Should long distance relationships have daily contact?

[Jacer]

The girl I like is home for summer vacation and I can't go hang out with her due to work.
She keeps in touch with me daily by text, but I think text chatting without bringing a date is low return. It's paradoxical that frequent contact can lead to not being mysterious, however, not being in contact could lead to a distancing of our relationship.
What would you do if it were you?

 

[holidayad_]

The girl I like is home for summer vacation and I can't go hang out with her due to work.

So it's a temporary long-distance relationship?

If so, it's important to bear in mind that girls are addicted to text.

Try to balance this out and not give off a needy vibe. Show her (implicitly) that you are doing stuff and that you have a life without her.

 

[Learning Curve]

but I think text chatting without bringing a date is low return.

You are the one with the p3nis. You ask for a date.

It's paradoxical that frequent contact can lead to not being mysterious, however, not being in contact could lead to a distancing of our relationship.

No it's not.

You set a date, you have a good time, you score. Rinse-Repeat.

In the beggining a good ratio to reach out if she is not reaching out yet is 2-4 days. And you contact her to set a date not to chit chat and to have a love story from the phone.

Eventually she will reach out constantly, chasing you and all you have to do as man is set up dates until a woman is attached.

I had a long distance relationship for 4 years. It worked out, because i was free to do what ever i wanted.

But, once she came in to live together and she commited i realized is not the woman i wanted. So be careful of Long-Distance.

I don't recommend it. You can't really know how you are going to be with a person unless you spend time together. The phone does not cover this.

 

[SW15]

The girl I like is home for summer vacation and I can't go hang out with her due to work.
She keeps in touch with me daily by text,

So it's a temporary long-distance relationship?

It sounds like a temporary long-distance relationship to me. Although @Jacer is in China, the situation he describes would be extremely common with university students in the United States.

Let me give you a concrete example from the USA. Two young adults meet as students at University of Texas in Austin, TX. The shool year ends. The female goes home to her family in a suburb of Dallas, TX (3 hours from Austin) and the male goes home to his family near St. Louis, Missouri. They won't see each other much for 3 months, except for a rare trip between St. Louis and Dallas (nearly 700 miles apart).

In a situation like this, I don't think it would be necessary to text/call daily, but semi-regular contact in some form in a good idea until the new school year starts.

 

[holidayad_]

Let me give you a concrete example from the USA. Two young adults meet as students at University of Texas in Austin, TX. The shool year ends. The female goes home to her family in a suburb of Dallas, TX (3 hours from Austin) and the male goes home to his family near St. Louis, Missouri. They won't see each other much for 3 months, except for a rare trip between St. Louis and Dallas (nearly 700 miles apart).

In a situation like this, I don't think it would be necessary to text/call daily, but semi-regular contact in some form in a good idea until the new school year starts.

Interesting.

I think the OP's main challenge is to keep the iron hot. I don't know how long they are dating, but I see it as an opportunity for to him consolidate his frame in the relationship.

Long-distance relationship is tough sh*t.

 

[Canadian_Man]

Long distance amplifies the insecurities of both involved.

Small issues become bigger than they otherwise would have.

I would think the answer to OP's question depends partially on their dynamic prior to long distance, and on him and her in general.

Been through OP's scenario a few times, with 3-4 months apart following after the year prior together.

In those cases we spoke in the evenings before going to sleep for the night.

Didn't text much or at all during the day (which was similar to our prior dynamic).

The length of talking (e.g., phone calls, video calls) did vary day-to-day depending on other factors (e.g., other plans, weekends, work, etc.)

One issue that did arise for us is I didn't want to be on the phone as much as she did, which played on her insecurities and I didn't handle that as well as I could have in hindsight. But that might be specific to that woman and my dynamic with her, rather than OP's situation.

 

[BackInTheGame78]

This isn't a relationship, this is a waste of time.

 

[Canadian_Man]

Yeah, after reading the OP more carefully, it's not really clear that they are in a relationship?

 

[Jacer]

So it's a temporary long-distance relationship?
Try to balance this out and not give off a needy vibe. Show her (implicitly) that you are doing stuff and that you have a life without her.

Yes, we were classmates. We can't see each other because we have different plans for summer vacation.

Instant messaging has become popular with the advancement of technology, allowing the cost of communication to drop causing girls to become addicted to texting.

You're right! My attitude towards her now is that I want her, but I don't need her. This is something I learned in the DJ Bible and I think it's very true!

 

[Jacer]

And you contact her to set a date not to chit chat and to have a love story from the phone.

Agreed, since we can't see each other, we will now meet up to play video games together. Maybe also this is a way to deepen the relationship. It's bad that I can't date her offline and have physical contact, maybe I should take advantage of my vacation to meet more girls in my neighborhood.

You set a date, you have a good time, you score. Rinse-Repeat.

Golden rule! I'm not thinking about a long term relationship yet, I just want to have fun. This forum has changed me a lot, it's a really great forum!

 

[Jacer]

In a situation like this, I don't think it would be necessary to text/call daily, but semi-regular contact in some form in a good idea until the new school year starts.

It's a low investment, high return strategy, great.

She wakes up in the morning and sends me a short message "good morning", which I think is a worthless opener, and I'd rather she start a conversation as an opener. As a courtesy, I wait a bit, reply to her "good morning" and start an interesting conversation with her. We'd also meet up before bed to play games and make small talk.

I've also considered ignoring the hello's and cutting down on the small talk, which doesn't seem like a wise choice, girls always want attention.

I think too much chatting now will leave nothing to talk about when we meet for a date, which is my concern.

 

[Jacer]

I would think the answer to OP's question depends partially on their dynamic prior to long distance, and on him and her in general.

She was on the verge of a breakup when we met, and she and her boyfriend were in a long distance relationship.
We've been on a few dates with cuddling and passionate kissing, no sex so far. She told me she broke up, but her behaviour tells me it didn't, and I trust a woman's behaviour more than what she says.
I had considered a long term relationship with her before but after finding out she lied to me I just wanted to **** her and have fun with her.
There were times when we played late, we kissed and caressed, I suggested a hotel but she refused.
Now she still keeps in touch with me every day, I don't want contact, I just want sex.

 

[Jacer]

This isn't a relationship, this is a waste of time.

We're not establishing any relationship at the moment, just hanging out, kissing, caressing

 

[Jacer]

Yeah, after reading the OP more carefully, it's not really clear that they are in a relationship?

No, we're not in a relationship right now. When we're at school, we hang out, eat together, kiss and caress. We've been on about 6 dates since we met, and so far there's no sex

 

[Canadian_Man]

Perhaps there are cultural differences in China with regards to this

At 25 years old, assuming she's within a few years your age, this doesn't sound like a great start.

Six dates, no sex, and now she wants to be your pen pal?

 

[BaronOfHair]

The girl I like is home for summer vacation and I can't go hang out with her due to work.
She keeps in touch with me daily by text, but I think text chatting without bringing a date is low return. It's paradoxical that frequent contact can lead to not being mysterious, however, not being in contact could lead to a distancing of our relationship.
What would you do if it were you?

Are you both still adolescents? If not, the illusion of "long distance relationships" are something to leave in the past, alongside hoodies and weekend Fortnite marathons. If you're not regularly having physical contact, you both are pen pals