humiliating yourself at social events

[SW15]

At the last wedding I went to (when I was 14), I was seated at a table with various middle schoolers/high schoolers who knew the bride and groom in some way.

In the 2010s-2020s, the trend of a child-free wedding has gotten common. You are referencing a 2005 wedding, before this trend really took off.

A December 2023 New York Times article mentions this child-free wedding trend.

In a story about this phenomenon in December 2023 for New York Times, Hilary Sheinbaum includes this astounding statistic: “Of 4,000 couples with 2024 wedding dates, 79.5 percent are in favor of kid-free weddings.”

The Trouble with Child-Free Weddings | Common Good Magazine

Marriage is necessarily about family. So why can’t kids come to an overwhelming percentage of ceremonies?

commongoodmag.com

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

We can talk about whether men can score at weddings, but @GoodMan32 isn't able to approach women anyway, so why even this thread? It's not like his awkwardness at social events is going to change as long as he cannot talk with women.

 

[GoodMan32]

In the 2010s-2020s, the trend of a child-free wedding has gotten common. You are referencing a 2005 wedding, before this trend really took off.

A December 2023 New York Times article mentions this child-free wedding trend.

The Trouble with Child-Free Weddings | Common Good Magazine

Marriage is necessarily about family. So why can’t kids come to an overwhelming percentage of ceremonies?

commongoodmag.com

Skimmed the article.

From what I skimmed, the main reasons for the childfree wedding trend are:

-Adults getting drunk without kids being present
-Bridezillas wanting everything to be perfect (Which means no disruptive kids. As the article points out, however, adults are capable of being extremely disruptive too...especially when extremely intoxicated)

 

[GoodMan32]

We can talk about whether men can score at weddings, but @GoodMan32 isn't able to approach women anyway, so why even this thread? It's not like his awkwardness at social events is going to change as long as he cannot talk with women.

The thread isn't just about weddings.

I'm 33, not a teen anymore. I can at least talk to broads platonically now.

It's more my unfamiliarity with social norms (and my difficulty relating to others) that gets in the way at social events at my current age.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I'm 33, not a teen anymore

Not physically perhaps

 

[GoodMan32]

Not physically perhaps

I'm an interesting character. In some ways, I'm (on the inside) a teen who never grew up.

Yet in other ways, I'm an old man on the inside.

 

[BaronOfHair]

I'm an interesting character. In some ways, I'm (on the inside) a teen who never grew up.

Yet in other ways, I'm an old man on the inside.

Like all of us humans, you're a complex blend of elements, some of which war with one another occasionally. You're really not that special or interesting, and this is something to be grateful for, GM.... The difficulties you currently face are ones which billions of men throughout the history of our species have overcome

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I'm an interesting character. In some ways, I'm (on the inside) a teen who never grew up.
Yet in other ways, I'm an old man on the inside.

Collecting embarrassing quirks and fetishes don't make you 'interesting'. There's nothing 'intriguing' about you, even if you wish that to be so. You never grew up. Not just inside, you're still living on your parents pocket. What's more, without their support you would 'die' as you say so dramatically. So you cannot even take care of yourself. You are immature, playing that you're an adult.

Yet in other ways, I'm an old man on the inside.

You're not 'old' because you like wrinkled prunes, you're just another weird autistic parasitic perv with too many social anxieties to do more that slobber after post-menopausal women, hoping he can watch them pee without accidentally getting them pregnant.

 

[GoodMan32]

Collecting embarrassing quirks and fetishes don't make you 'interesting'. There's nothing 'intriguing' about you, even if you wish that to be so. You never grew up. Not just inside, you're still living on your parents pocket. What's more, without their support you would 'die' as you say so dramatically. So you cannot even take care of yourself. You are immature, playing that you're an adult.


You're not 'old' because you like wrinkled prunes, you're just another weird autistic parasitic perv with too many social anxieties to do more that slobber after post-menopausal women, hoping he can watch them pee without accidentally getting them pregnant.

