lots of woman friends, but no attraction?

[Clockwerk50]

Can you explain what you mean by self absorption? ... And also "slightest ambiguity as a betrayal" ? Both sound like things that might pertain to me.

im def not the other things you mentioned, besides possibly "impatient" and definitely not mysterious.

OTOH though I feel like mode one is pretty similar to being 'impatient' if the girl is not into you..

I’m not only talking about impatience or the other traits you mentioned. There are additional anti-seductive qualities like insensitivity, inattention, talking about yourself too much, or other traits that could also be playing a part. To clarify your questions:

Self-absorption refers to being so focused on your own thoughts, needs, or concerns that you're not fully tuned in to the other person or their feelings. For example, when you're overly concerned about how you come across, or focusing too much on your own desires and ego, you may miss subtle cues or signals from others, which is very unappealing. In seduction, the key is not to be consumed by your own ego but to give attention to the person you're trying to connect with. When you're too absorbed in your own world, you can inadvertently create a barrier that makes it hard for others to connect with you.

As for "the slightest ambiguity as a betrayal," this refers to a tendency to interpret even the smallest lack of clarity in interactions as a personal slight. If you're overly sensitive to changes in behavior or signals, you might overreact and assume someone’s backing off or pulling away when it could just be a momentary shift in their attention. This can create unnecessary tension and push people away, making you come across as insecure or overly reactive.

In your case, you might be too self-focused in getting a girlfriend instead of paying attention to the subtle details that could help you build more meaningful connections.

Nonetheless, women don’t want to **** the guy that is always there and not give them tingles. Your luck may vary at different venues where you will be labeled as that “amazing dancer”.

 

[New_Journey]

^ I have male friends too I just (lately) prefer hanging out with attractive woman who have BF's. How is that humiliating myself?

I'm gonna put this intro perspective, don't be offended, its just how you are perceived by HVM. You are the typical snake, who convers himself into the friendship with hopes of something happening, you have no business hanging out with married women or with boyfriends, unless you wanna fvck them (no judging), cause I assure when you are drinking with them and if they give you some opportunity you will fvck them.

If they tell you their problems, they're using you as emotional tampon which the biggest display of lacking in masculinity, this is very humiliating , you might think you are gaining something, but in reality you are just wasting your time.

I hope you're trolling.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

I'm gonna put this intro perspective, don't be offended, its just how you are perceived by HVM. You are the typical snake, who convers himself into the friendship with hopes of something happening, you have no business hanging out with married women or with boyfriends, unless you wanna fvck them (no judging), cause I assure when you are drinking with them and if they give you some opportunity you will fvck them.

If they tell you their problems, they're using you as emotional tampon which the biggest display of lacking in masculinity, this is very humiliating , you might think you are gaining something, but in reality you are just wasting your time.

I hope you're trolling.

I’m around these people (willing or not) 3-4 days a week. I don’t “hope” something happens w some of them who have been dating for 2-3 years and talking about marriage.

 

[Manure Spherian]

a pussie beggar who ends up taking whatever similarly aged scraps he can get.

***** beggar or a man who gets his SMV match, low or mid SMV with low or mid SMV?

I have a big social circle where all the women I are married, so I used to go there with my girl, now that I'm single, some of the girls have given me clear indications to fvck, fvcking crazy how some women don't know what loyalty is.

Having a robust social life is THE way to go for meeting and attracting women, I believe. All that sh-t about, “It's a numbers game," "ya gotta put in the work," "ya gotta do X amount of approaches," "rejection is part of the game," and pounding the pavement like cold-approaching madman don't pertain to men with robust social lives.

^ I have male friends too I just (lately) prefer hanging out with attractive woman who have BF's. How is that humiliating myself?

There's nothing wrong with this, but it certainly isn't conducive to attracting a woman for yourself.

besides possibly "impatient" and definitely not mysterious.

Likely all womanless men are impatient and stressed the hell out. Being womanless is highly stressful and alienating.

 

[maturin]

“Just grind 80 hours a week and at 35 you’ll have to fight women off!” Oh wait, now the age of womanizing will be 50. “At 50 you’ll be most attractive to 18 to 25 year old women. Think of it bro. 401k, all sortsa cars and toys, vacationmaxxing, a home.”

