Attempting to pick up a bartender/server. Good or bad idea?

[New_Journey]

Asking for advice is not asking for permission. You seem to be firing shots at everyone and that's not gonna help anyone out. Good luck with that.

You should challenge every advice you get, including mine. Thanks for the luck but I don't need it.

Who said I'm afraid of approaching bar staff?

The only reason you came here is because you're afraid, otherwise you would have done it already.

I'm shivering in my boots after I've cold approached countless times in the street

This is your problem.

I've cold approached countless times in the street

If this were true, another simple approach to the bartender would be just another one of many, why would you think there should be a possibility of being bad idea approaching a female staff member?

If I mindlessly ask employees out at a place I regular, that can alienate them and impact my experience. I wasn't totally sure so I came here to get pointed in the right direction.

Again, you're keep lying to yourself. The tittle says "Attempting to pick up a bartender/server. Good or bad idea?" Not "How can I approach this bartender". The former is a scared man, the latter is a man with balls.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Why? Is big foot gonna eat him?

Hell yeah!

 

[Oatmeal31]

You should challenge every advice you get, including mine. Thanks for the luck but I don't need it.


The only reason you came here is because you're afraid, otherwise you would have done it already.


This is your problem.


If this were true, another simple approach to the bartender would be just another one of many, why would you think there should be a possibility of being bad idea approaching a female staff member?


Again, you're keep lying to yourself. The tittle says "Attempting to pick up a bartender/server. Good or bad idea?" Not "How can I approach this bartender". The former is a scared man, the latter is a man with balls.

Love how you twist my words to try to make yourself look better. There's nothing you can win here but keep going. I can safely ignore your advice, no need to challenge it

 

[New_Journey]

Love how you twist my words to try to make yourself look better.

I am not and I couldn't care less how I look online. There fact of you mentioning those "accomplishments" means, you haven't learn. If you aren't scared, I dare you to approach her, I mean, you clearly want to. If you hesitate, you masturbate.

There's nothing you can win here but keep going. I can safely ignore your advice, no need to challenge it

If you want to learn, you gotta leave your ego at the door.

 

[maturin]

Don't over think it. I met a casino ****tail waitress in atlantic city. Stayed over her place and guess who was sitting on the couch. The ex-boyfriend whose turn had apparently expired. Now it was my turn. That was around 1989 or 90. He looked at me a little confused as I did him. He was a reserved sort of guy as i remember it. He was probably thinking who the **** is this guy. I think she and I went out and when we returned he was gone. We just rotate and take our turn. You guys know how it works now. We didn't. Jesus just remembered s/t. It was 84/85. I was 22. This was a nice casino lounge pickup. I remember this chick. Pretty brunette with a really nice body.

 

[zekko]

If you are getting strong IOI's from her and she is always happy to see you, write her a note, something to the tune of:

Your reasoning is solid, but I personally don't like the idea of leaving physical evidence behind.

 

[filerfiler]

Completely casually in a conversation after a flirt disqualify her:

“Jenny if you weren’t staff here I’d totally ask you out, I’d be all over you”

Don’t wait for her reaction but observe it. She might take the bait if she has game.

 

[The_Sea_Wolf]

Your reasoning is solid, but I personally don't like the idea of leaving physical evidence behind.

Why is that?

 

[zekko]

Why is that?

As I said, it's just personal preference. But it gives her something she could show around to her friends, employers, or others. It's one thing to be rejected, it's another to have a written document of it.

 

[The_Sea_Wolf]

As I said, it's just personal preference. But it gives her something she could show around to her friends, employers, or others. It's one thing to be rejected, it's another to have a written document of it.

If it is done in a respectful way you have no fear of her showing the note to anyone, women are kind of funny like that, one woman can ***** to one of her friends about what a terrible guy you are, but her friend can find what you did sweet and charming and she will lie to her friends face as though she agrees, then come seek you out because she was moved by what you did.

What matters is that what you did was appropriate, for instance a note scribbled on a piece of hardware store notepad paper after she has shown strong interest is appropriate, sending her 100 roses or some simp move like that is not.

As long as you are conducting yourself with honor and dignity you will be fine.

In the situation of the note, say she complained to her boss, and the boss confronted you, all I would do is tell him that you were unsure if she was being friendly because it was part of the job, or because she really liked you, and you didn't want to put her on the spot or make a scene.

Yes, there is a chance you could be asked not to come back, but you run that risk when you choose to hit on her in the first place as most managers will absolutely throw out someone who a server asks them to because they don't want to have to go through hiring someone new.

 

[zekko]

Yes, there is a chance you could be asked not to come back, but you run that risk when you choose to hit on her in the first place as most managers will absolutely throw out someone who a server asks them to because they don't want to have to go through hiring someone new.

If someone wants to do this, I have no problem with it. I'm just saying it's personally not for me specifically, as I'm too private a person to have a comparative stranger in written possession of my intentions. Just my own preference.