Trying to get this girl (need advice)

[AntoniousIV]

So during college one day I saw a poster which spoke about extracellular activities like learning law. I signed up for the law part, not because law interests me, but to make friends and potentially find a cute girl.

We go every saturday, I've been there twice. First time ppl were getting to know eachother and the first session was saturday 10:30 and second session 4:30. I went to the 4:30 session, and there was this cute short girl which had went to both. We talked a little, she was giving me some iois and seemed and still does seem interested.

After I went to coffee with 2 friends I made, they were friends with the girl so I asked the girl and her orbiter (separate) to come with us and she said where, I said some spot and she declined, but not in a bad way ig. And we talked some before we separated and went our own way.

Second time I hadnt cleaned my sweather properly so didnt talk much, she just looked at me smiling and I nodded (which I cringe about and i know it was a mistake, shouldve smiled back) (and also when i looked at her she held.eye contact then locked down and I looked away like a dumbass instead of still holding).

Next saturday I wanna invite her to coffe alone one on one, unlike last time. Any advice? Should I go slow and invite her and her friend orbiter which i forgot to mention first?

 

[Isildur1]

I think overall micro-analysing one particular situation is usually a sign you need to increase options and open other women . The more options you have the less invested and prone to overthinking you will be which can ruin your seductions

you also never want A date where she’s bringing a friend never make that compromise- it happened to me one time and it went ****.

if she’s denying hanging out with you it’s also a sign she’s not interested

 

[BillyPilgrim]

If you're shy around the girl to begin with, you want alcohol and not coffee OP.

 

[BPH]

invite her and her friend orbiter which i forgot to mention first?

Why the hell would you ever think this is a good idea?

 

[AntoniousIV]

Why the hell would you ever think this is a good idea?

If I did that then its like "easing into it" and I could flirt infront of him or smthn.

 

[AntoniousIV]

If you're shy around the girl to begin with, you want alcohol and not coffee OP.

I wasnt shy around her, i just couldnt talk the second time cus my sweather wasnt cleaned well, and I didnt notice before it was too late

 

[AntoniousIV]

I think overall micro-analysing one particular situation is usually a sign you need to increase options and open other women . The more options you have the less invested and prone to overthinking you will be which can ruin your seductions

you also never want A date where she’s bringing a friend never make that compromise- it happened to me one time and it went ****.

if she’s denying hanging out with you it’s also a sign she’s not interested

What do you suggest? I ask her to come 1on1 with me? I was thinking I tell her "You look really good today, lets go for a coffee"

Edit 1: Also what are your suggestions on creating more options, i barely found this girl.

 

[BPH]

If I did that then its like "easing into it" and I could flirt infront of him or smthn.

No...why would you bring along and assumedly pay for another guy to distract this girl from you while also subsidizing his goal of also trying to sleep with her? If a girl even asks to bring a +1 on a date, she's not that interested.

I wasnt shy around her, i just couldnt talk the second time cus my sweather wasnt cleaned well, and I didnt notice before it was too late

You're shy...you took a college class as a 36-year old man for the sole intention of meeting girls. Additionally, you've attended this class at least two weeks in a row, double sessions, and are considering entertaining her orbiter because you don't have the confidence to be with her on your own.

Nobody cares how clean your sweater is, least of all her...so long as you don't have mom's spaghetti all over it.

What do you suggest? I ask her to come 1on1 with me? I was thinking I tell her "You look really good today, lets go for a coffee"

Edit 1: Also what are your suggestions on creating more options, i barely found this girl.

Invite her out 1-on-1, to drinks, at night, on a weekend. If she declines, she's not interested. If she accepts, take risks. Based on how you've played this so far and how you're likely to play it, you lack self-confidence and are likely to fail. Accept that fact, remove your dependence on the outcome, and do things that are outside your comfort zone - like going for the kiss on a first date.

 

[AntoniousIV]

No...why would you bring along and assumedly pay for another guy to distract this girl from you while also subsidizing his goal of also trying to sleep with her? If a girl even asks to bring a +1 on a date, she's not that interested.



You're shy...you took a college class as a 36-year old man for the sole intention of meeting girls. Additionally, you've attended this class at least two weeks in a row, double sessions, and are considering entertaining her orbiter because you don't have the confidence to be with her on your own.

Nobody cares how clean your sweater is, least of all her...so long as you don't have mom's spaghetti all over it.



Invite her out 1-on-1, to drinks, at night, on a weekend. If she declines, she's not interested. If she accepts, take risks. Based on how you've played this so far and how you're likely to play it, you lack self-confidence and are likely to fail. Accept that fact, remove your dependence on the outcome, and do things that are outside your comfort zone - like going for the kiss on a first date.

Im not 36, im 20. I messed up when inputing my age

Also my sweater smelled like sweat. I guess i kinda do lack confidence cus im afraid of asking her to go for drinks.

 

[Learning Curve]

Here is your solution:

Go to her, open a conversation , create some attraction and ask her for a phone number on the spot.

Be direct and decisive stop wasting time, worst thing that can happen you will get rejected and move on.

You seem to have zero experience in properly creating attraction from a distance, and escalating so until you get that experience be direct and go straight for the kill, you will increase your confidence this way and you will stop overthinking every single move.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Wrong from the start. You don't sign up for stuff you have no interest in to meet women.

 

[AntoniousIV]

Here is your solution:

Go to her, open a conversation , create some attraction and ask her for a phone number on the spot.

Be direct and decisive stop wasting time, worst thing that can happen you will get rejected and move on.

You seem to have zero experience in properly creating attraction from a distance, and escalating so until you get that experience be direct and go straight for the kill, you will increase your confidence this way and you will stop overthinking every single move.

Ok sounds good. Yeah sadly I dont have experience with that, and girls overall. Most girls who showed iois I never talked to cus I was too shy. I'll try ask her out.

Imma do it when the law class ends and when we're leaving I'll walk with them for 2 mins talk a lil then ask her to get drinks.

 

[BPH]

Ok sounds good. Yeah sadly I dont have experience with that, and girls overall. Most girls who showed iois I never talked to cus I was too shy. I'll try ask her out.

Imma do it when the law class ends and when we're leaving I'll walk with them for 2 mins talk a lil then ask her to get drinks.

Dude, you don't have to plan this...you're asking for her number, not proposing. Stop making this more difficult for yourself.

 

[Bokanovsky]

Second time I hadnt cleaned my sweather properly so didnt talk much, she just looked at me smiling and I nodded (which I cringe about and i know it was a mistake, shouldve smiled back) (and also when i looked at her she held.eye contact then locked down and I looked away like a dumbass instead of still holding).

You are 36 years old????

 

[AntoniousIV]

You are 36 years old????

Im 20

 

[AntoniousIV]

Dude, you don't have to plan this...you're asking for her number, not proposing. Stop making this more difficult for yourself.

I should let it come naturally?

 

[BPH]

I should let it come naturally?

No, because I know you're gonna interpret that as "wait for the right moment".

Literally just ask her for her number so you can grab drinks this weekend and if she declines then forget she exists.