Asking a woman out for a specific day... Bad idea?

[JST8828]

Been talking to this girl (friend of a friend sort of thing) for the last couple of months via IG DM's and occasionally in person. Finally we exchanged numbers recently during a night out. I gave her my # typed out on my phone, showed it to her, told her to save it and to "text me if yours if you feel so inclined". She did instantly, and we've chatted on and off since.

She works a 9-5 and I happen to know she isn't exactly the busiest woman on Earth. So I plan to ask her out this coming Monday and was thinking of being kind of direct, asking for "This Friday" as opposed to saying something like "pick a day" or "When are you free" which in my experience sometimes gets messy where now suddenly the entire convo is talking about all your plans and trying to figure out a day or night, etc. I feel like if she (or any woman) is truly interested, if she cannot plan for the day I ask, she would simply counter, isn't that fair to say? Though I should also note that I've seen this backfire in the past as well, where they respond in a way that sounds like they absolutely would have loved to go, but they're busy, there's no counter, and then you're left really scratching your head wondering what could have been if you had left the field more open. What does everyone think about this subject?

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

"Listen, I'm going to this event on Friday and I'd love for you to join me."

 

[The Duke]

You are too worried about the outcome. That dries up pu$$y faster than anything.

Pick a day, pick a place, and ask her if she would like to meet you. Stop worrying and overthinking. It makes you come across as feminine and lacking leadership.

If she can't make it, then propose another day. IF she can't make that then put the ball in her court and tell her to get a hold of you when she is available and forget about her. Her interest isn't there.

Women don't always counter. I wouldn't expect it. That puts them in a leadership role they aren't comfortable being in. Your job is to lead. Her job is to agree. As long as she says yes and is easy to set something up with then she is interested.

You've been on here since 2013 and don't know the basics? You claimed in October that you have been on many dates so I would think you would know how this goes.

 

[Clockwerk50]

How is your abundance mindset?

It sounds like you're looking for a fail-proof way to make her do whatever you want, no matter what that is.

 

[FlirtLife]

If you're going all out on some Friday plan, that might create additional pressure and stress for you.

My approach was to offer two times when we could meet, and then let my date pick one.

 

[JST8828]

You've been on here since 2013 and don't know the basics? You claimed in October that you have been on many dates so I would think you would know how this goes.

I don’t think there is a basic “rule” about how this can go. I was just trying to gauge what the best course of action is bc i feel like I’ve been burned in the past where i ask for a specific day and you’re right, a lot of women don’t counter and I’m left wondering. Yes i can ask again, but to me, I always felt like asking again a few days or week later could come off as somewhat desperate. So again, I was just curious. But I’ve had the mentality where if she doesn’t counter, then I’d basically say something along the lines of how the offer is on the table and she ends up with some free time, reach out.

"Listen, I'm going to this event on Friday and I'd love for you to join me."

Event? What event? And this also implies that even if i was going to an “event” it would be one that id feel comfortable inviting her to and on a first date? Disagree with this one, sorry. Feels like it’s more for a few dates in.