How is it possible for gay guys to find a man extremely attractive, yet the ladies largely view him as invisible?

[Travel memoir21]

Maybe you’re fishing in the wrong spots. America’s sexual polarity sucks. Why bother trying to get Lgbtq Fem nazis turned on when you can have a normal conversation abroad?


Time to passport bro it up and find a decent woman over seas. South East Asian women can be feminine and traditional.

If you like white women, I suggest you try out Russia or Eastern Europe.

 

[SW15]

I get way more attention from gay guys.

What kind of attention? Big black guys for example I bet they get attention from gay bottoms. But submissive white dudes probably get attention from gay tops.

Do you get attention from gay tops, gay bottoms, or are they uni?

These are good details.

It would be interesting to learn if he gets approach invitations from gay men, similar to how a woman would try to put out an approach invitation when they want a man to approach them.

if I cross paths with many a gay man, I also cross paths with many a straight woman.

In thinking about your day-to-day, real life routine, you probably have more proximity to heterosexual women. After you subtract the married women and the married women with children, you don't have that many contacts with childless, unmarried heterosexual women, especially those 33 and under (if you were a regular guy who was seeking women near his own age or younger).

I know you said on your post that you have a totally straight vibe. But according to what my gay neighbor said (gay guys will hit on anything), your straight vibe shouldn't make a difference.

It makes enough of a difference. Gay men will know when they are completely wasting their time. I think that's the case when gay men see me. I have been in my city nearly 15 years. In those nearly 15 years, not one gay man has approached me for sex/dating and not one gay men has given me strong IOIs to approach him.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Your poor mentality, body language and lack of confidence in yourself make you invisible to the ladies.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

You prefer really attention from gay guys?



I've crossed paths with women that I've been turned down by and don't get how you are blowing it up like it is really that bad. She is still a woman and you are being true to yourself and who you like, no matter how she is with you.

I guess I went to an all boys high school, you went to a coed high school. You never experienced being in an environment when you only had mainly guys around I guess for four years during your most formative years. @MatureDJ also went to an all boys High School.



Are you bi-curious? I can't wrap my head around how a straight guy who likes women would like complements from gay guys unless some part of him was a little bi-curious? It means on some level you are comfortable with other guys seeing you on a sexual level. To each their own I guess if that is the case. Rejection means you shoot your shot and it didn't stick. Everyone gets rejected. It means the one who breaks the ice/dry-spell, all the more rewarding.

This a good discussion so far.

It's a function of 3 factors: Testosterone, Proximity, and Vibe

Testosterone

Men have higher testosterone than women. That will even include effeminate gay men. With more testosterone, homosexual males will be more motivated to seek out and find sex from other males.

Proximity

Heterosexual men in majror cities/metropolitan areas are more likely to encounter homosexual males.

In major cities/metropolitan areas, there are certain neighborhoods where homosexual males tend to be. Many of them tend to be near city center, which are near good nightlife venues for heterosexuals and good daygame venues for heterosexual men seeking heterosexual women.

In Dallas, the Oak Lawn district is the hub of gay activity in the city. Oak Lawn is near the center of the city. I don't go to things in the Oak Lawn district because nothing interests me there. However, almost all areas that are somewhat close to Downtown Dallas have some homosexual presence, including areas near some of the best heterosexual pickup spots (nightlife and daygame).

I spend my time in Dallas in areas where heterosexual meet. These heterosexual areas are near the center of the city, which is also near where homosexual are. It's possible for me to encounter homosexual males in social settings.

I have never been approached for sexual purposes by a homosexual man since I moved to Dallas. I haven't been complimented by a homosexual male and I haven't gotten strong IOIs from a homosexual man. It is possible I could be unattractive. I don't think I've been considered unattractive in the last 20+ years.

I don't draw interest from homosexual males because of my vibe, which is strongly heterosexual.

Vibe

I have a strongly heterosexual presence. None of my mannerisms or speech patterns are effeminate. In interacting with me, I seem like a regular heterosexual man. When I am in nightlife venues, they are nightlife venues that seem to cater to heterosexuals.

I go to majority female fitness classes at times. I approach women in fitness classes. It is unlikely that any of them have thought that I was a homosexual. I'm also careful with the fitness classes that I attend as well. I look for formats that are more acceptably masculine.

There are likely some heterosexual men that would give off an unclear vibe or miss some social cues that would indicate heterosexuality.

Straight men's physiological stress response to seeing two men kissing is the same as seeing maggots

In heterosexual men, pictures of rotting flesh, maggots and spoiled food induce the same physiological stress response as pictures of two men kissing each

www.psypost.org

I also have a visceral disgust with the thought of engaging or even witnessing any homosexual activity.

I don’t enjoy any attention I get from gay guys. It does not trigger the dopamine rush I get when I get attention from women.

I would rather struggle in the trenches to get women’s attention than be carried on a silken divan to get men’s attention.

 

[GoodMan32]

What kind of attention? Big black guys for example I bet they get attention from gay bottoms. But submissive white dudes probably get attention from gay tops.

Do you get attention from gay tops, gay bottoms, or are they uni?

One gay guy has hinted at being a top.

The others, I don't know either way.

The gays I've gotten attention from have been somewhat diverse: White, Mexican, and Native American.

 

[GoodMan32]

These are good details.

It would be interesting to learn if he gets approach invitations from gay men, similar to how a woman would try to put out an approach invitation when they want a man to approach them.



In thinking about your day-to-day, real life routine, you probably have more proximity to heterosexual women. After you subtract the married women and the married women with children, you don't have that many contacts with childless, unmarried heterosexual women, especially those 33 and under (if you were a regular guy who was seeking women near his own age or younger).



