandpa, and not potentially sickness when he gets to that age, the lack of energy or incompatibility of generations. Ha beetaaaaaa

Why don’t you get a remote job in a developing nation and start a family there?

That's a cover contract, if I get a remote job in a developing contract, I'll have a great family. Do you have real life examples of that working out? Cause everything is just ideas, and no real life results.

 

[New_Journey]

Look how emotional you get from one word. Boy you got way bigger problems that worrying about having kids,

You think expressing emotions is a bad thing or shameful, midget?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Well said, a man ashamed of who he is, is death . Noticed how @BackInTheGame78 mentioned what other people will think about him, and how ashamed he will feel for people calling him grandpa, and not potentially sickness when he gets to that age, the lack of energy or incompatibility of generations. Ha beetaaaaaa



That's a cover contract, if I get a remote job in a developing contract, I'll have a great family. Do you have real life examples of that working out? Cause everything is just ideas, and no real life results.

Hilarious the people with no kids have the most to say and the least amount of knowledge.

Usually the case with most things tho.

 

[pipeman84]

Don't do it...no kid wants to have people calling you grampa when he is 12 and has to correct them that it's his Dad.

You don't have kids, so you wouldn't understand

What's there more to understand than you being insecure and afraid of some 12yrs old bullies? There are so many things they could pick on, the age of the father is a drop in the bucket.

 

[Plinco]

You don't have kids, so you wouldn't understand

I'm willing to bet that you're hiding from a contradiction in your convictions by claiming to save yourself from some lengthy explanation.

I just got back home, and on my way home I stopped by an auto parts store. There was a young lady waiting for a job interview. It was hard to tell how old she was because she was petite but also had a serious adult expression. I'm guessing ~19 or so. I struck up a three minute long conversation with her. Mind you I'm turning 41 next week, and I haven't shaved in almost a week so I looked scruffy. I'm old enough to be her father and that didn't stop me from hitting on her.

 

[New_Journey]

Hilarious the people with no kids have the most to say and the least amount of knowledge.

Usually the case with most things tho.

What is there to know? The whole premise of your statement for not having kids is because they call you grandpa cause of your age and is seems to offend you so much, hence you statement. If people's opinions offend you that much, that's not being your own mental point of origin and you're on other people's frame, brah. Do Better G

 

[Pandora]

Why do you put so much weight on what others think about you? How do you expect to gain the respect of others if you don't respect yourself?

Having kids in your early 40s is not a big deal. My dad had my sister at 44 and she never once felt like he was grandpa. I never looked at him as an old dad while he was raising my sister. These guys act like you cant still look decent at 50 yrs old wtf. Your kid will stop wanting to hang out with you by the time they are 12 anyway lol.