Field Report: Communication After First Date

[upcoming_DJ]

Hey folks, I got some great albeit conflicting suggestions from the forum on communication after a first date.

I know this girl for years, not personally, but knew her sister and we have a 6 year age difference. I started talking to her on social media and quickly suggested to hang out on friday night this past weekend and she agreed.

Picked her up without telling her what we'll do or where we're going. Had a great time, lots of laughing, light humor, teasing, I dropped sexual innuendos and made sure I did light touching early on in the night. I dropped her off at home and we had a fierce french kissing session where I knew if I pushed she'd probably drop her panties but I decided to wait for the second date so as not to come off "desperate".

After dropping her off, there was radio silence except for a story she liked on my instagram. I knew from previous experience that I shouldn't reach out after the date, especially since I paid for it. This gets her hamster spinning and I know she'd cave in, as did other women I've dated before.

Sure enough today, without texting me she called. I didn't pick up on the first call. She called again then I greeted her with a teasing "hello, darling of mine love of another", and she began asking me if im ok and if everything is ok, since she hadn't heard from me and that she knows I'm a busy man but that she'd appreciate hearing from me.

I basically said "I am working on a project with a deadline due Wednesday and I've been going hard at it. It Happens."

She then sent a follow up text saying she appreciates that I am a busy man but that she would really appreciate more communication. I replied with "I don't like to make any promises. We'll work on it."

she's been texting me the entire afternoon, I've replied 2 times.

Moral of the story: patience is a virtue well exercised when dealing with women. Especially attractive women. That night all guys that were at places we went to kept looking at her. I treated her like she is just another one of my bratty adventures. Showed her my middle finger when she was holding my hand in the vehicle, things like that.

I've also learnt to remove a lot of the "nice guy" trait I had before. I am happy to disagree with a woman, tell her what I dislike upfront, tell her what I like and or love as well. Teasingly mock her taste in certain things or guys she's been with before.

And she's looking forward to getting together again this weekend.

Thanks for all the great discussions on sosuave and all the DonJuans. I've come a long way and this forum is a part of my journey.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Not to be a Debby downer here but tell us when you actually have sex. Don’t count the chickens before they hatch.

 

[Reincarnated]

Sounds like a textbook example of all facets of the game firing on all cylinders. I wish we had more discussion on here centered on these kinds of posts, and less clutter from the incel-types. Good on you, but like @Clockwerk50 says, it's not in the bag until it is. You're thinking about these things with the proper clarity, which says a lot.

 

[Bingo-Player]

. I dropped her off at home and we had a fierce french kissing session where I knew if I pushed she'd probably drop her panties but I decided to wait for the second date so as not to come off "desperate".

If you knew she was DTF then you should have capitalised on it there and then

That romcom / Disney move of "being a gentleman and waiting" is dumb most women in 2024 have had many a one night stand wether they care to admit it or not

I highly doubt this one is a born again virgin ....

You've taken her on a date things have obviously physically escalated it makes zero sense to then back off when it comes to crunch time unless she's not really doing much for you

I would have either invited her over or invited myself into her place

From there sex is pretty much guaranteed she doesn't care about the chivalry she she wants to be stripped naked and thrown on the bed as much as you want to do it too her , she just wants you to instigate it so she can act like it happened spontaneously

Make sure it happens on the next one and if you can get away with it fvck her in the A$$

 

[upcoming_DJ]

Thanks a lot for the feedback DJs, I'll work on getting this one in the bag. If I don't bang her on this second date (and it wont be because of me), I'll hard next her.

@Clockwerk50 @Reincarnated @Bingo-Player

 

[BPH]

Overall, I think you did ok, but I want to highlight some things...

I dropped her off at home and we had a fierce french kissing session where I knew if I pushed she'd probably drop her panties but I decided to wait for the second date so as not to come off "desperate".

This part especially hurts to read...it's like being given a layup and completely missing the dunk. You will lose more opportunities by being too passive than too assertive. Lead the interaction.

Sure enough today, without texting me she called. I didn't pick up on the first call. She called again then I greeted her with a teasing "hello, darling of mine love of another", and she began asking me if im ok and if everything is ok, since she hadn't heard from me and that she knows I'm a busy man but that she'd appreciate hearing from me.

This read kinda weird to me...you're purposely playing the no-contact game for no reason, and then when you respond your "tease" is not something anybody ever says...what are you doing here? If I were you I'd have texted her the next day that you had a good time and set up the second date.

That way she doesn't feel "used" because you just made out with her then ghosted her, knows she'll see you again soon, and knows you had a good time with her and isn't left wondering whether she did something that was a dealbreaker during the date.

A lot of this reads like you're following some sort of mental guide on how you should behave, rather than naturally coming across as somebody desirable.

It sounds like her interest level is extremely high if she's already agreed on a second date, considering how you've behaved with her, so good luck to you. But a lot of what you did here - the games you're playing despite not closing when given the opportunity, generally won't fly with most women.

 

[upcoming_DJ]

Overall, I think you did ok, but I want to highlight some things...



This part especially hurts to read...it's like being given a layup and completely missing the dunk. You will lose more opportunities by being too passive than too assertive. Lead the interaction.



This read kinda weird to me...you're purposely playing the no-contact game for no reason, and then when you respond your "tease" is not something anybody ever says...what are you doing here? If I were you I'd have texted her the next day that you had a good time and set up the second date.

That way she doesn't feel "used" because you just made out with her then ghosted her, knows she'll see you again soon, and knows you had a good time with her and isn't left wondering whether she did something that was a dealbreaker during the date.

A lot of this reads like you're following some sort of mental guide on how you should behave, rather than naturally coming across as somebody desirable.

It sounds like her interest level is extremely high if she's already agreed on a second date, considering how you've behaved with her, so good luck to you. But a lot of what you did here - the games you're playing despite not closing when given the opportunity, generally won't fly with most women.

thanks for sharing this, will def keep in mind!