After giving it some thought, turns out my fear of rejection isn't *really* a fear of rejection

[BaronOfHair]

I'm throwing the towel on this one. I wish the rest of you fellas luck, trying to get through to him

 

[Gamisch]

I'm throwing the towel on this one. I wish the rest of you fellas luck, trying to get through to him

I pray he finds a woman at that speed dating event and is done with the forum for a while.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

The fact I could ask total strangers for sex (knowing that's a recipe for almost certain rejection), yet can't ask out a woman I know well (even if she's given me an IOI) goes to show I don't fear the rejection itself; what I fear is having to run into the woman after a rejection (I knew I was highly unlikely to run into these total strangers ever again. Yet if I know a woman well, I'm obviously going to run into her again. And just because she's given me an IOI doesn't mean she'll definitely accept my ask out)

Naw bruh, if you have clear IOI's, it's foolish to not ask her out.

IOI's don't come often..so when they do, take advantage of them.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

On a standard daygame approach, men are often offering dates after 5 minute conversations. In standard daygame, you are lucky to get a woman who will talk with you for 5 minutes.

There are daygame approachers who will offer a date in far less than 5 minutes. @We_ArE_VeNOM is one example of a daygame approacher who uses this method.

Hell yeah, I'm tryna give her my # in 10 second or less.

 

[GoodMan32]

On a standard daygame approach, men are often offering dates after 5 minute conversations. In standard daygame, you are lucky to get a woman who will talk with you for 5 minutes.

There are daygame approachers who will offer a date in far less than 5 minutes. @We_ArE_VeNOM is one example of a daygame approacher who uses this method.



In older school speed dating formats (back 10-20 years ago), one of 2 things happened....

1. you handed in a card to an organizer and then the organizer emailed you in 24-48 hours later with your matches and their contact info.
2. you went to a website, filled in your yes and no to people, then you got your mutual yes responses within 24-48 hours.

Not sure if there have been format changes but a personal card is useless in either of those formats.

Speed dating is a fast format. No one is denying that. It's an absolute crap format and the bottom of the barrel in terms of meeting women. Valuable men do not waste their time at speed dating, or realize quickly that it is a crap format and move on.

If you wanted to make lemonade out of lemons at speed dating events, you would ask them on a date on the spot and collect their number.

In general, the events should be avoided. People only go to speed dating events when they can't solve their dating problems through swipe apps, DMs, or real life, non-staged interactions.

In approaching strangers in real life, a phone number without a set date plan is mostly worthless. Any approacher who has done a lot of daygame/nightgame will tell you that.

The format has changed. The speed dating events I went to didn't do the behind-the-scenes matchmaker thing.

 

[GoodMan32]

Naw bruh, if you have clear IOI's, it's foolish to not ask her out.

IOI's don't come often..so when they do, take advantage of them.

I'm an autist. I have a track record of misreading IOIs.

My fear is that the IOI will turn out to be imaginary.

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

I'm an autist. I have a track record of misreading IOIs.

That's why I said "clear" IOIs.

My fear is that the IOI will turn out to be imaginary.

Which is why you shouldn't wait for IOI's, you cold approach.

As for the women you know, I doubt your social circle is that big to whereas this should be a major concern.

However, if it is that much of a concern, then you either accept it about yourself by making it a rule of thumb to not ask out women you know, or you simply man up and do what you have to do by asking them out, regardless of the outcome.

Either way, cold approach is the way to go...if you aint cold approaching, you ain't doing shiit in the game.

 

[GoodMan32]

That's why I said "clear" IOIs.



Which is why you shouldn't wait for IOI's, you cold approach.

As for the women you know, I doubt your social circle is that big to whereas this should be a major concern.

However, if it is that much of a concern, then you either accept it about yourself by making it a rule of thumb to not ask out women you know, or you simply man up and do what you have to do by asking them out, regardless of the outcome.

Either way, cold approach is the way to go...if you aint cold approaching, you ain't doing shiit in the game.