Yeah this is a joke. Its good flat line advice for a 19 year old, indoctrinated with BP notions of romantic courtly love. This is rich cooper's mantra which is misleading. Build it and they will come. No they won't. .cooper provides the blue print on positioning oneself as a provider. Maybe it's OK to find a girl to marry you on her terms. It's terrible advice on the whole. It transactional putting resources at the forefront. Cooper is a one trick pony in this respect. My guess is he was a typical normie 20 years ago. I'm aware he was with single mothers and had an awakening.

 

[Manure Spherian]

Yeah this is a joke. Its good flat line advice for a 19 year old, indoctrinated with BP notions of romantic courtly love. This is rich cooper's mantra which is misleading. Build it and they will come. No they won't. .cooper provides the blue print on positioning oneself as a provider. Maybe it's OK to find a girl to marry you on her terms. It's terrible advice on the whole. It transactional putting resources at the forefront. Cooper is a one trick pony in this respect. My guess is he was a typical normie 20 years ago. I'm aware he was with single mothers and had an awakening.

I once viewed an interview with Michael Sartain in which he said, "Now that I'm in my forties..." The way to never be womanless is to start early. I was a womanless man all throughout high school. When I met my first girlfriend in college who wanted to screw me every time we saw each other, I did not have a penny to my name! She had what the manospherians call GBD, genuine burning desire. She did not care about my bank account. She actually once said, "I want you to brag about the bl0wjobs I give you to your friends. I want them to know you get better ones than they do."

Two of the most memorable flings I had, I do not think I spent a grand total of about 150 bucks on each. I did not pay for first and most dates. Both paid for first dates (I also had several internet-dating first dates in which women paid for me). One treated me to a steakhouse dinner for my birthday. Both loved sex with me and said so. When I met the first one from the internet, I drove to her home to meet her for the first time. After some talking, we started feeling each other and she said, "If you pull it out, I'm gonna have to blow you." I'll also add on to what I also received for free: back and nude full body massages and body shaving. One said, "Whenever you need a BJ, just tell me." Again, no cost. In fact, both made more than me at the times I spent with them.

My wife met me when I made FIFTY percent of what I make now.

Status helps immensely, and sometimes that involves money, but there are woman out there who will or do just want YOU!

 

[SW15]

***** beggar or a man who gets his SMV match, low or mid SMV with low or mid SMV?

It depends. There are low to mid SMV men matching low to mid SMV women.

 

[maturin]

^ I have male friends too I just (lately) prefer hanging out with attractive woman who have BF's. How is that humiliating myself?

Your making a lot of mistakes. First you like hanging out with women bec they are attractive but you don't receive any reciprocity. Are you stupid? This is what nice guys do. I wouldnt hang out with this group for 15 minutes let alone all night. The bright spot is in your gut it feels off. Big positve.

You are a 3rd wheel here. Your Smv is low in this group meaning your on the bottom of the male hierarchy. This is a terrible position to be in and where nice guys get slotted. Nice guys never **** but might be called to help of these princesses move her furniture. Get away from these people. Your position will never improve unless you show up with a super model on your arm.

If your smv was high, these girls would be flirting with you and the guys would be mate guarding. If your smv was really high, one of these chick's would slip her number into your coat pocket.

Never be friends with women. Aquantinces are fine. They are not your friends. Your just a low smv guy who shows up. Your getting no social proof here. If anything your getting negative social proof as a third wheel at the bottom of the pecking order. Other girls won't take you seriously. It's a negative feedback loop.

Go out to bars clubs with your guy friends and meet girls independently free of this group which is hurting you. Your wasting your time with this sort of friend strategy. It doesn't work. You'll save yourself years of futility by abandoning this bullshyt. I know guys who did this, lots of fb female friends, but never get the girl (or any girl). Don't be him. This is weak man game.

For starters try focusing on girls who seem to show interest in you. Learn to read the signs. Targeting girls your interested in but aren't into you is a waste of energy. You seem to be confused how dating works and are probably still BP. Read No More Mr Nice guy by Glover.

 

[BaronOfHair]

^ I have male friends too I just (lately) prefer hanging out with attractive woman who have BF's

Fair inference: You're either

-Anticipating(even if unconsciously)that one of these gals will lose her BF, then replace him with you

-Deliberately putting yourself in situations where prospects of getting what you claim to desire are all but non-existent

 

[BackInTheGame78]

well I like them (and some guys) because I'm a social guy, but I do enjoy getting to know attractive woman even if they have boyfriends.

its again just a scenario where I see these people 3-4 times a week and obviously am a guy who wants a girlfriend lol

just have to repress it I guess? Idk

Don't be acting like the little puppy in the window begging for someone to come take you home anytime they walk by.