Yeah, financially I'm not an adult (Then again, an enormous percentage of men on the spectrum aren't "adults" financially. As I've said before, the fact I'm not able to fully take care of myself financially isn't a character flaw on my part; it's to be expected that a man on the spectrum, no matter how old he gets, will never be able to fully take care of himself financially)

I still do adult stuff, such as:

• Live on my own (the severely autistic wouldn't be able to live by themselves, even if they got financial assistance from parents...because the severely autistic are incapable of doing a lot of daily tasks)
• Hold a full time job (something a lot of autists are unable to do)
• Get on an airplane and travel to places on my own
• Have sex

I'm an "old man" in the sense that I have hardly any social life (and the fact that even as a teen, I had no interest in the party lifestyle)

I have a neighbor in his 90s. My social life is more comparable to his than to the social lives of the other 30 and 40 somethings in my building.

 

[SW15]

From what I skimmed, the main reasons for the childfree wedding trend are:

-Adults getting drunk without kids being present
-Bridezillas wanting everything to be perfect (Which means no disruptive kids. As the article points out, however, adults are capable of being extremely disruptive too...especially when extremely intoxicated)

I wouldn't call all of them Bridezillas.

The cost of weddings has gotten really bad in the 2010s-2020s. I don't blame the women for wanting their wedding day to be perfect given some of the extravagant costs of recent times.

Also, consider who has been getting married in the 2010s-2020s. That's been mainly Millennials. Millennial women tend to think of themselves as special little snowflakes entitled to the perfect day.

Gen Z women are starting to get to the age of marriages. It would be interesting to see how they'll be different.

 

[GoodMan32]

I wouldn't call all of them Bridezillas.

The cost of weddings has gotten really bad in the 2010s-2020s. I don't blame the women for wanting their wedding day to be perfect given some of the extravagant costs of recent times.

Also, consider who has been getting married in the 2010s-2020s. That's been mainly Millennials. Millennial women tend to think of themselves as special little snowflakes entitled to the perfect day.

Gen Z women are starting to get to the age of marriages. It would be interesting to see how they'll be different.

Since I have no desire to get married, I've never looked into costs. I'm going to take your word for it wedding costs have skyrocketed.

Still, the point (made in the article) stands: Extremely intoxicated adults are disruptive too.

Banning kids from a wedding isn't going to automatically ensure a perfect wedding.

Banning alcohol and children, on the other hand, is the best recipe for a perfect wedding.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Banning kids from a wedding isn't going to automatically ensure a perfect wedding

Yeah, the perfect wedding can only be ensured by

-Holding it at Castle Frey

-Putting Roose Bolton on the guest list

-Having the only child in attendance be one that's in utero, and not anticipating a late-term abortion

Bringing this conversation back to the topic at hand: There's yet more incentive to not sweat humiliation at a public event, wedding or otherwise...

Walking out of the place with the same number of holes you walked in with is a blessing we far too often take for granted

 

[corrector]

Just same back from the Wedding. Ended up mingling with family. Tried scoping around, but almost everyone was taken/partnered up with someone else. Felt tired when the dance started, had a coffee martini, other drinks before, etc.... and after hugging the Bride (and believe me I wanted to hug her, she gave me a nice hug before leaving....after told the groom how lucky he was to be with her (ie she's my cousin BTW, but I have been wanting to meet her for some time in the last decade), I guess that flattered her

Anyway, food was great. The moment was great. Had a nice selfie with my cousin. Hugged other cousins, all my cousins are very attractive so the hugs were all great. I'm going to make sure I don't complain about getting hugs from women for the next month or so...really got my fills on hugs.

Therefore, if I was looking for hugging up women (ie being first cousins blood relatives, if that also counts?), and especially the Bride, it was a success. Again, I don't feel events like this lend itself to allot of single women showing up. Perhaps if I mingled with the Groom's side a bit more, or stayed around and scoped for someone to dance with, if the event lend itself to that later (ie if there was some sort of singles dance mixer or something), then that might have happened? However, given the fact that two other posters in here said the event does not lend itself to that, then I think I probably sneeked out at the right time.

At least I had enough good interactions with the opposite sex today so I shouldn't feel as interaction-hungry when I go to work on Tuesday or next week. Hopefully some of that good social energy will stay throughout the week/month.

New things that were done out of the ordinary:
1) Selfie with cousin
2) Alcohol consumed (4-5 drinks, and a coffee martini, etc...)
3) Hugged cousins up. Very warm hugs by them.

Anything where I would have regretted going and/or staying home and doing something else?
1) Definitely preferred to go to this Wedding...it was an experience.
2) There was no need to have felt anxious prior this wedding since I was dealing with family rather than strangers.


I'll leave it at that and circle back to see if there is any more feedback.