When you're an autist, even if you think an IOI is crystal clear, it could mean nothing. As an example, when I was in college, a female classmate wanted my assistance in the computer lab. Rather than have me pull up a chair, she scooted over in her chair (and had me share the seat with her). I thought that was a pretty clear IOI. Yet it turned out the girl wasn't into me.

Just typing that story out was hard for me (having to relive a bad/humiliating memory). I've said before on this forum I (despite being straight) would rather kiss a man than get rejected by a woman I need to cross paths with again. I mean it. For that matter, if kissing a man would make my memory of that girl from the computer lab go away, I'd kiss a man.

As for my social circle, I don't really have much of a social circle. But there's still many a woman I cross paths with on a regular basis, even if they aren't in my social circle (neighbors, coworkers, employees at businesses I frequent, etc). I've gotten what I thought were IOIs from gals in all 3 of those categories, yet I've refused to make moves because of my aversion to crossing paths with a woman I got rejected by.

My rejection rate is at least 93% by the way (possibly higher; I've lost count). So it's not that I merely think I might get rejected. It's that I know I will get rejected (with the exception of the extremely rare freak of nature occurrence)

 

[We_ArE_VeNOM]

When you're an autist, even if you think an IOI is crystal clear, it could mean nothing. As an example, when I was in college, a female classmate wanted my assistance in the computer lab. Rather than have me pull up a chair, she scooted over in her chair (and had me share the seat with her). I thought that was a pretty clear IOI. Yet it turned out the girl wasn't into me.

Understandable.

Which is why CA is superior, because it doesn't even take her perceived IOI's into consideration.

In other words, you ask her out because you find her attractive, not because she gave you a signal.

Just typing that story out was hard for me (having to relive a bad/humiliating memory). I've said before on this forum I (despite being straight) would rather kiss a man than get rejected by a woman I need to cross paths with again. I mean it. For that matter, if kissing a man would make my memory of that girl from the computer lab go away, I'd kiss a man.

Although on the extreme side, understandable.

Again, cold approach... because as you've acknowledged, the chances of you encountering those women again is slim to none... especially if you live in a big city.

As for my social circle, I don't really have much of a social circle. But there's still many a woman I cross paths with on a regular basis, even if they aren't in my social circle (neighbors, coworkers, employees at businesses I frequent, etc).

Well again, simply don't ask out any of those women.

Those women are not even a small fraction compared to what you'll find in day or night game.

I've gotten what I thought were IOIs from gals in all 3 of those categories, yet I've refused to make moves because of my aversion to crossing paths with a woman I got rejected by.

If it's that bad, then don't do it.

My rejection rate is at least 93% by the way (possibly higher; I've lost count). So it's not that I merely think I might get rejected. It's that I know I will get rejected (with the exception of the extremely rare freak of nature occurrence)

How is your body game? What do you say when you approach a woman?

Both are equally important.

 

[SW15]

Either way, cold approach is the way to go...if you aint cold approaching, you ain't doing shiit in the game.

For most men, this will be true. There are top tier men good looking enough to get dates solely from swipe apps.

CA is superior, because it doesn't even take her perceived IOI's into consideration.

In other words, you ask her out because you find her attractive, not because she gave you a signal.

I've done approaches with or without IOIs. I prefer to do with them IOIs but if I'm attracted enough, I'm going to do the approach.

Again, cold approach... because as you've acknowledged, the chances of you encountering those women again is slim to none... especially if you live in a big city.

Approaching unknown women in a big city is usually safe in terms in avoiding running into the same women again.

This is why a male needs to move fast on his approaches. There's no guarantee in the big city that he'll ever see her again so he needs to make plans with her in that moment and collect her number.

Those women are not even a small fraction compared to what you'll find in day or night game.

Agree with this.

My rejection rate is at least 93% by the way (possibly higher; I've lost count). So it's not that I merely think I might get rejected. It's that I know I will get rejected (with the exception of the extremely rare freak of nature occurrence)

How do you define rejection rate?

Very good pickup artists get rejected a lot too.