Girls constantly changing topics

[PlatoPacks23]

I've noticed recently two attractive girls are just constantly changing topics and jumping from thing to thing with no rhyme or reason. Is it the guys job to really just stop their random conversations and always get things back on topic? why do they do this? it's odd and tiresome

 

[Demarcon]

they enjoy it when they see you cant joining the conversation when they keep you out of the conversation. For me that means disrespect. I would find something else to do if this happens to me.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

I've noticed recently two attractive girls are just constantly changing topics and jumping from thing to thing with no rhyme or reason. Is it the guys job to really just stop their random conversations and always get things back on topic? why do they do this? it's odd and tiresome

If you can't even lead a conversation, how can you lead anything else in their mind?

They are inadvertently testing you and you are failing.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

they enjoy it when they see you cant joining the conversation when they keep you out of the conversation. For me that means disrespect. I would find something else to do if this happens to me.

no I didn't mean they are talking to each other. I meant two separate 1 on 1 conversations w them privately, they have a tendency to just skip around bouncing from topic to topic

 

[PlatoPacks23]

If you can't even lead a conversation, how can you lead anything else in their mind?

They are inadvertently testing you and you are failing.

yeah it's tricky bc one of them is def. a control freak, so it's definitely an adjustment seeing how much they bounce around from topic to topic

and as stated above, it wasn't 2 girls having a conversation w me there, but 2 separate 1 on 1's that I had that I noticed

 

[Mike32ct]

It’s not just a girl thing. I think it’s also, to some extent, an extrovert thing. They don’t get too “attached” to a given topic. They just want to talk.

You have two choices:

1. Let them ramble on and jump in where you can. Don’t take it personally.

2. Find a chick that is more of an introvert.

 

[AmsterdamAssassin]

I've noticed recently two attractive girls are just constantly changing topics and jumping from thing to thing with no rhyme or reason. Is it the guys job to really just stop their random conversations and always get things back on topic? why do they do this? it's odd and tiresome

We used to call that the 'MTV attention span'. They cannot concentrate on one thing anymore, so their thoughts (and as a result their conversations) change course frequently.

If they do this in a conversation with you, they want to see if you can ground them and lead the conversation. If you're a good conversationalist, you won't have a problem getting them to stick to the topic.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Again, context is key. Do these girls have romantic feelings for you? Are they seeking validation from you? What are the conversations about, and where do you want them to go?

A simple, "hold that thought, are you really saying...?" may work. Nonetheless, in my early 20s, one of my friends used to speak to this woman on the phone for about 2 hours every 2 days for 2 weeks since they shared the same career and hobbies. Eventually, the dude told her he liked her and the woman said she doesn't see him like that. Basically, he was used as an emotional tampon.

 

[gwoppin]

Ive had a similar problem before, i try and centre the conversation around something interesting they mentioned during their ramblings, but people seem to get annoyed. Makes me realise people just want somebody to listen

 

[The Duke]

I've noticed recently two attractive girls are just constantly changing topics and jumping from thing to thing with no rhyme or reason. Is it the guys job to really just stop their random conversations and always get things back on topic? why do they do this? it's odd and tiresome

I suspect its two things, one is you don't talk enough so she does the majority of the talking.

The second is you aren't leading enough. If you will guide the conversation, ask appropriate questions at the right time, and stop her when she gets off track you can cure most of this problem.

If you are a person that just sits there and simply listens, you will get ran over. People do this because they like to talk a lot, or get nervous because you aren't contributing to the conversation.

 

[The Diver]

I've noticed recently two attractive girls are just constantly changing topics and jumping from thing to thing with no rhyme or reason. Is it the guys job to really just stop their random conversations and always get things back on topic? Why do they do this? it's odd and tiresome

I'm not pretending to know why they jump from topic to topic, and I don't really care why. You shouldn't be afraid to stop her abruptly mid-track with something like " "Oh, hold a second, I lost you, can we get back to talk about ****( whatever you talked about before) ", and do that every time she jumps to a different random subject but use a different warding with the same concept. ( Stop her mid-track and get back to what you talked about before she jumps topic)
That'll show her that you have no problem cutting her mid-talk ( in a way you are covertly soft-criticising her ) and guiding the conversation to where YOU want it to go.

 

[PlatoPacks23]

I suspect its two things, one is you don't talk enough so she does the majority of the talking.

The second is you aren't leading enough. If you will guide the conversation, ask appropriate questions at the right time, and stop her when she gets off track you can cure most of this problem.

If you are a person that just sits there and simply listens, you will get ran over. People do this because they like to talk a lot, or get nervous because you aren't contributing to the conversation.

I've heard it's good advice to leave silences in conversations because then she gets reactive/nervous to you... but yes a factor is definitely I am not leading strong enough conversations.

it's also 1 of them is very very talkative though I've found

 

[BillyPilgrim]

I'm not pretending to know why they jump from topic to topic, and I don't really care why. You shouldn't be afraid to stop her abruptly mid-track with something like " "Oh, hold a second, I lost you, can we get back to talk about ****( whatever you talked about before) ", and do that every time she jumps to a different random subject but use a different warding with the same concept. ( Stop her mid-track and get back to what you talked about before she jumps topic)
That'll show her that you have no problem cutting her mid-talk ( in a way you are covertly soft-criticising her ) and guiding the conversation to where YOU want it to go.

You gotta be willing to use hand gestures as well, time-out signals and stop signs with your open palm.

 

[gwoppin]

You gotta be willing to use hand gestures as well, time-out signals and stop signs with your open palm.

Try this one

 

[plumber]

the feelings and truth changes just as fast as the topics.

sorry to say it sounds like your trying to adjust to her instead of her adjusting to you.

if her interest level is high enough she will adjust this.

if they are attractive, its likely that other or last guys also noticed the same thing and moved on.

 

[gwoppin]

Try this one

Aww my middle finger emoji didnt show

 

[DarwinTaurus]

I suspect its two things, one is you don't talk enough so she does the majority of the talking.

The second is you aren't leading enough. If you will guide the conversation, ask appropriate questions at the right time, and stop her when she gets off track you can cure most of this problem.

If you are a person that just sits there and simply listens, you will get ran over. People do this because they like to talk a lot, or get nervous because you aren't contributing to the conversation.

I had a drink date today for a couple of hours that I've met through OLD / talking online for a few weeks. I let her do 80% of the talking, and guided her, asked questions where appropriate.

Texted later after we parted ways, and she apologized for talking so much, but I reframed it saying it was good to get to know her more.

Walked her to her car, and got a kiss, so hopefully worked out.

Plan on meeting again in a few days to watch the sunset, so fingers crossed.