Taken Girl Sexts Me

guitaronfire411

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It's been a long time. Got married, got divorced, had some relationships that lasted years with a covert narcissist... Then back to dating and finding out the girls I encountered had more flaws than I wanted to deal with.

So, I still kept looking online because my time was/is limited to go out due to my occupation.

I connected with a younger girl from OLD a few months ago. She immediately gave me her number and started sending me sexts right away. She gave me her real name so I found her socials. After talking to her for a few days and trying to meet, I realized within a week or two that she was taken.. and still sending me sexts and videos.

I have tried to meet her.. and to get her talking over the phone/Snapchat... And then, to meet in person.. But she was concerned about the age difference between us (around 18~ years). I was talking to other girls but we finally talked over the phone after 1-2 months (!) and then finally videochatted over Snapchat 4 months in (!). Yes.. I tried many times to get her to meet and videochat before then.

We had plans to meet up in February when she was single but then she met a guy from her class, but she never told me about him directly.

She still sends sexts, pics and videos.. And claims she loves me and I'm her favourite, yet has not met me. Clearly, the guy she met does not know about me.

Is she just looking for attention/validation or something more? Am I her backup guy? She calls and texts me almost everyday and claims we will meet up when she returns to my city after her summer break.
 

BaronOfHair

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It's been a long time. Got married, got divorced, had some relationships that lasted years with a covert narcissist... Then back to dating and finding out the girls I encountered had more flaws than I wanted to deal with.

So, I still kept looking online because my time was/is limited to go out due to my occupation.

I connected with a younger girl from OLD a few months ago. She immediately gave me her number and started sending me sexts right away. She gave me her real name so I found her socials. After talking to her for a few days and trying to meet, I realized within a week or two that she was taken.. and still sending me sexts and videos.

I have tried to meet her.. and to get her talking over the phone/Snapchat... And then, to meet in person.. But she was concerned about the age difference between us (around 18~ years). I was talking to other girls but we finally talked over the phone after 1-2 months (!) and then finally videochatted over Snapchat 4 months in (!). Yes.. I tried many times to get her to meet and videochat before then.

We had plans to meet up in February when she was single but then she met a guy from her class, but she never told me about him directly.

She still sends sexts, pics and videos.. And claims she loves me and I'm her favourite, yet has not met me. Clearly, the guy she met does not know about me.

Is she just looking for attention/validation or something more? Am I her backup guy? She calls and texts me almost everyday and claims we will meet up when she returns to my city after her summer break.
Move on. This is all just junior high level game playing, out of folks who AREN'T adolescents anymore
 

BillyPilgrim

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Stop texting with her daily OP. Take a few weeks off (soft next) and resume sexting since she is comfortable with that. At the end of the sext session, tell her to let you know when she is free.

Or move on if you find better prospects.

Edit - to answer your last questions, most chicks have a mix of motivations that vary from girl to girl. She's looking for attention and open to phucking. No chick I've ever sexted with wasn't open to phucking. Maybe she's been busy, maybe you're a backup but she'd probably have made the time by now if you hadn't been making yourself available as often as you have. If you give the opp for a chick to be an attention *****, she will usually take it. Got to be scarce if she isn't complying.
 
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Agamemnon43

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It's amazing how much time and attention simps give women to get nothing out of it.
Absolutely... time, attention, and HARD earned money. It's mind-boggling when you just get but a glimpse of how big simps most men are.
 

Chow Mein

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It's amazing how much time and attention simps give women to get nothing out of it.
Be nice :lol:

OP, it so easy to fall into the trap on a significantly younger chick. They know what you want and you have to come in gun blazing. Make your demands clear, either she walks or walks the talk. Force their hand, be transparent.

You had your shot, play it chill by randomly text her pictures of what you’re doing with you life - OCCASIONALLY. Build that interest up that you easily lost by thinking some hot young chick is interrelated in you :)

Welcome back, brotha. Please share your experiences of the marriage and divorce. It would help others since not many have been around SoSuave for 20 years!
 

inquisitor

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It's been a long time. Got married, got divorced, had some relationships that lasted years with a covert narcissist... Then back to dating and finding out the girls I encountered had more flaws than I wanted to deal with.

So, I still kept looking online because my time was/is limited to go out due to my occupation.

I connected with a younger girl from OLD a few months ago. She immediately gave me her number and started sending me sexts right away. She gave me her real name so I found her socials. After talking to her for a few days and trying to meet, I realized within a week or two that she was taken.. and still sending me sexts and videos.

I have tried to meet her.. and to get her talking over the phone/Snapchat... And then, to meet in person.. But she was concerned about the age difference between us (around 18~ years). I was talking to other girls but we finally talked over the phone after 1-2 months (!) and then finally videochatted over Snapchat 4 months in (!). Yes.. I tried many times to get her to meet and videochat before then.

We had plans to meet up in February when she was single but then she met a guy from her class, but she never told me about him directly.

