jhonny9546
Master Don Juan
Hi there!
There are people who get attacked here on the forum, even though they are trying to learn from their lives and experiences. These individuals want to connect with others, whether they are more experienced or not, who have gone through similar situations but in different cultures.
This might seem trivial, but it actually generates a lot of dissent here. It’s easy to understand how people who have lived in the United States try to give advice to those living in Italy.
For example: as soon as they see posts that they consider problematic, users are mocked, and the forum takes on a different tone. We cannot blame anyone; we simply need to recognize that our cultures are different.
Speaking from my experience, I don’t know if it works the same way for you but in Italy, the relationship between men and women has deep historical roots.
In the 1930s, men would get angry easily while women managed the household and raised children—often 7 or 8 per family. Relationships were forced and often based on hatred and fear/dread as was the case with my grandfather and grandmother.
Fast forward to my father’s generation in the 1960s, where there was an attempt to replicate what had been done before but with fewer children—less than three per family. The situation remained similar but men were more sensitive and reactive while women had a more dominant role.
Using my father as an example, I see that he perfectly represents the Italian man-woman relationship. Many families are structured this way; it’s the majority in Italy. Men are very reactive to women’s tests and can get angry easily. They are reliable but lose control quickly (just a bit of traffic can ruin their day or have them swear god).
When their wives are on their menstrual cycle, they might "run away" to find comfort at the nearest bar, where they gossip with other men who have done the same.
With children, there are issues because they struggle to command respect or discipline them. They possess some positive traits derived from their negative behaviors: the IDGAF attitude and irrational confidence stemming from their fixed mindset.
Most of current relationships, for example my friends with their high school girlfriends follow this pattern. Couples who have reached their 40s exhibit similar behaviors to those of my parents. Sometimes I wonder if the man described here as a "DJ" is truly what women are looking for, in Italy, considering they also grew up with feminine/broken fathers and dominant mothers.
Basically any father here in Italy it's not replying well to a **** test, but the contrary.. and that keep him in a LTR? How strange...
That’s why I see men who could embody good "DJ" behavior being regarded as high-value men in Italy; they may be successful sexually but fail in relationships.
Living something for which we weren’t programmed hurts because we’ve wasted time doing things incorrectly. It hurts even more to realize that we must accept our flaws and continually learn more.
But when you elevate yourself above the mediocrity of those around you, women notice it.
Most importantly, You too!
You will feel different: independent and mature.
Now returning to the issue of cultural differences: Is the situation of monogamous relationships in Italy similar to that in your country? What do you consider to be the ideal monogamous relationship, and how could it be applied in your cultural context? Given the conditioning received by both sexes, does anyone truly know what they want?
If someone grow up in this kind of LTR, let's say a woman, how could she desire a "DJ" when is father is a "women" in the first instance?
There are people who get attacked here on the forum, even though they are trying to learn from their lives and experiences. These individuals want to connect with others, whether they are more experienced or not, who have gone through similar situations but in different cultures.
This might seem trivial, but it actually generates a lot of dissent here. It’s easy to understand how people who have lived in the United States try to give advice to those living in Italy.
For example: as soon as they see posts that they consider problematic, users are mocked, and the forum takes on a different tone. We cannot blame anyone; we simply need to recognize that our cultures are different.
Speaking from my experience, I don’t know if it works the same way for you but in Italy, the relationship between men and women has deep historical roots.
In the 1930s, men would get angry easily while women managed the household and raised children—often 7 or 8 per family. Relationships were forced and often based on hatred and fear/dread as was the case with my grandfather and grandmother.
Fast forward to my father’s generation in the 1960s, where there was an attempt to replicate what had been done before but with fewer children—less than three per family. The situation remained similar but men were more sensitive and reactive while women had a more dominant role.
Using my father as an example, I see that he perfectly represents the Italian man-woman relationship. Many families are structured this way; it’s the majority in Italy. Men are very reactive to women’s tests and can get angry easily. They are reliable but lose control quickly (just a bit of traffic can ruin their day or have them swear god).
When their wives are on their menstrual cycle, they might "run away" to find comfort at the nearest bar, where they gossip with other men who have done the same.
With children, there are issues because they struggle to command respect or discipline them. They possess some positive traits derived from their negative behaviors: the IDGAF attitude and irrational confidence stemming from their fixed mindset.
Most of current relationships, for example my friends with their high school girlfriends follow this pattern. Couples who have reached their 40s exhibit similar behaviors to those of my parents. Sometimes I wonder if the man described here as a "DJ" is truly what women are looking for, in Italy, considering they also grew up with feminine/broken fathers and dominant mothers.
Basically any father here in Italy it's not replying well to a **** test, but the contrary.. and that keep him in a LTR? How strange...
That’s why I see men who could embody good "DJ" behavior being regarded as high-value men in Italy; they may be successful sexually but fail in relationships.
Living something for which we weren’t programmed hurts because we’ve wasted time doing things incorrectly. It hurts even more to realize that we must accept our flaws and continually learn more.
But when you elevate yourself above the mediocrity of those around you, women notice it.
Most importantly, You too!
You will feel different: independent and mature.
Now returning to the issue of cultural differences: Is the situation of monogamous relationships in Italy similar to that in your country? What do you consider to be the ideal monogamous relationship, and how could it be applied in your cultural context? Given the conditioning received by both sexes, does anyone truly know what they want?
If someone grow up in this kind of LTR, let's say a woman, how could she desire a "DJ" when is father is a "women" in the first instance?
