Did I show too much interest in the girl by telling her about it?

[seffabullut]

while flirting with the girl, she said "I'm going to write a story where she's the main character." I said let me describe the character.

She said do it.

And I told the girl how I saw her in an artistic way, but I think I'm being a bit silly right now.

Do you think the girl would be very impressed by an artistic person or is she making fun of me by having her friends read it ://

I actually want the girl. And sometimes I know what I do is wrong but I can't understand.
I am who I am, I love reading books, artistic expressions etc. and I love making people feel special.
Do I have to change myself just because I'm bad with women?
I really can't understand this.

 

[seffabullut]

no ideas?

 

[Clockwerk50]

Did you text her this or was it in person? What happened afterwards? How many women are you talking too? Have you kissed her? Have you touched her breasts? Have you read any material in regards to dating and gender dynamics? What are your goals and objectives in life? Do you do any physical activities? Do you take care of yourself?

No, you do not need to change who are you to start dating women. You do need to be a confident man, a go getter, and a leader. You shouldn’t worry if they laugh at you if you are congruent with yourself or you find these hobbies important.

However, this post just oozes a lack of self-trust, self-control, immaturity, and self-worth.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

e

while flirting with the girl, she said "I'm going to write a story where she's the main character." I said let me describe the character.

She said do it.

And I told the girl how I saw her in an artistic way, but I think I'm being a bit silly right now.

Do you think the girl would be very impressed by an artistic person or is she making fun of me by having her friends read it ://

I actually want the girl. And sometimes I know what I do is wrong but I can't understand.
I am who I am, I love reading books, artistic expressions etc. and I love making people feel special.
Do I have to change myself just because I'm bad with women?
I really can't understand this.

If you have to ask about it here then it shows that you're already behaving in a way that isn't aligned with who you really are, unless who you really are is a person that's unsure of themselves. Why do you care what she would or would not be impressed by? If you're proud of who you are and your pursuits then simply move on if you sense she doesn't appreciate you. There are billions of women on this planet, you couldn't meet them all if you tried.

Simply accept that she may choose not to see you romantically. Always be of the mind that she may walk at any moment, only then will you come from an authentic place. A simple test is asking yourself how you'd feel if she was flirting or sleeping with other guys. If those thoughts bother you then you've become too possessive and are too emotionally invested to even effectively charm her and you should create distance by friendzoning her while pursuing other women.

 

[seffabullut]

Did you text her this or was it in person? What happened afterwards? How many women are you talking too? Have you kissed her? Have you touched her breasts? Have you read any material in regards to dating and gender dynamics? What are your goals and objectives in life? Do you do any physical activities? Do you take care of yourself?

No, you do not need to change who are you to start dating women. You do need to be a confident man, a go getter, and a leader. You shouldn’t worry if they laugh at you if you are congruent with yourself or you find these hobbies important.

However, this post just oozes a lack of self-trust, self-control, immaturity, and self-worth.

Even though I read many books on this subject, I always come back to the same question: "Should I change myself?"

Don't be needy, do this, don't do that, etc. There are many things in my mind. But at the end of the day, the person I am always comes out somewhere.

When I first started messaging a woman, I held back a little more. Then the conversation progressed. When I wrote this, the girl laughed and said it was great. But the girl who messages me every morning didn't message me today..

I have hobbies, I do sports (I gained 35 kilos due to my injury, but I'm on a diet.), I am a dentistry student..

I don't talk to many women because as I wrote in my previous post, I live in a small city. Since it's summer, the girl went to another city. We met on Instagram. We are at the same school and she will come in 2 months.

Although I normally find oneitis very ridiculous, it was the first time I saw a woman like this and I didn't want to miss it.

 

[seffabullut]

e

If you have to ask about it here then it shows that you're already behaving in a way that isn't aligned with who you really are, unless who you really are is a person that's unsure of themselves. Why do you care what she would or would not be impressed by? If you're proud of who you are and your pursuits then simply move on if you sense she doesn't appreciate you. There are billions of women on this planet, you couldn't meet them all if you tried.

Simply accept that she may choose not to see you romantically. Always be of the mind that she may walk at any moment, only then will you come from an authentic place. A simple test is asking yourself how you'd feel if she was flirting or sleeping with other guys. If those thoughts bother you then you've become too possessive and are too emotionally invested to even effectively charm her and you should create distance by friendzoning her while pursuing other women.

Yes, I get emotionally attached quickly, but I don't know how to overcome it. Because I've always been like this.

I would be very happy if you read the last 2 paragraphs of my message above about the other woman. I don't talk to many women. I found this on Instagram. We are at school and she will be back from vacation in 2 months.

I realized later that what I did was ridiculous, but it wasn't bad for me. I just realized that the woman would grow cold towards me.
Because all the books I read said that.
But I can't. If I like someone, if I understand that they are the right person for me after chatting, I can't hold back. I put that person at the center of my life.

 

[seffabullut]

I mean, who cares, I might say, but I really wanted this girl.

 

[EyeOnThePrize]

Yes, I get emotionally attached quickly, but I don't know how to overcome it. Because I've always been like this.

I would be very happy if you read the last 2 paragraphs of my message above about the other woman. I don't talk to many women. I found this on Instagram. We are at school and she will be back from vacation in 2 months.