It makes enough of a difference. Gay men will know when they are completely wasting their time. I think that's the case when gay men see me. I have been in my city nearly 15 years. In those nearly 15 years, not one gay man has approached me for sex/dating and not one gay men has given me strong IOIs to approach him.

I don't really get approach invitations from gay guys. They flat out come onto me (no need for me to approach)

 

[GoodMan32]

Your poor mentality, body language and lack of confidence in yourself make you invisible to the ladies.

Yet visible to gay guys.

 

[GoodMan32]

Straight men's physiological stress response to seeing two men kissing is the same as seeing maggots

In heterosexual men, pictures of rotting flesh, maggots and spoiled food induce the same physiological stress response as pictures of two men kissing each

www.psypost.org

I also have a visceral disgust with the thought of engaging or even witnessing any homosexual activity.

I don’t enjoy any attention I get from gay guys. It does not trigger the dopamine rush I get when I get attention from women.

I would rather struggle in the trenches to get women’s attention than be carried on a silken divan to get men’s attention.

Maybe I'm a special case in the sense that my attention from the ladies is severely lacking.

 

[Hamurabimbi]

Maybe I'm a special case in the sense that my attention from the ladies is severely lacking.

Women find 80% of men unattractive.
You are not a Special Case.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Yet visible to gay guys.

Because they don't care about any of that. Gay guys are like the sluttiest women you would ever find.

 

[sevbucmash]

has hinted at being a top.

They must see a virgin and you and are eager to pop that cherry.

 

[corrector]

Maybe I'm a special case in the sense that my attention from the ladies is severely lacking.

Again, just to mention for the record, I'm a similar case as yours, if not worst, and I'm not going to dig attention from gay guys, and actually feel repusled by it. People who are good with women on here are replused by that. People, such as myself, are also repulsed by it.

I get your justification however, of using escorts, because of lack of attention from women because at least it's related to women. If you are not gay, which you've maintained, then it's an interesting you would like their attention.

 

[sevbucmash]

Again, just to mention for the record, I'm a similar case as yours, if not worst, and I'm not going to dig attention from gay guys, and actually feel repusled by it. People who are good with women on here are replused by that. People, such as myself, are also repulsed by it.

It sounds like you're expressing some strong feelings about the dynamics of attraction and attention. It's completely valid to feel repulsed by certain types of attention if they don't align with your identity or preferences. If you're not gay, obviously you don't want attention from gay people.

 

[corrector]

If you're not gay, obviously you don't want attention from gay people.

Exactly.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

If you're not gay, obviously you don't want attention from gay people.

However, if you just want attention and validation, it might not matter much if you get attention from people you're not attracted to.

@GoodMan32 probably exudes 'bottom gayness', which is why he's approached by gay tops, who are generally more bold than gay bottoms.

 

[GoodMan32]

Women find 80% of men unattractive.
You are not a Special Case.

The 80% thing is true.

The vast majority of men, when they were in high school, however, weren't viewed as the freak of the school/a freaky creep no girl would possibly want.

Because they don't care about any of that. Gay guys are like the sluttiest women you would ever find.

What a curse that I was born straight. If only I were born gay, I'd be slaying.

Again, just to mention for the record, I'm a similar case as yours, if not worst, and I'm not going to dig attention from gay guys, and actually feel repusled by it. People who are good with women on here are replused by that. People, such as myself, are also repulsed by it.

I get your justification however, of using escorts, because of lack of attention from women because at least it's related to women. If you are not gay, which you've maintained, then it's an interesting you would like their attention.

We have a lot in common, no doubt.

The fact you didn't have the experience of being viewed by your female classmates as a freaky creep no girls would possibly want in high school (because you had no female classmates) likely makes a difference, however.

 

[GoodMan32]

It sounds like you're expressing some strong feelings about the dynamics of attraction and attention. It's completely valid to feel repulsed by certain types of attention if they don't align with your identity or preferences. If you're not gay, obviously you don't want attention from gay people.

I don't necessarily want attention from gay guys. But I get attention from gay guys whether I like it or not.

I'm flattered by the attention.

As an analogy, even if a woman refuses to get with a much younger man, she might at least be flattered to get attention from much younger men.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

The 80% thing is true.

The vast majority of men, when they were in high school, however, weren't viewed as the freak of the school/a freaky creep no girl would possibly want.


What a curse that I was born straight. If only I were born gay, I'd be slaying.


We have a lot in common, no doubt.

The fact you didn't have the experience of being viewed by your female classmates as a freaky creep no girls would possibly want in high school (because you had no female classmates) likely makes a difference, however.

If you keep filling page after page with the same bs excuses you've already been whining about:

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I don't necessarily want attention from gay guys. But I get attention from gay guys whether I like it or not.

I'm flattered by the attention.

As an analogy, even if a woman refuses to get with a much younger man, she might at least be flattered to get attention from much younger men.

You can keep saying that you're straight, but straight men don't feel flattered by attention from gay men and/or unattractive women.

Apart from loving attention from gay men, the whole defeminising language of using 'broads' and 'gals' and an abhorrence towards fertile females also shows significant sexual ambivalence towards the opposite sex.

 

[Gamisch]

You can keep saying that you're straight, but straight men don't feel flattered by attention from gay men and/or unattractive women.

Apart from loving attention from gay men, the whole defeminising language of using 'broads' and 'gals' and an abhorrence towards fertile females also shows significant sexual ambivalence towards the opposite sex.

I've seen threads being closed for less than this..I think everything that needed to be yold is said, and OP gotta take it to R/ by-curious now .

What more can we say?