Sh*t test?

[ShyBandit]

I feel like women sometimes cancel a date solely as a **** test. If I’m right about that, what response are they looking for ? A man’s response could be sad, bummed out, cold, nonchalant and not caring or showing much care and concern over the reason for the cancellation. (Not a first date).

 

[GoodMan32]

If I had my way, sh1t tests would be punishable by a decade behind bars.

They need to stop with the games. Sh1t tests set a man up for failure (as we're stuck guessing what we're supposed to do)

When I was 21, I remember checking in the day of our date to confirm we were still on (with a woman I met online). Long story short, in addition to the date never happening, our interaction ended with her threatening to rat me out to the cops if I sent her even one more message.

 

[Clockwerk50]

It’s debatable whether it’s a test or not if she cancels the date. If her attraction to you were strong enough, she would go out of her way to see you and wouldn’t risk playing games that could result in losing you forever.

However, If this happens to you and she cancels, I would handle it in one of two ways:

a. If she cancels before we’ve finalized plans the day of and before I arrange my day, I would respond with something like, “I hope everything works out. Take care.” This shows empathy and leaves the door open for her to reschedule or initiate another plan if she genuinely wants to see me.

b. If she cancels when I’m already on my way or if she stands me up, I would block her and move on without further communication. That behavior shows a lack of respect, and I wouldn’t tolerate it.

 

[Travel memoir21]

I was talking to a girl here in The Philippines recently. She’s cute, she looks like shes in her very early 20s.

She lived around my area and I was talking through her through text. Everything was going great, even mentioned I know a few of her friends….thats when she slowly stopped talking to me and even blocked me.


I don’t know what wrong. Could very much be a flat out rejection or a sh#t test to go out and socialize and find her…..she might want to be chased lol….Next!

 

[Gamisch]

I feel like women sometimes cancel a date solely as a **** test. If I’m right about that, what response are they looking for ? A man’s response could be sad, bummed out, cold, nonchalant and not caring or showing much care and concern over the reason for the cancellation. (Not a first date).

A cancelation is exactly what you think it is: it's a woman having doubts about you to such a degree that she cancels the date completely.

You CAN however push her to meet you, BUT the element of doubt oftentimes will present itself later on. Even after fecking her.

A cancelation is one the clearer ways a woman communicates to a man she isn't really feeling him. If you push it she will either flat out tell you she doesn't want you or cave in like I described earlier .

Why: tons of reasons ,varying from having a bf , another (better)prospect in sight to simply being turned off by the interactions with you.

 

[Bingo-Player]

They need to stop with the games. Sh1t tests set a man up for failure (as we're stuck guessing what we're supposed to do)

Thats the point of them , you're supposed to know what to do in any circumstances because you are a man

She is testing to see how well you can lead her or how easily she can shake you

Often a woman will start the games if she senses weakness within your frame

The easiest way to deal with them is to either belittle them or ignore them

 

[SW15]

I feel like women sometimes cancel a date solely as a **** test.

Yes, this happens. They want to see how much you chase. Don't chase. That's a game player who adds no value to your life.

 

[GoodMan32]

Thats the point of them , you're supposed to know what to do in any circumstances because you are a man

She is testing to see how well you can lead her or how easily she can shake you

Often a woman will start the games if she senses weakness within your frame

The easiest way to deal with them is to either belittle them or ignore them

The problem is sh1t tests are especially problematic in setting an autist up for failure.

A woman giving sh1t tests to a romantic partner reminds me of a boss at a past job (unsurprisingly a female boss) who thought bullying was how you motivated employees to succeed.

No, bullying your employees doesn't motivate your employees to succeed. All it does is make your employees daydream about hurting you.

 

[GoodMan32]

Yes, this happens. They want to see how much you chase. Don't chase. That's a game player who adds no value to your life.

For every possible move a woman could make, there are varying answers on how the man should respond.

I've certainly heard the answer you've given (that we should refrain from chasing)

I've also heard, however, that a woman wants us to chase her (to prove we're a real man who won't give up)

I suppose it's hard to tell whether the woman will admire our persistence or if the woman will laugh at how pathetic we are for chasing her. Some gals fall into the first category, some fall into the second.

See, this is what I'm talking about when I say sh1t tests set us up for failure.

 

[Clockwerk50]

For every possible move a woman could make, there are varying answers on how the man should respond.

I've certainly heard the answer you've given (that we should refrain from chasing)

I've also heard, however, that a woman wants us to chase her (to prove we're a real man who won't give up)

I suppose it's hard to tell whether the woman will admire our persistence or if the woman will laugh at how pathetic we are for chasing her. Some gals fall into the first category, some fall into the second.