Not a good look for a man.

It's not about "repressing it", it's about qualifying a woman to make sure she is worth giving that status to.

That which is easily earned, has no value. Not with women and not in life.

 

[Farseer]

A pretty natural dynamic with women is

1. You chase them for sex
2. They try and coral you into a relationship

They will use #1 to try and get you for #2. If you give #2 right off the bat they won't even want it. Just like how if some girl gives it up too easy she's seen as a hoe and therefore less desireable for #2. If you indicate a willingness to give #2 no strings attached it kills her desire for #1.

You will never ever run into issues being flirty and trying to get into girls pants and letting them play the role of "omg I never do this though. I would only ever have sex with a guy I was in a relationship with. stahp". They love to do that. It makes them feel desired and like they're getting #2 via a bargained for exchange. If you give them #2 free of charge, well, it's like finding some dead animal on the floor of the forest while out hunting. You're instantly sus. How long has it been there? Was it sick? Is it a trap? etc.

You'll figure it out

 

[The_Sea_Wolf]

Ive heard the idea of "make friends w woman" and they can introduce you to other woman.. but Idk? Do I just have to go out with them to clubs/bars and they are like ym social proof?

If you have the stench of being lonely on you, she will never introduce you to friends, she will see you as a tool to be used and discarded to get what she needs from if anything at all

another example is I was super close with girl who had BF, they just broke up (or having issues) and now she's kinda weird around me .. WAY less friendly and open etc

She is not interested in you and is distancing herself because she is now single and doesn't want you to make a move. She is worried that you are cuddle fishing her.

 

[maturin]

She is not interested in you and is distancing herself because she is now single and doesn't want you to make a move. She is worried that you are cuddle fishing her.

Yes Exactly. She was friendly when you were completely unthreatening and in your place (like a eunuch). She changed bec she dreaded you making a move on her and she wanted to cut it off. Not give you any ideas. If she was open to anything she'd have acted entirely different. You did something in which it occurred to her that you actually have a ****. So maybe that's a good thing.

How do you handle this? The classic nice guy continues biz as usual with his 'friend'. The nice guy chump is a consistent mf'er who never deviates. He always hangs around. ButYour not a chump anymore and will never repeat this low grade behavior again. From today on this, girl is completely invisible to you. Don't hang out, don't look at her, don't say a word to her. If you see her on the street just walk on by like she ain't there.

It's not about girls liking you. It doesnt matter whether they like you. But they've got to respect you. That's what counts and with it comes a hint of fear. They like those guy friend chumps but theres no respect for them.

Read the djuan Bible. The pook 15 rules**. You need to understand the basic RP tenets on female nature. Go to the RP site and study, not just skim over bec you half believe it,
their magnum opus side bar. You know shyt about female nature. Your behavior is BP and beta. "Acting like a goof". Wtf is that? Girls act like a goof with their younger brother. Was that your intention? Stop this. It sends a message that your a beta male. Women want pillars of confidence (respect, remember). You don't seek their approval with crap like that. Attraction comes before comfort/nice. Read the mystery pick up book and pay special attn to the psychology. Read the Game. Develop you verbal skills.

You need a complete reset. A knowledge of social interactions (how dating really works and how girls think) and a new masculine strategy to achieve your objectives. You have a lot of work ahead.

 

[The_Sea_Wolf]

You need a complete reset. A knowledge of social interactions (how dating really works and how girls think) and a new masculine strategy to achieve your objectives. You have a lot of work ahead.

And to add to this never be friends with women you are interested in dating, either you are taking her out or you are moving on, stop hanging around over inflating these chicks egos.

 

[SW15]

And to add to this never be friends with women you are interested in dating, either you are taking her out or you are moving on, stop hanging around over inflating these chicks egos.

I also think being friends with women when you aren't attracted to them isn't often rewarding.

 

[The_Sea_Wolf]

I also think being friends with women when you aren't attracted to them isn't often rewarding.

The situations where it is a meaningful relationship are few and far between because when a man and woman have a high degree of compatibility unless one or the other finds the other to be ugly, it will turn into a relationship. (aside from any other mitigating factor)