She still sends sexts, pics and videos.. And claims she loves me and I'm her favourite, yet has not met me. Clearly, the guy she met does not know about me.

Is she just looking for attention/validation or something more? Am I her backup guy? She calls and texts me almost everyday and claims we will meet up when she returns to my city after her summer break.
Entertain her less. If she really is who she says she is, you'll meet her after her summer break.

In the meantime, allot more time to other, better, more surefire prospects. She seems hooked, no need to put in more effort.

Also, learn more about narcissists, so you know what behaviors to avoid.
 

RobbyDog

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She still sends sexts, pics and videos.. And claims she loves me and I'm her favourite, yet has not met me. Clearly, the guy she met does not know about me.
This right here tells you all you need to know. You have to understand that women CRAVE attention, and she keeps stringing you along because you’re willing to give her your time and attention for nothing in return.
 

zekko

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Lots of women like to fool around on their men, and just take it for granted that that's what people do.
It's up to you whether or not you want to be involved in that.
 

BaronOfHair

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Lots of women like to fool around on their men, and just take it for granted that that's what people do.
It's up to you whether or not you want to be involved in that.
As long as women are flesh and blood humans, just like us, a substantial portion of them will stray, regardless of whatever psychiatric diagnoses they have. Such is life
 

Manure Spherian

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No analysis should be given to women who aren’t the mothers of a man’s children and/ or wife (or a woman resembling a wife for all practical purposes). That goes for “plates,” “squeezes,” “FWB’s,” and “dates”.
 

zekko

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As long as women are flesh and blood humans, just like us, a substantial portion of them will stray, regardless of whatever psychiatric diagnoses they have. Such is life
That's true. Plus, I even know married couples who have an open marriage - each one can and does seek whatever outside partner they can get.
 

BaronOfHair

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That's true. Plus, I even know married couples who have an open marriage - each one can and does seek whatever outside partner they can get.
Statistics I'm not motivated enough to look up at the moment demonstrate that being monagamish is more the rule than the exception. And this has tracked over decades
 

zekko

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Statistics I'm not motivated enough to look up at the moment demonstrate that being monagamish is more the rule than the exception. And this has tracked over decades
I would hope so. Unlike some others on this forum, I don't view monogamy as a dirty word.
I'm just saying there are all types of women you might encounter out there.
 

Vanderdonck

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It's been a long time. Got married, got divorced, had some relationships that lasted years with a covert narcissist... Then back to dating and finding out the girls I encountered had more flaws than I wanted to deal with.

So, I still kept looking online because my time was/is limited to go out due to my occupation.

I connected with a younger girl from OLD a few months ago. She immediately gave me her number and started sending me sexts right away. She gave me her real name so I found her socials. After talking to her for a few days and trying to meet, I realized within a week or two that she was taken.. and still sending me sexts and videos.

I have tried to meet her.. and to get her talking over the phone/Snapchat... And then, to meet in person.. But she was concerned about the age difference between us (around 18~ years). I was talking to other girls but we finally talked over the phone after 1-2 months (!) and then finally videochatted over Snapchat 4 months in (!). Yes.. I tried many times to get her to meet and videochat before then.

We had plans to meet up in February when she was single but then she met a guy from her class, but she never told me about him directly.

She still sends sexts, pics and videos.. And claims she loves me and I'm her favourite, yet has not met me. Clearly, the guy she met does not know about me.

Is she just looking for attention/validation or something more? Am I her backup guy? She calls and texts me almost everyday and claims we will meet up when she returns to my city after her summer break.
It's been months, so this is about attention, for now anyway. You're supplying it. She may eventually fukk you but to me the dynamic seems imbalanced. For my own headspace I would pull back, tell her I've been busy (if she asks) and whenever she is in town she can drop by, that's the amount of effort I'd put into this.
 

Gamisch

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It's been months, so this is about attention, for now anyway. You're supplying it. She may eventually fukk you but to me the dynamic seems imbalanced. For my own headspace I would pull back, tell her I've been busy (if she asks) and whenever she is in town she can drop by, that's the amount of effort I'd put into this.
When you text with a woman for months and get NOTHING out of it, it's a big fat L. I amnsorry to be this harsh, but truth hurts.

If anything, a woman will be content placing you in a role where she can benefit from you while staying safe. So she has a bf for physical pleasure, you for mental stimulans, another one for logistics, a work husband ect.

Crazy how often we men get that redpill pushed down our throat. Although it might seem like a victory, eventually it's an L because all she does is leaves you frustrated. This is fun when you have multiple women in rotation , not when you "silently " still look for misses Right.
 

Vanderdonck

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This is fun when you have multiple women in rotation , not when you "silently " still look for misses Right.
This last part is especially insightful. I used to think any attention like this was simping, but I flipped the paradigm in my head. If I'm getting laid, doing approaches, and have a stable of women at any given time, not to mention pursuing my mission, the time/energy for LIGHT texting etc. is minimal. But my focus is usually elsewhere and therefore she/they become my orbiters.
 
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