See, this is what I'm talking about when I say sh1t tests set us up for failure.

An easy conquest has lower value than a difficult one. Also:

Frame

Iron Rule of Tomassi #1 Frame is everything. Always be aware of the subconscious balance of whose frame in which you are operating. Always control the Frame, but resist giving the impression that y…

therationalmale.com

Ideally, you want the woman to enter your reality.

 

[Vanderdonck]

I feel like women sometimes cancel a date solely as a **** test. If I’m right about that, what response are they looking for ? A man’s response could be sad, bummed out, cold, nonchalant and not caring or showing much care and concern over the reason for the cancellation. (Not a first date).

It is not a sh*t test. It is something they do because they have options. They simply can.

The best response is no response. It doesn't really matter and your life is far too interesting for this to register.

 

[plumber]

It’s debatable whether it’s a test or not if she cancels the date. If her attraction to you were strong enough, she would go out of her way to see you and wouldn’t risk playing games that could result in losing you forever.

However, If this happens to you and she cancels, I would handle it in one of two ways:

a. If she cancels before we’ve finalized plans the day of and before I arrange my day, I would respond with something like, “I hope everything works out. Take care.” This shows empathy and leaves the door open for her to reschedule or initiate another plan if she genuinely wants to see me.

b. If she cancels when I’m already on my way or if she stands me up, I would block her and move on without further communication. That behavior shows a lack of respect, and I wouldn’t tolerate it.

c. she is late. How do you handle this?

 

[Clockwerk50]

c. she is late. How do you handle this?

Boundaries. Don’t be scared of being difficult. Being reliable and predictable is boring.

Reminder: The importance of checking bad behavior the moment you notice it.

I just want to remind you guys that you have to have a 0 tolerance policy for disrespect. The first condescending remark, the first temper tantrum, the first snide comment .. immediately correct it. If it’s in the car pull over look her dead in her eyes and tell her “I don’t tolerate that”...

www.sosuave.net

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I feel like women sometimes cancel a date solely as a **** test.

If a woman cancels a date without offering a contingency plan, then she has low interest in you.

Point blank, period.

But, to offer my two cents (of which 95% of the time, never gets followed)...

1. Never take a woman out on a date until you engage in physical, intimate contact.

2. Make sure women passes your sh!t test, before you take them out on a date.

And what is your sh!t test?

See #1.

If I’m right about that, what response are they looking for ? A man’s response could be sad, bummed out, cold, nonchalant and not caring or showing much care and concern over the reason for the cancellation. (Not a first date).

Or, a man's mentality should be to not let it happen in the first place.

You are speaking as a victim.

Don't allow yourself to become a victim.

 

[plumber]

Boundaries. Don’t be scared of being difficult. Being reliable and predictable is boring.

Reminder: The importance of checking bad behavior the moment you notice it.

I just want to remind you guys that you have to have a 0 tolerance policy for disrespect. The first condescending remark, the first temper tantrum, the first snide comment .. immediately correct it. If it’s in the car pull over look her dead in her eyes and tell her “I don’t tolerate that”...

www.sosuave.net

yep; agree.

so, say its a first meetup. she is late, do you wait? if yes or no, then what ?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Most women cancel dates(especially first dates) because they either have a better option or they realize they simply are not interested enough in the man to make the effort to spend an hour or two to get ready, drive to where the date is, spend more time on the date and then drive home.

Guys need to understand it requires a different level of interest to text someone or talk on the phone for a little while versus having to actually "do" something.

A woman may be interested enough to text/talk but not interested enough to make her willing to put forth the amount of effort needed to actually meet. Huge amount of difference in effort levels required between the two.

Not a sh!t test, simply an indicator of her real interest level.

 

[DJ Novice]

Women have many options and will look for any opportunity to disqualify you.

I had two OLD matches who provided me with their their mobile numbers but because I had the nerve not to not get day back to them for a day (they texted me on Friday night, I didn’t get around to responding again until Sunday morning) they had already deleted their account or blocked me.

Who knows why. Other women I have connected with have been ok to wait a day for me to get back to them and vice versa.

Bottom line is that if a woman has genuine interest in you or you are at or near the top of her options list she won’t flake or ghost you.

 

[Clockwerk50]

yep; agree.

so, say its a first meetup. she is late, do you wait? if yes or no, then what ?

I don’t know man. How long are you willing to wait without giving her ****?

If she contacts you and says she is going to be 5-10 minutes late I think that’s reasonable to still have a good time.

 

[plumber]

I don’t know man. How long are you willing to wait without giving her ****?

If she contacts you and says she is going to be 5-10 minutes late I think that’s reasonable to still have a good time.

that sounds reasonable.