Recurrent relationship patterns

[jhonny9546]

Let’s analyze a situation together. I know of a relationship involving an acquaintance of mine who has been with a girl for six years, and there is a pattern that always repeats itself. What is his name? Is it possible to identify it and understand why it works?

The Pattern
Two Weeks of Harmony: For two weeks, they are fine—low drama and thriving.
One Week of Turmoil: For one week, they (90% she) put everything on the line. She becomes bitter and wants to leave him, resulting in high drama that is often unmanageable. During this time, she might engage in behaviors such as going back to her parents' house or telling him that he is not the man in her life.
Cycle Repeats: After this tumultuous week, the cycle starts again. She seeks to make peace with him, he is initially a bit cold, but eventually, he takes her back, and the pattern repeats.


What are these types of relationships called, and why does the pattern work to keep them together?
What's here the underlying scheme?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

They are called toxic and codependent. Do not get involved in them.

 

[jhonny9546]

They are called toxic and codependent. Do not get involved in them.

Oh I'm gonna learn on the subject, since I'm sure there are red flags a woman shows you, and also, things that works to make her "codependent" or increase her "codependency" to you.
But basically, looks like a bad relationship setup, but the curious thing was me asking myself how could this relationship lasts so long, in the first instance. Look like the two partners have fear to lose their "toxic routine"?

 

[BackInTheGame78]

Oh I'm gonna learn on the subject, since I'm sure there are red flags a woman shows you, and also, things that works to make her "codependent" or increase her "codependency" to you.
But basically, looks like a bad relationship setup, but the curious thing was me asking myself how could this relationship lasts so long, in the first instance. Look like the two partners have fear to lose their "toxic routine"?

Yes, the red flags are when she tells you thing about herself that should make you run away, actually believe them instead of excusing them away or pretending she didn't really mean it.

She did.

People will tell you who they are early on most of the time, the other person just refuses to listen.

 

[jhonny9546]

Yes, the red flags are when she tells you thing about herself that should make you run away, actually believe them instead of excusing them away or pretending she didn't really mean it.

She did.

People will tell you who they are early on most of the time, the other person just refuses to listen.

You're so right.
I wonder how they manage to be togheter for all those year, when I read online that those relationships usually don't last. I do Imagine that now that they have kids, she want to have him like a beta husband, and have all her plates on her side ****ing her.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

You're so right.
I wonder how they manage to be togheter for all those year, when I read online that those relationships usually don't last. I do Imagine that now that they have kids, she want to have him like a beta husband, and have all her plates on her side ****ing her.

Because men allow themselves to turn into doormats

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I wonder how they manage to be togheter for all those year, when I read online that those relationships usually don't last

Because a lot of guys follow their penis and allow women to take charge.

 

[jhonny9546]

You hit the nail on the head—it happened to me too.

I’ve noticed a recurring pattern with certain types of women. Many of them struggle with addictions, whether it be to drugs, alcohol, food, sex, or shopping, and they often cycle through these addictions at different stages of their lives. When I interact with them, they tend to be "yes" women, exhibiting a childlike voice that quickly transforms into a more aggressive demeanor when they’re alone with you. Conversations can feel one-sided, as if my words simply bounce off them without making an impact.


A man must accept that these women may cheat easily and discreetly. They can love you one day and resent you the next. From my experience, many of them stay with someone who may not be conventionally attractive (ugly)—someone they believe will never leave or cheat on them. They fear abandonment and seek validation from someone stable, while pursuing other interests (such as sucking a big **** after her pilates lesson, while her men it's at his corporate job all day long).

These women are often intelligent and skilled at manipulation, blurring the lines between reality and their facade. The relationship can be a rollercoaster of extreme highs and lows, leading to frequent disrespect. A healthy man would typically walk away at the first signs of this behavior, but I was not a mature men yet and stayed for the perks:intense sexual experiences and the thrill of being desired.

While sex was exhilarating—she would often implore me for it daily—it became clear that it lacked genuine passion. It felt more like she sought pain followed by the comfort of cuddling. My analysis stems from my past experiences with a borderline woman; after our relationship ended, I found myself fixated on her (oneitis). This marked the beginning of my journey toward understanding relationships better and striving to mature as a man.


Navigating this process was challenging, especially considering the wild sexual experiences we shared. There were moments that felt more animalistic than human, where I was living solely to please her. She would give me 1 hour ******* and that wasn't enought to satisfy her.

Now, I strive to recognize red flags in women more clearly. I believe that while a woman exhibiting borderline behaviors may not be suitable for a LTR she could potentially fit into a FWB (YMMV).
Women who are addicted to sex often struggle to maintain stability in an LTR due to their impulses, and will just complicate your life.

I have concerns about my friend’s current relationship; it seems he might be experiencing what I once did.
However, each situation is unique, and he may find enjoyment in this lifestyle.

This what helped me to identify the woman, and the relationship pattern https://www.italianseduction.club/forum/t-52550-relazioni-borderline-psycho/#comment-1574551