Best vetting questions?

[Gamisch]

One of the best ways to get to know a woman is by asking her questions and let her talkabout herself. The real art is to ask seemingly simple questions where the answer you prefer is unclear.

What are some of your favorite vetting questions?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Anything that requires her to reveal character traits to answer.

 

[Gamisch]

Anything that requires her to reveal character traits to answer.

Do you have some examples?

Perhaps a stupid example: did you read 50 shades of gray?

 

[Gamisch]

If you'd ask " did you ever had a ONS?" It might be too direct and gives her the opportunity to wiggle her way out of it. It might scare her off because she knows there's a big chance that you will dismiss her if she's honest.

So the intention behind the question should be more covertly.

Chime in playas

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Do you have some examples?

Perhaps a stupid example: did you read 50 shades of gray?

"What would your friends say is the best quality about you?"

"What's your biggest fear in life?"

"What's your biggest weakness?"

"If you could be famous for something, what would it be for?"

"If you could change one thing about your life, what would it be?"

"If you had a magic wand and you could wave it to change one thing in the world, what would it be?"(Ie, will it be something personal or something for others? How self centered are they...)

Just anything that makes them give you an answer about their priorities and what they would do in certain situations

 

[FlexpertHamilton]

I actually don't really ask vetting questions. It feels too forced, like an interview, and they might know why you're asking and just tell you what they think you want to hear. Instead I just let the conversation flow, play dumb, and gently steer it to certain topics until they start telling on themselves. The only questions I do typically ask are ones that pertain to their relationships with friends and family.

One question I've been wanting to ask though is, what are your thoughts on death and suicide? That can be a real good way to get a sense of their moral character and ability to come up with original thoughts, essentially an NPC litmus test. But this is not the sort of question I'd ask on a first date.

 

[Gamisch]

I actually don't really ask vetting questions. It feels too forced, like an interview, and they might know why you're asking and just tell you what they think you want to hear. Instead I just let the conversation flow, play dumb, and gently steer it to certain topics until they start telling on themselves. The only questions I do typically ask are ones that pertain to their relationships with friends and family.

One question I've been wanting to ask though is, what are your thoughts on death and suicide? That can be a real good way to get a sense of their moral character and ability to come up with original thoughts, essentially an NPC litmus test. But this is not the sort of question I'd ask on a first date.

To clarify: I'm trying to learn/ improve on how I as a man can have some (type of) questions in my toolbox that are not too obvious but yet allow me to put her on the spot.

I 100% understand what you mean. Yet, I'm most successful when I'm laid back and only do like 33% of the talking. Questions are a great way to let her yap. It's just those standardized cliche questions that I try to avoid. The " what does your workday look like" azz questions.

If I flow naturally I tend to be too talkative too soon. Backfired a couple of times lately..I feel like it creates too much of a friendly golden retriever vibe.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

One of the best ways to get to know a woman is by asking her questions and let her talkabout herself. The real art is to ask seemingly simple questions where the answer you prefer is unclear.

What are some of your favorite vetting questions?

Ehhh. I can't rock with vetting questions, unless it has to do with sex.

No matter how you meet the woman, until the subject of hooking up (for sex) is discussed, the relationship doesn't officially begin.

All of the small talk and chitter chatter is bullshiit.

Obviously, this is just my opinion based on what I've been taught (and have experienced)...but as many of you guys that have engaged in such behaviors and didn't get ANYWHERE despite it, you should already know.

 

[Gamisch]

Ehhh. I can't rock with vetting questions, unless it has to do with sex.

No matter how you meet the woman, until the subject of hooking up (for sex) is discussed, the relationship doesn't officially begin.

All of the small talk and chitter chatter is bullshiit.

Obviously, this is just my opinion based on what I've been taught (and have experienced)...but as many of you guys that have engaged in such behaviors and didn't get ANYWHERE despite it, you should already know.

Yeah I guess a lotta men including myself oftentimes find we are in a space of nothingness with a woman.

She "allows/ tolerates" your hunt, but in the space between having her and trying to get her a lot happens. Some will say she waits for you to disqualify yourself.

You are right tho...that space of nothingness often fecks sh1t up .

 

[pipeman84]

Vet her for what exactly? I presume you mean for taking her seriously.
It would be pointless for a recruiter for Navy Seals, Foreign Legion or a Premier League football club to prepare vetting questions for a +30yrs old out of shape guy.
It's the same with women ... I think just by using age and looks/demeanour is enough to disqualify 95% of women.
Would you be able to keep a straight face and ask a +30yrs old (that you probably found on a dating app) the questions listed by @BackInTheGame78 ?

