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In this post, I'll cover why I think the indirect approach, while it can work, it's less effective than the direct; particularly as it relates to casual sex.
Why is the indirect approach less effective than direct?
Because it is a gamble.
Yes, a gamble.
When a man is indirect with a woman, he is gambling with his..
1.
Time: Spending countless minutes talking to an attractive woman in person in an attempt to be charming or funny in order to build rapport.
Or countless hours talking to a woman on the phone to achieve that same goal.
2.
Money: Spending money for dates and/or drinks on women, in order to build rapport.
3.
Ego: A man's ego (pride, self-esteem, confidence) is more likely to be damaged with an indirect approach.
Strictly in terms of protecting ones peace of mind (ego), the indirect approach fails...or is at least less effective than direct.
Time. Money. Ego.
(TME).
A man will take a gamble with his TME for the possibility of sex (Alan Roger Currier's book: The Possibility of Sex).
I will share my experiences with each aspect of TME.
Time: A few months ago, I was at Fry's grocery store, which is my favorite grocery store chain to cold approach besides Walmart.
I walked through the store and scanned for any viable candidates for an approach..which turned up nothing.
I grabbed a few items to purchase and headed to checkout.
While at the self checkout machine, I looked up and noticed a Black, older, thick woman who worked at the bank inside the store.
She seemed to be looking my way at me.
So, I decided to go over and holla at her..which is what I did.
After purchasing my items, I went over to speak to her.
She was the only person working at that time, and she had a nice, hefty rack..which I noticed with ever step of getting closer to her.
Perfect candidate.
I approached the counter and gave her my typical "Are you single?" opening line.
She said yes, and from there I took a seat in the patron chairs at the counter...and she took a seat behind the counter, and we began to converse.
Now, during the conversation with this woman..I was polite, charming, and funny.
She laughed at my jokes and seemed very much interested in my company.
We sat there, undisturbed for no less than half hour, which damn near felt like a first date.
We had nice chemistry..she got to know a little about me, and vice versa.
After about a half hour of good vibes, we were interrupted by actual bank patrons.
I excused myself, while at the same time writing down my number on the back of a business card, and prompted her to hit me at her leisure.
Now, you'd think that based on all that vibing and chit chat, she'd hit me up, right?
Well, guess what?
Never heard from her again.
All I put into it, only to be ultimately rejected.
All that, for nothing.
So, by her not contacting me, she rejected..
1. Any phone conversations.
2. Any dates.
3. And most importantly, any sex.
Based on this^, it is safe to say that besides flattering conversation for her, the conversation meant nothing.
So in essence, I wasted time.
.......
Or, how about this..
You invite a chick over to you crib to "chill".
You want to smash, but you don't tell her this because you think that being too direct will turn her away.
So you invite her over for a "Netflix & Chill" night, and whatever happens, happen.
So, she comes over..and you two are vibing; watching a movie, talking, chilling.
Everything is going well, so you decide to progress things, by beginning to kiss her.
She offers no objections, so you begin to progress things further by attempting to undress her.
She stops you "Uh, uh. You didn't say we were gonna do any of this. You said we were gonna watch a movie and chill".
You think "Well, biitch, what do you think I invited you over for?"
.....
I've never been in that situation before, but many guys have.
You see, being indirect leaves the door open for misunderstandings, and disappointments.
Now, you just wasted time by taking a gamble with the possibility of sex..and you lost.
.......
Money: Question.
Would you take a woman out on a date (and undoubtedly pay for her meal), if you KNEW that she ultimately won't have sex with you?
Probably not.
But, since you don't know whether she will have sex with you, you take her out on a date based on the possibility that she will.
But that is a gamble.
Suppose you take a woman out on a date (or multiple dates), and in the end, you never came close to smashing?
You've wasted time, and money.
How many of you guys have been there?
You would have been better off taking the money you wasted on the date, and hiring a prostitute or escort.
At least you are guaranteed to have sex and get your rocks off.
.....
Listen, women have been known to use men for their non-sexual time and money.
A woman will go out on a date with a man without having any intentions of having sex with him.
Many men have testified to this, and many women have admitted this.
And that is why going indirect is less superior than direct.
Going indirect leaves the door open for "You didn't say X" nonsense..
or, "I never said I would do Y" bulljive.
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Ego: Disappointments from indirect can lead to bad vibes and bruised egos.
But since most guys never even give direct game a consideration, they will keep repeating the cycle until they finally hit the jackpot.
But there is a better, more efficient way.
Now, can you achieve success with being indirect? Sure.
But, it can come at a cost.
A TME cost.
The Direct Approach is next
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