When she comes back around

[stranger danger]

this chick i used to pine for that turned me down for another guy about a year ago has been trying to warm up to me again. Since then I distanced myself and moved on with life, the only time I heard from her would be some disinterested messages she would send over the year to which I replied in kind but always kept it short then move along. Now she sends another where she makes half-assed excuses on how it's been an year that we lost sight of each other and suddenly wants us to meet and catch up on everything I've been doing since then. She went on a similar rant back in summer where she sent a long audio that basically goes "oh, I don't usually do stuff like this but I will take a moment of my very busy life to tell you that I care for you and if there is something wrong we should talk and I'm here to hang or chat" to which i just told her that i'm busy too, take care. Which is true, this year has been wonderful to me in terms of personal growth, be it hardships and new experiences. Now I don't know what to make of her, I made my position very clear back in the day, so she did and she made her choice, fair enough. and despite I faded away she keeps reaching out. We do share fond memories togheter, more over so than any of the short flings I had through the year, but my guts screams nothing good will come out of this. Despite what she says I know she hasn't made any changes in her life, she never called me directly, she's still living it up in her boyfriend's flat. Still I'd like to share this story with you all and hear your opinions about this, thank you in advance

 

[BackInTheGame78]

All she is doing is seeing how easy to is to get attention from you and how thirsty you still are for her.

The second you try and do anything she knows what she needs to know and gets a huge validation boost from you and she will disappear again.

What do you do? Ignore her.

If you can't do that then block her.

Most of the time when people say they "moved on" it means they have conditionally done so because the woman has paid no attention to them. But as soon as she does, they get pulled right back in.

If a person has truly moved on it wouldn't matter what the other person does, it won't matter, they have no interest.

 

[BPH]

she's still living it up in her boyfriend's flat.

You could've saved a lot of time by just writing this.

There's nothing to be had here.

 

[plumber]

depends on what time of the month it is for her.

maybe she has a friend for you....

if you meet up, she is the one to travel to you.

you know what you want, if she is going to provide that then maybe.

if your boundary is not strong, then don't talk to her as you will only suffer.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

depends on what time of the month it is for her.

maybe she has a friend for you....

if you meet up, she is the one to travel to you.

you know what you want, if she is going to provide that then maybe.

if your boundary is not strong, then don't talk to her as you will only suffer.

This is typical attention seeking behavior, nothing more.

 

[Marc_zeus]

She wants to know how easy for her is to have you dance for her like a little monkey, that's it. When a girl choose someone else over me ( happens of course ) she doesent exist in my mind anymore. Never allow yourself to be someone's backup plan no matter how thirsty for ***** you are.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

Despite what she says I know she hasn't made any changes in her life, she never called me directly, she's still living it up in her boyfriend's flat. Still I'd like to share this story with you all and hear your opinions about this, thank you in advance

Relationships go up and down. When it goes down, women get insecure and contact other men to see if they are still in demand. She's simply looking for an ego boost, the notion she can walk away from her current relationship and hook up with someone else without having to be lonely and alone.

I think you're doing fine, just make sure she's not getting your attention and validation for free.

 

[stranger danger]

it's all been very insightful, thank you again. in the freezer back she goes

and no, unfortunately no female friends ever coming from her. while we share some circles, any of her friends coming to visit her from abroad she would single me out of meeting them, sometimes I really did wonder if on purpose. at the time she was even already settled with her fresh boyfriend and one of her friends coming over was essentially a finnish nympho who would regularly come here just to slut around. greedy