I realized later that what I did was ridiculous, but it wasn't bad for me. I just realized that the woman would grow cold towards me.
Because all the books I read said that.
But I can't. If I like someone, if I understand that they are the right person for me after chatting, I can't hold back. I put that person at the center of my life.

And there it is, the quality that repels all women. Why would you put a woman at the center of your life? YOU should always remain at the center of your life. Putting her in the center implies your life is worthless and that you'll revolve around her, bending to her whim and constantly reinforcing to yourself that your time is not valuable to you, that you don't want the responsibility and agency of being your own person with your own way of life. This is effectively putting the onus on her to keep you happy, when ideally you are already happy from having a kick ass life and having her around is simply a bonus.

The solution is to take complete emotional responsibility for your actions and challenge yourself physically, mentally, and spiritually, until you're oozing confidence from every pore after having conquered yourself and the mountains you set out to climb. This is not an easy task, and it's not an overnight solution, it's a way of life. You will never perfect this, there will always be new challenges, but what's important is that you continue to learn and grow. You as a human being, like all living things, grow from controlled suffering.

Challenge yourself to travel, to network, to workout, to make money, to learn hard skills, and to serve the community with them. Create a life you're proud of. Once you come up you'll realize that not every one is worthy of entering your kingdom. You'll constantly be testing to see if they're compatible and you'll always be completely fine with them walking away.

I mean, who cares, I might say, but I really wanted this girl.

You clearly care. If she doesn't want you then what are you going to do? Try to convince her to like you? Complain about it online? Don't squander this opportunity and use the rejection as fuel for growth.

Think about it, if a girl shows she doesn't like you, a confident guy would brush it off and move on, not thinking twice. Rejection should cause aversion from you. If you continue to try and get a girl that shows she doesn't like you, then you're telling the universe you believe you should be treated like garbage. Keep it light and playful and if you sense she doesn't like you then forget about this girl and if she reaches out great, if not then move on. Find your first love in yourself and your passions, build something to bring women into rather than supplicating to them.

Focus on self love in all forms. Your whole heart is already yours, now focus on appreciating it.

We may be too far apart for my words to make sense to you, so I'm likely done here.

 

[Clockwerk50]

Even though I read many books on this subject, I always come back to the same question: "Should I change myself?"

Don't be needy, do this, don't do that, etc. There are many things in my mind. But at the end of the day, the person I am always comes out somewhere.

When I first started messaging a woman, I held back a little more. Then the conversation progressed. When I wrote this, the girl laughed and said it was great. But the girl who messages me every morning didn't message me today..

I have hobbies, I do sports (I gained 35 kilos due to my injury, but I'm on a diet.), I am a dentistry student..

I don't talk to many women because as I wrote in my previous post, I live in a small city. Since it's summer, the girl went to another city. We met on Instagram. We are at the same school and she will come in 2 months.

Although I normally find oneitis very ridiculous, it was the first time I saw a woman like this and I didn't want to miss it.

You don’t have to change who you are to attract women. However, you need to change your mentally and start respecting yourself.

1. From your post, I am assuming you don’t have anything going on for yourself and you are not talking to any other girls; you basically want this girl to “save” you and make your life more enjoyable. You think she is the missing piece to the puzzle to make your life complete. There is something making you unhappy and you have to find the root cause of this. This is the main reason why it was so easy for you to “fall in love” with her so obviously you need to fix this by being more self-sufficient and by becoming a person that lives a fulfilling life. You just want her to validate your existence, and that repels women.

2. You do not build connections through the phone. You build connections in person. The general rule is to use the phone for logistics. In your case you are her pen pal. Ask her out, lead her, and show her a good time. This is the only way to get her.

3. You need to be more social and have your priorities in check. As per point 1, you just want her validation. You must work on your goals, objectives, and have a social life. If you are in school focus on school. If you want to buy a house use your time to find resources and research the industry. Women need to be part of your world, not the other way around.

If you need more information you can PM me but you have a lot of work to do and you need action at this time.

 

[Divorced w 3]

You sound like a good person, a little bit of a romantic.

All this noise about what you should have done, just ignore it. You were true to yourself - sounds like you displayed your true self. There’s probably sometime to be said for shooting your shot and then not being a puppy chasing her, so leave it out there, and let us know if she responds and what she says. Two months before her moving here is a long time, there needs to be some sort of way to capitalize on this before hand. We will figure it out.

 

[BaronOfHair]

Even though I read many books on this subject, I always come back to the same question: "Should I change myself?"

If what you're doing isn't getting you closer to achieving your goals, YES!!!, absofu-kingloutely!!! You wouldn't go into a job interview at Goldman Sachs wearing cargo shorts, a spaghetti stained Batman T-Shirt, and Crocs, all without showering, combing your hair, and shaving, when not even Burger King would hire you looking like that. You'd evolve, rather than remaining as you were

This is true in all areas of life, thus it's mind-boggling that so many men cling tenaciously to the delusion that things are somehow different in the realm of dating and mating. And before True Believers in Red Pill Theology start screeching "Gynocentrism!!! Women can do whatever they want, and still be desired and valued!!!"... No, they can't, and the sharp ones are regularly studying other gals like so

then adopting their traits

This is life, for both genders