etiquette w girl who is flakey/ghosty in social circle?

[PlatoPacks23]

Holy hell dude, how many times do you need to get the same piece of advice before you take it? It's not hard to see why she's not into you - you can't take a hint.

ehh she was kinda giving me mixed signals (we went out once, then she offered to go out again for a smaller thing but I declined and then I tried again and she's been flakey, and then we were at a party together and again she was giving mixed) so I just wanted to move past it and just go more for "friends" angle which clearly did not work lol.

I'll just avoid her I guess but be cool/not butthurt if she comes up to me. am always talking with her in class so changing it up we'll see what happens (not that anything will lol, but interesting to see anyway

 

[MatureDJ]

me and girl have hung out a little bit, but she's honestly not that interested in me imo. however I was fine being friends with her bc I'm cool with other people in her/our social circle and see her a lot in classes.

well I texted her asking for a recommendation on something, and she never even wrote back (first time she hasn't written back). which was annoying but more annoying was that she was like posting on her social media that day so clearly could not care less.


Now typically I would just blatantly ignore her and not even say anything to her, BUT I am in a social circle and we share similar friends AND I see her a lot in class (which is why I found it super rude she didn't even respond..)

I honestly think she'd just act like, "oh I missed it I was so busy, sorry!" if I see her when I know that's BS, but how would you act in a scenario where you continue to see her over and over? confront her? pretend it never happened (seems like a ***** move on my part)?

I kinda want to mention it to her, and then after she's aware of it just ignore her rest of time but idk. it's tricky in a social circle

She's not friends with you; she is someone that barely stomachs you in her presence, as part of the greater social group you're both in. She didn't text you back because in her eyes, you are not even worthy enough to be in her outer orbit; you have been socially orphaned by her. And if she does have some comity towards you, it's probably as you being the Jester.

I'd pretend like I don't even recognize her, although if you happen to lock eyes, have the decency to say "hi", and then continue on.

 

[MatureDJ]

Dude...if you're in a social circle and cool with those people, just be cool with those people.

Ignore her and focus on the people in that circle you care about.

A Social SubCircle?

 

[PlatoPacks23]

She's not friends with you; she is someone that barely stomachs you in her presence, as part of the greater social group you're both in. She didn't text you back because in her eyes, you are not even worthy enough to be in her outer orbit; you have been socially orphaned by her. And if she does have some comity towards you, it's probably as you being the Jester.

I'd pretend like I don't even recognize her, although if you happen to lock eyes, have the decency to say "hi", and then continue on.

that's a lot of broad assumptions off of her not responding to one text

again, we went out once and then she offered to go out again but for a lesser thing and I declined and since then it's been weird.

having said that, the general conclusion seems to be ill ignore her in general moving forward until she makes an effort with me (or doesn't) since she is the one who "dropped the ball"

 

[BackInTheGame78]

well yeah ive asked her out basically (or she knows I want to) and she's been MIXED. so I just kinda didn't think it was worth the energy and just did the "being friends" thing.

so your advice would be to just ignore her? I don't even know how to go about this since I didn't expect her not to write back and we see each other often. If roles were reversed I would just send a text rather than making it awkward.

But the roles aren't reversed. You want to fvck her and she knows it meaning she has all the power.

You are spending way too much mental and emotional energy over something that essentially is meaningless in the grand scheme of things.

You weren't going to fvck her even if she sent a text back...you still aren't going to fvck her after she didn't. Nothing has changed, other than you having your hamster wheel spinning nonstop for no reason.

Also women don't give "mixed signals". Those are her being nice hoping you take the hint she isn't interested.

 

[RangerMIke]

The OP is too worried about things he cannot control.

No one is obligated to respond to any messages. Is it rude? Sure, but this person is just showing you who they are, be grateful that you now know and move on.

But let me say one thing.... many women are hyper vigilante about men that reach out to them. All women I know have stories about some dude that they were nice and friendly towards that ended up turning into a creepy @ss stalker. Many women are b1tchy and rude because it is better than having some crazy dude harassing her.

 

[Divorced w 3]

OP….You can’t fool the old heads on this board, you just can’t. The internet sussed you and your motives out in like, three posts. How do you think this woman and the entire group you’re a part of are seeing this?

Also, there was a post the other day about guys who look for advice and then fight the guys they are asking for help. It’s a waste of your time.

 

[Clockwerk50]

As a side note, you can’t force anyone to be friends with you either, male or female. Both sides of a friendship have to agree that the friendship actually exists.

"I like you! You have to like me back or else!"

“Either you like me OR ELSE!"

That’s how the whole post sounds OP; it is creepy and desperate. You obviously have her on a pedestal or she is the “prize” as most people would say here. Talk to more women.

 

[HaleyBaron]

however I was fine being friends with her

Lesson 1: Never be friends with the opposite sex. It's definitely a waste of time for men.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Now typically I would just blatantly ignore her and not even say anything to her, BUT I am in a social circle and we share similar friends AND I see her a lot in class (which is why I found it super rude she didn't even respond..)

I honestly think she'd just act like, "oh I missed it I was so busy, sorry!" if I see her when I know that's BS, but how would you act in a scenario where you continue to see her over and over? confront her? pretend it never happened (seems like a ***** move on my part)?

I kinda want to mention it to her, and then after she's aware of it just ignore her rest of time but idk. it's tricky in a social circle

No offence but you sound a bit socially retarded. You can say "hi" and "bye" if you run into her in person to keep things from being awkward but what's the point of texting her for "recommendations"? She's not responding because she doesn't want you to incorrectly assume that she's interested.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

No offence but you sound a bit socially retarded. You can say "hi" and "bye" if you run into her in person to keep things from being awkward but what's the point of texting her for "recommendations"? She's not responding because she doesn't want you to incorrectly assume that she's interested.

bc the recommendations were based on what her job was

 

[BackInTheGame78]

bc the recommendations were based on what her job was

 

[PlatoPacks23]

lol I mean it's true but whatever

the intention was to get a convo going so yeah whatever


good news is I am trying a new tac and *basically just ignoring her and moving on so either it works, or I have more energy to focus on other people

win win.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

lol I mean it's true but whatever

the intention was to get a convo going so yeah whatever


good news is I am trying a new tac and *basically just ignoring her and moving on so either it works, or I have more energy to focus on other people

win win.

You may fool yourself, but you aren't fooling any of us. We know why you were texting her and so did she.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

You may fool yourself, but you aren't fooling any of us. We know why you were texting her and so did she.

umm yeah? I just said that in the 2nd line.

I'm seeing the positive in this if you want to just keep repeating what I already said lol

 

[upcoming_DJ]

It sounds like you are butt hurt that she didn’t reciprocate your advances.

To be honest, your best game plan is to let it go and act like none of this ever happened: no texts, no hang outs, no romantic interest. Stop pursuing her; keep her at an arms length. In the grant scheme of things, it is not a big deal.

It is the best route to take for everyone involved.

This right here. The way to go.