 

[SW15]

Would you be able to keep a straight face and ask a +30yrs old (that you probably found on a dating app) the questions listed by @BackInTheGame78 ?

I would be able to do that. I don't use dating apps and haven't used them for many years.

There's a bit of a backlash going on against dating apps right now. I don't know how far it can go because a lot of men and women are dependent on them.

Some of those questions are good questions that could spark an interesting discussion.

The typical 30+ year old man needs a dating app in order to meet 30+ year old women.

 

[Glassguy]

I refuse to turn dates into job interviews.
For me I just pay close attention to how she acts. How she treats others. Also what she asks ME.
Focus on having fun dates. As a woman gets more comfortable with you, she will tell you things that will help you figure her out.
Character is huge for me and normally I can pay attention to women on dates and get a quick idea on how her character is.
Most issues in relationships revolve around one of the 2 people having poor character and poor integrity.

 

[Scaramouche]

Hi Gamish,
On meeting you should be casual,pass comments not questions if there is something in it for you things will just flow....All said and done,most things in life are ephemeral,like morning mist they evaporate and fade away..Looks,muscles,money,health,the only enduring aspect of a relationship is conversation.

 

[NSX-R]

it’s not an interview and personally if you treat it as such, it loses the whole point. Dating and flirting should be like a hobby. You do it because you like it and enjoy it . You don’t need to be so serious . When you meet someone who clicks with you , everything is going to be flawless.
Off course some things are important to know. I would personally look after how’s the relationship of that woman wirt her parents. You can learn a lot from it . How’s her life all together but don’t believe everything cause many people bs a lot to look better . How’s she showing up to you or around her. Is she always on time and keeps up her words . Things like that .

 

[DreamAgain]

You can steer the conversation into directions to find out what information you want.

If she talks about a bar she likes, which is a common topic of many NPC women these days, follow ups like, "oh nice it sounds fun, do you go there often?".

If she says yes, she will likely start elaborating on going out with her friends and some crazy experiences she had there. Woman cannot control themselves, when they say they love to yap, they mean it, and many unintentional things will come out.

If she says no, follow up with something like "what do you usually do on the weekends?".

Most don't have the quick thinking on their feet to flip a question like that back onto you.

These are very basic examples.

 

[jhonny9546]

As for me, a verification question that I never ask, but I notice, is when a woman feels and is at ease around me. Essentially an IOI, but they usually do it in many ways, and I would like to ask them, "Do you feel that comfortable?" But I never ask the question.

(I wonder if it's a common thing and if it happens to you as well.)

 

[BaronOfHair]

What are some of your favorite vetting questions?

"Do you go out of your way to announce your preferred pronouns?"

"Do you consider yourself a Red Pill woman, who's not like most chicks?"


A "Yes" to either results in a "It was nice to you" from me, and I dare say every other man who recognizes folks like these as being modern America's answer to The Wahabis

 

[New_Journey]

One of the best ways to get to know a woman is by asking her questions and let her talkabout herself. The real art is to ask seemingly simple questions where the answer you prefer is unclear.

What are some of your favorite vetting questions?

None. Women lie, I just have fun with her, on dates, then give her enough rope to hang herself. They quickest, the better.

 

[BPH]

I actually don't really ask vetting questions. It feels too forced, like an interview, and they might know why you're asking and just tell you what they think you want to hear. Instead I just let the conversation flow, play dumb, and gently steer it to certain topics until they start telling on themselves.

This.

I just relax, enjoy the interaction, and really listen to what they choose to say. Women do tend to tell on themselves, so I let them.

 

[BeExcellent]

Advice from the old lady:

Open ended questions where she can reveal who she is and you can learn alot by listening. But low key open ended questions...here are some good examples:

If you have a free weekend what do you enjoy?" Follow up with "That's cool. How did you get into that?" and that leads into an interesting conversation.

Let her chat and ask follow up questions. Listen NOT for your turn to speak (nobody likes the conversationalist who always tries to 'one up' the other person), instead really listen, smile, chuckle, and engage with this female human in front of you.

Open ended questions like "How did you get into that?" and follow ups will take you far.

Added bonus: As she reveals more of herself you, in a listening stance, reveal less about yourself. This maintains some mystery and intrigue. Mystery and intrigue are hella attractive. When you combine that with taking an interest in her (listening) you are also getting her to invest in you.

Dale Carnegie had it correct decades ago when he said everyone's favorite topic is themselves. People will eat out of your hand if they feel seen and heard.

Learn this art and learn it well. It can serve you in many environments, not just dating.